Only For Him {COLLINS #2} 🔞✓

LVI

"Did you say anything about mom again? You know right he can't just handle that topic well?" She frowned.

I smiled through tears hearing her talk. Back then I used to imagine how she'd call me mama. Today hearing her made me realise how melodious her voice was. I could hear her for the whole life. I had so many emotions inside me all at the same time. I didn't know how to process them all and put them together.

Everything became so excruciating that I couldn't stop my tears from falling. "Hey! What happened?" She embraced me close to herself making me yearn for my little angel whom I had left at Phoenix. I craved for that baby smell of hers. I craved holding her in my arms, feeding her, changing her nappies but time was irreversible.  

"You can tell me, Ursula." She wiped my tears. I looked at her beautiful face and cupped her cheeks. Looking at her worried eyes I shook my head.

"Everything's fine." I told her.

"No, it's not. What happened with dad? I saw the broken vases."

"It was nothing. I dropped it mistakenly. Nothing's wrong between us. We just don't agree on some terms." I replied, inhaling sharply.

"Don't worry, okay? He'll come around." She assured. I smiled at her and saw that anxious beam on her lips.

"You should sleep. You fainted at the restaurant today. You ought to take rest for the baby." She patted my shoulder.

I moved my hand over my belly and nodded. Perhaps, going to bed was the most ideal thing to do at that moment. I had so much inside me, which needed to be settled.

Hazel hopped on the bed and asked me to lay down next to her. I kept staring at her as she looked at me with a small smile.

"You should not worry, Ursula. My dad loves you." She said.

"I know." And may be I had reciprocated that love with much hurt.

"Whatever it is, he'd find a way to figure it out. He sometimes gets annoyed and needs his space but he is very solution centric. I promise you he would make everything just fine. Just trust him." She said in a small voice.

My eyes welled up as I heard a silent plea in her words to not to leave her dad. "I trust him." I said. She smiled and closed her eyes. My heart was beating so fast looking at her pretty face. I was just trying to find similarities in this grown up girl and the girl I left behind.

"Your dad never dated after your mum passed away." I stated. I remembered how I had criticized it and said mean things to her about my Aoran.

I felt so horrible that I wanted to cry out loud and just squeeze in his warm embrace. I wanted to make everything alright. I wanted to lessen the hurt which I had deepened years ago.

"He is with you now, that's what matters." Hazel replied. But the guilt of ruining his youth dawned upon me.  I cried silently realising he had been keeping the promise he had made to me. I cried thinking about the ring on his finger and how I had said mean things about it too. I felt so horrible for making mockery of his love for me.

"What do you think about your mom?" I asked her.

She opened her eyes and looked at me, "She was amazing. Dad says she always wanted the best for me. He says she was the best mom. Sad, that I don't remember anything." She sighed. It was like a bolt to my heart but what else could I expect.

"But I am sure she was one wonderful woman and it's such a shame that we didn't get to spend much time together." She said, making me smile sadly. Surely, her father had told her only good stories about me.

He was the kind my mother always wanted me to be with but I left him. I hid his daughter from him. I was way happy at the way he had raised our little baby. He was the man I was and always would be in love with.

My whole life played in my head just like a movie in theatre. I remembered when and where I had met him first, I remembered those sparks, I remembered how we met again, and then again at Isabella's wedding. I remembered him. I remembered us. I could now relate all of my dreams. Those weren't just dreams. Those were few important stances from my life.

I was Erin. I was Ursula. And I was his whether he accepted it or not.

I turned my head to look at my sleeping child and got up. Sleep was the last thing on my mind at that moment. I walked out of the room, rubbing my pregnant belly.

I wanted to keep a check on him. I peeked inside the room only to find the lights on and him on the couch with my stuff scattered around.

His head rested on the headrest as he started at the ceiling. He looked so much in deep thoughts that I wanted to go near him and I did. I saw Leo's sketch lying on the floor. He had something in his hand too. I found my books scattered. He had just destroyed the room.

"Aoran?" I called his name.

He didn't move but looked at me.

"Why are you sitting here?" I asked.

He didn't reply but reached for my hand. He pulled me to sit near him. Silence surrounded us as he didn't utter a single word.

"Hazel slept." I told him.

He turned his head toward me and gave me a cold stare. After a while, he nodded. I wanted to talk to him but he seemed so disinterested. I still wanted to try.

"Aoran..." I caught his attention.

"Just hear me out, please." I pleaded him. He inhaled a huge volume of air and looked at me again.

"I have had dreams. You asked me right how did I know that you never saw any woman after Erin. Well, I had a dream." I looked at him. He just kept looking at me.

"I have had so many dreams, dreams where I had bought Oggy for Hazel, where I danced with you for the first time, and when you left me before I died. I promise Aoran I am not lying." I didn't get any reaction from him.

He just looked at me and blinked continuously. My eyes landed on my stuff and I saw my notepad at a distance. I went to pick it up and opened the page where I had drawn my dream home.

"Look, this was my dream home. I drew it months ago when I hadn't stepped in your mansion. How did I draw the same mansion? I got Leo's sketch done because he was in my dreams. You have to believe me for once, please." I almost begged him.

He sighed and held my hand. He came close to me and wiped my tears. "It's okay, Ursula. It's fine." He said.

I looked at him sobbing so badly. He shook his head and smiled, "We'll go to your therapist tomorrow."

I frowned at him and I felt so helpless when I saw my mental therapy session card was lying right next to him.

"It happens, okay? Dreams sometimes feel like reality. You just need some rest and a good therapist. I promise you I'm always here for you. I am so sorry for the way I treated you a while ago. I love you so much." He said running his fingers through my hair.

"I'm not sick, Aoran. You ought to believe me." I cried, staring at the card which stated I had dissociative personality disorder.

***To Be Continued***

Hey guys! I hope everyone is doing well. So sorry for such long long wait. My fam and I were tested positive a fortnight ago. Everyone has recovered now. So, here goes the update. I know it isn't really well written, I just pushed myself to write anything but something for you guys.
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t's actually difficult to combine Erin and Ursula. They both have personalities which are poles apart. I know the write-up is bad but give me suggestions how I can improve it.

Also, thanks for still being there and waiting!!

Much love 💕