The Dorm Keeper | (g)i-dle

32 - SHE KNOWS, TOO

A B B Y

"I remember the first time that we went out, Abby. We ate here at the same place with just the two of us," Soyeon said as she placed a cup of mango ice cream in front of me.

I laughed a little, easing the pain that I had to endure earlier. "Y-You're right."

I really needed the chance to get out of the mansion. There's just so much going on right now and I could definitely use a time out.

"It's hard, isn't it?" she suddenly said.

"What is?"

"Having to understand and deal with my members individually.."

I just sadly nodded. In fact, I'm even hurting some of them unintentionally and I despise myself for that.

She sighed. "You have a thing for Miyeon Unnie, don't you?"

..What?

Her straightforward question caught me off guard. I wasn't able to say anything after that.

"I have known about it for quite some time now.. Abby. You don't have to keep denying it to me," she said. "But do you know what else is there?"

I nervously looked at her as I waited for her to continue speaking.

"I used to like you back then. And I still do now.. but I've already established who you are in my life." Her sincerity made me feel at ease even just for a bit. "I know how important you are to my group. You became like a family to us."

Although my mind wasn't able to process everything that she said, I still tried to get a hold of the situation.

..Did she just say she liked me before too?

"I spent the time avoiding you to make myself realize that we're just not end game and we're not going to be possible," she said as she held my hand firm. I let her give warmth to my cold and trembling hands. "And I'm not against you falling in love with any of my members, because their happiness should be mine too as their leader. I know that if someone had to let go.. then it would be me."

My heart became so weak after what she said. I didn't even know that it was already something like this for her..

"It was hard at first for me, Abby.. because I actually liked you a lot. But my members are more important to me.." she said before letting go of my hand, as if her actions were complementing her words. "And I didn't want to fight with them over you, because I love them."

I sighed heavily as guilt occupied me. I can't believe that we've already gotten to this point.. I never intended things to be this way.

"I backed down specifically because of Miyeon Unnie.." Her eyes were surprisingly calm, it's like she already planned the whole thing out in her mind. "But when I saw the way that you looked at Minnie Unnie, I just knew that there was something going on too."

What she said is making me scared, because I know that falling for Minnie will just make things even more complicated.

"I-I'm sorry.." I said in a low voice. "I'm such a bad person."

She cupped my face and tried to reassure me. "You're not, Abby. How is this your fault? You don't control other people's hearts."

I feel like tears are about to come out from my eyes soon, but I don't really want to make a scene inside the ice cream store.

"It might be hard to deal with their feelings, but I really hope that you will be able to choose one soon." Her voice was so composed when she said that, it's like one would instantly feel safe with her around.