The Dorm Keeper | (g)i-dle

69 - FREUDIAN SLIP

ABBY's POV

"So you just woke up one day and realized that you want kids and now you're just going to throw me away like some kind of trash?!" I desperately cried. "For God's sake, Kim Minnie.. You promised me and made me expect for something that wasn't going to happen in the first place!"

"Abby, I-I'm so sorry.." she tried reaching out for my hand, but I didn't let her. "I-I had no idea that I'd still feel this way towards him.. because it was such a long time ago already."

So she's finally admitting it. She's still in love with Kevin..

I honestly thought that hearing this would set me free, but why do I suddenly feel like I'm only sinking deeper into an endless trench?

I wanted to make her regret for giving me the reason to break up with her, but it doesn't even feel like she cares enough for that to happen. I'm still the one hurting and crying right now.. alone.

"I-If you never stopped loving Kevin, then where was I during all those times that we were dating?!" The truth was tearing me apart that no matter how much I tried to maintain my composure, I just couldn't. "You acted like you loved me so much. B-But honestly speaking.. did you even love me?"

"I-I did.. and I still do," she barely managed to reply. However, I couldn't feel any sincerity from her at all. "I just loved him more than I thought and maybe he never really left my heart, that's why I want to apologize for that."

"T-Then what does that make me?!" I shouted as more tears poured out.

"I love you, Abby.. It's just, Kevin and I have known each other for so long. I can't remove him from my life easily."

"So your plan.. is to keep me with you while you're flirting with him behind my back?" I bit my lip anxiously. "I-Is that it?"

"Abby it's not that.. I'm just so confused right now. I-I can't decide properly and I don't want to regret letting you go."

This is just.. unbelievable.

"Do I even have to deal with your regrets now?! A-Am I even supposed to stay with you until you're sure about me?!" I asked in disbelief. "What the hell are you so afraid of, Kim Minnie?! J-Just tell me so we could get this over with!"

She took a deep breath before staring right into my eyes. "..I don't want to see you being happy with someone else, just like what happened with Miyeon when we first started dating."

"W-What?" I paused and slowly looked back at her.

Is this why she kept dragging Miyeon back into this? Because she wanted the members to put boundaries between Miyeon and I just like what they're doing with her right now?

That way.. both of them wouldn't be able to talk to me. But I don't want to believe it.. that would be so cruel of her. There's gotta be a different level of desperation for that to happen.

"There, I finally said it," she sighed heavily. "I'm afraid that all of this would fire back at me and I can't stand that happening, Abby."

"Seriously.. w-who are you?" I wiped my tears as I slowly moved away from her in disgust. "Y-You're no longer the woman that I loved, you've changed so much.."

I'm not sure what happened to her these past few days, but if there's one thing that I'm sure of.. she's definitely not the Minnie that I wanted to spend my future with.

But how could this change in a span of weeks? Is that even possible?

"I'm trying to be the same! But I'm pressured with my family too, don't you get that?!" The calmness from her voice was suddenly replaced with anger. Although I have no idea why she thinks she has the right to get mad at me, it was showing all over her face. "Maybe if they knew you better, then I would actually have the courage to tell them about us!"