Alan Rickman one shots: smutt & fluff

What falling in love is

( snape )📜🖤 what falling in love feels like

hey y'all.. so I was originally gonna write a smut one shot but I got very depressed today. I haven't been feeling my usual self so I'm doing this instead. I'm still gonna do the smut(posting tomorrow) I'm just posting this one right now. My greatest comfort character is snape so yea..
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I sat in the empty library table, crying.. slowly turning into sobs, holding my face in my hands as I tried to quiet myself. It was dark except for a candle that lit the area I was at. I had one of my bad days again. I thought I was getting better. I thought that maybe it had all went away. The feeling of feeling like I'm useless and nothing. The feeling of worthlessness and not enough. Feelings of being lonely.

I still had a terrible breakdown once in a while, but it was getting better.. right?

I snapped out of my thoughts once I heard the door open and someone come in. Quickly I wiped my tears but I was sobbing so hard, my eyes were puffy and with tears all over my face, my nose bright pink and snotty.

Trying to quickly compare myself, I saw who entered.

"Ms. y/l/n, what're you doing here?"
Professor snape questioned me. I knew there was no point in trying to hide my face. It was obvious I was crying.. hard.

"I'm sorry professor, I'll just leave" I stood up trying to get out as quickly as possible.

"I didn't say to leave.. I asked what were you doing here... why are you.. .. . crying..?"

"I'm sorry it's just.." I didn't want to lie to him. Deep down I wanted to talk to him and tell him what was wrong. I wanted affection..

"It's just that.. it hasn't been a very good day.." I said sitting back down, covering my face with my hands again.

"What's happened" he asked, actually concerned.

He sat down near to me, trying not to get to close.

"Everything.." I blurted out

"It's just that.. today someone who I really loved and cared about died.. and it's been hard.. 5 years ago... 5 years they've been gone and even after five years I can't get over it. It gets harder and harder. And then my parents have gotten in contact with me. They said some really harsh thing to me.. and it-
I started to cry again

I talked through my cries..
"It made me feel bad.. and it hurts..
My feelings have been all over the place today. I thought maybe I was starting to get happy again.. it just I feel like sometimes I'm not good enough and I don't belong and.. alone"

There was silence, except for my crying of course..
Until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I lifted my head up slowly.
Snape was staring at me. He was staring with emotion.. like he cared.

"Y/n.. I..uh.. I know what it feels like to.. lose someone you care very much for. I know what it's like to feel they way you feel. I do.. but I'm telling you.. you shouldn't feel like that. You might not see it but you are important to people.
People care about you. You are such a bright soul with much potential. You're kind and smart.. you have so much for you."

"I just.. feel like that sometimes"
I stared at him. How I loved him. How much I cared for this man.

"I know.. everyone does at some point. But.. you don't deserve it y/n. You deserve better"
I smiled a little placed a hand on his which was still on my shoulder.

"Well.. so do you. I don't know what you've been through but.. I'm sorry about the person you lost.. and that you feel the feelings I do..
I know deep down you're really kind and just don't wanna show it." I teased him.

"Well.. you're a better person than me, that's for certain"

"But you are a good person too. Not a lot of people see that. But I do.. somehow. You've helped me a lot.. really you have"

It fell silent for a bit.

Im falling in love you, professor
I thought to myself.

"Y/n... you're good enough. You're enough."
He cupped my cheek with his hand for a moment before placing it back on my shoulder.
He slowly leaned into a placed a kiss to my cheek. Then leaning into my ear he whispered.. "I think I'm falling in love with you too, y/n"
I felt my heart drop for a second. I hugged him tight and he hugged back. Leaning into his ear I quietly said "did you read my mind .."
"I had to.."
I giggled and he chuckled a little as well.

He then walked me back to my dorm.
Right as we got to it, I stepped on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him down to me and kissed him.  He placed his hands on my waist pulling me a little bit closer.

His lips.. not like I imagined. They were not to soft but not hard either. He tasted like tea and cinnamon.

"Thank you, professor." I whispered to him. "I'll see you tomorrow.."

"See you tomorrow, Ms y/l/n" he smirked cutely