Chase me or lose me (Jaemin)

3.13 Wants to forget

Souji: enough, I heard it all from the start. I am sick of this Y/n, if you just told me the truth from the start we could have figured out a better decision for all of it. But you wanted to deal with it alone

Y/n: I-

Souji: after you left I couldn’t be myself anymore. I didn’t eat, sleep or do school work because I went into a depressed mood.

Souji: My parents had more work to do and Jeno was busy doing this idol stuff. I wanted you to be there so badly, because if you were there then both of us would have been happy.

Souji: I was so drunk one day that I cheated on Jeno with a total stranger, I drank that day because I wanted to wash away my sadness….that you left behind

Y/n: I remember somehow this, where you cheated-

Souji: I made a mistake, but I couldn’t handle the blame so I blamed it on. Which made things rost because Jeno hated it, that I blamed you. We broke up and I was still alone. If you didn’t leave my life  would have been better, so would yours

Y/n: I didn’t think about your life I didn’t know it could change so much

Souji: when you tried to contact me I was so happy that you found me again, but that’s when I finally had control over my life. I felt like if you came back things would be a living hell, which is why I pushed you away

Y/n; I understand everything right now so much better

Souji: We have already been away for so long, Jeno hates me and I pissed Jaemin off. I have no longer a will to be with you guys. I have a better life ahead of myself

Y/n: I will then no longer try to get you back, but I know how it feels to lose someone

Souji: you have lost no one, people have lost people because of you

Y/n: I was in China to study, I came back because I got to know that Jinae committed suicide. Thanks for meeting up, this will be the last time. *leaves*

Souji: Jinae sister passed away, that’s someone you loved who passed away for real while mine is just not in my life…. Y/n I don’t know what to say but you are gone already before I could react

With Y/n back in the apartment-
I feel like is better now that I talked to Souji because now I understand things from her POV which means I see things better.

She has a big point, when I left I changed and had an impact on everyone's life. Someone had it very bad like Souji, others moved on quickly.

Jaemin never told me how he felt deeply about me going to China or how dealing with his love for me was a problem. If I was Jaemin I would have given up a while ago and maybe I would have forgotten that person during those 2 years.

but Jaemin is strong about his feelings but I can't keep on using that as a reason to treat him badly. I told Jeno a while ago that Jaemin’s life is much better when I am not in it.

Maybe I should reconsider that. My stomach is growling just when I hear my phone call. Jeno is calling me.

The phone call-
Y/n: Hey Jeno, what’s going on?

Jeno: why did you lie to Jaemin about your relationship?

Y/n: My parents had sent 2 guys looking for me and taking notes about who I was with. They were at the café when Jaemin came in, I had to get Jaemin out of there

Jeno: why don’t you just tell the truth and Jaemin can stay away knowing you love him

Y/n: He stood away for so long, how could he last any longer?

Jeno: he wants to forget you now because of that