I'm in love with my stepbrother

waiting for my death

"One month, only one month left to get a new kidney or...."

I could hear the nurses talk thru the windowwall while I laid in my bed in hospital. They said things like I was crazy and I needed help from god to get better, it was really just bullshit what they said. The only thing I needed was that bitches like them would stop talking about my life and let me live it. And with that I grabbed the glasswase at my table and threw it at the glasswall as all the three nurses quickly laid down on the ground like there was some kinda shooting and soon they looked stright at me giving me judging looks. 
"WHAT THE HELL LEVI?!" My big brother came in the door as he looked at me worried as I sat up in the bed looking stright at him weakly. 
"Levi darling, we need you to speak. You haven´t said anything in one month, you haven´t even ate enough. Honey, look at you! You are only bones. Levi, please" he said to as he grabbed around me and I just sat there not doing anything. All I wanted was to cry, but I didn´t. I just needed Luke to come, but he haven´t been here in one month either. Mom and dad just says that everything he does is sit on the beach playing a guitar with some notes at his side. That´s it. He can´t even make time to visit me, even when I´m dying. 

04:00 AM in the night and I´m still not sleeping. Dad is sleeping in the couch and my big brother in the other couch as I´m listing out of the room as when I´m nearly at the door all the wires I have in my arm, that is like 10, and the one I have in my nose for breathing holds me back. So I drag them out as the machine starts beeping and the alarm goes of as I start running towareds the stairs that is right with my room. And as I take a little look behind me I can see all the nurses and doctors running towards my room without even noticing me running away. Lucky. 

So there I was on the roof of the hospital barefoot with only my pajama pink shorts and a big grey hoodie with the font "bitch got lucky" in white. I just sat there watching the city run and really just waited for my death now that I had no machines attached to my body. And I bleed from my arm as the wires had made some cuts. 

"All I want right now is to feel your heartbeat fast, just like mine. Ohh just like mine. I need you to be fine..." I sang a little as I felt my lungs get weaker as I had sat there in 5 hours now singing and frezzing. 
I didn´t want this life anymore, cause I´d die anyways in one month so.