Mergana Oneshots

My attempt at a Crackfic

I'll be teasing poor Gaius in this one. Happy Friday everyone!

Gaius woke up early, a smile gracing his lips as he stretched, happy to get to work in the haunted castle ruled by a maniac.

He tossed the blanket in the air, and struck a pose as he jumped out of his cot. The blanket fell on a sputtering candle Merlin had left lit, and the cloth burst into flames, not that Gaius cared. 

He danced around the room, his destination the dining table, opened books sprawled across the wooden surface.  He pushed the books off the table, sending them to the floor along with a few vials, the shattering waking the poor warlock in the room nearby. 

Gaius hummed a song loudly, dancing wildly as he went to make breakfast. He plopped the pot loudly on the fireplace, and poured in oats and milk, stirring faster than the speed of sound. Milk and oats went flying. 

The old man danced in place above the pot, before spotting the sugar jar on the shelves. "Yummy." The man decided, and poured the whole thing in. He also added little teared up pieces of spinach, for good flavor.

"Are you sure you didn't get possessed again-Gaius?" Merlin walked in the room, surveying the mess.

Gaius shook his booty in the direction of the boy. Merlin eyed his mentor, and went to get a glass of water. "Are you okay, Gaius?"

"I'm all good, Chubster." Gaius replied, and Merlin spit out the water, choking. 

"Gaius? What happened to you?" Merlin stepped back as Gaius heaved the pot and dished sticky and burnt oatmeal into plates. "I discovered my love for dancing!" Gaius wiggled, and flung the pot behind his head. Merlin looked down at the oatmeal, which had green pieces floating in it, and stuck his finger in it. Bringing it to his lips, he choked for the second time today at the amount of sugar. 

"Good, right?" Gaius asked, searching in his closet. Merlin cleared his throat. "Sure."

Gaius pulled out a green glittery robe, and a velvet red cloak from the wardrobe. Merlin shuddered. "Why do you even have that?" Gaius didn't answer, just continued humming as he pulled the robe over his night clothes. Then he reached back in the closet and pulled out a squirrel fur scarf died pink.

  Merlin cleared his throat. "I hear Arthur calling my-" Gaius grabbed his hand before he could flee. "No, let's dance!"

Merlin felt a strange sensation climb up his arm, his magic fighting it back. His arm tingled, a part of him wanting to dance and have 'fun'. Merlin wrenched his arm from Gaius's grip, and ran out the room, Gaius skipping and twirling behind him. 

Arthur spotted Merlin race through a door way and stopped him. "Merlin were where you?" Merlin panted, and didn't answer. "Arthur, listen to me. Make sure no one touches Gaius. He's enchanted."

Arthur smiled. "Even if he's enchanted, we can help him. We're his friends."

Suddenly Gaius burst through the doorway, singing something about bloodthirsty monsters. 

Arthur paled. "I'll notify the guards." 

Merlin continued running with Arthur, until they got stopped by Gwen. 

"What's the hurry?" She asked sweetly. 

Merlin gulped. "Well, Gaius got enchanted, and if you touch him, you'll act like he does."

Gwen frowned. "Well, maybe we can help him."

Suddenly, Gaius burst through the door, chanting on about togas and high heels. 

Gwen paled drastically. "Move!" She pulled the two boys forward.

Pretty soon they met Morgana, walking over to get her sleeping draught. 

"Hello!" She smiled kindly. Merlin smiled back, before glancing over his shoulder. "If you see Gaius, run."

Morgana cocked her head. "Why-"

Gaius burst through the door. "Merlin and Morgana sitting in a tree!" He sang loudly.

 Merlin blushed, and grabbed the three others so they could run.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G"

~~~

Gaius woke up the next day, sleeping on the floor of the tavern. He groaned, and sat up, not noticing what he was wearing. 

He walked through the village, and heard noises in the stables. He frowned, and went to check it out. 

Arthur, Merlin, Gwen and Morgana sat huddled in the corner, looking like they never slept. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Gaius asked.

The four of them screamed and Arthur jumped up with his sword, while Morgana, Gwen and Merlin started trying to break the walls.

Arthur swung his sword around, and Gaius backed up.

"Scram you evil beast!" Arthur hollered, fear evident in his eyes.

"I'm no beast." Gaius said calmly. 

"Says the one wearing a glittery dress!" Merlin shouted, and Gaius looked down and screamed.

I have no idea what I was doing here....