Intrigue

Chapter 19

Chapter 19 - Sean's POV

I watched Malcolm walk away, my heart beating fast. He suddenly turned back to look at me. I looked back towards him, desperately hoping he'd turn to walk back to me, or at least stop to let me catch up to him. But he walked away, and I didn't follow him.

I don't know why I didn't. I think I was a bit pissed off, as well, at the accusations. Maybe I'd gone a bit overboard, yes, with the flirting. I just couldn't help myself. Alice had been nice, I hadn't had attention from a woman for a while. And I hadn't been committed to someone for a long time, since the first few months of my relationship with Riley, around two years prior. And well, Alice was attractive... and I thought that what I'd been doing had been in favour of Malcolm, of trying to ease the tension of the video call the day before. My intentions had been good this time.

I took out my phone, attempting to call him. It rang and went to voicemail the first time, but didn't connect the second time. He'd switched his phone off. I sighed.

Did he think it was easy, my trying to pretend that I didn't want to commit to him, when in reality he meant so much to me? It took all I had to control myself.

But he didn't know that, did he? To him, I was just giving him mixed signals. This was so difficult, not being able to discuss it with anyone. To be fair, I had found myself in similar situations over the years, too, so it wasn't my first.

I decided to go back to the bar, at least to say goodbye to Alice, before heading off home. I'd have to attempt calling Malcolm later, although his words had been a bit harsh. I didn't know whether I would manage to change his mind this time. I walked back in the bar, and bumped into Alice almost immediately.

"Oh," she said, surprised at the impact. She'd put her hands up, seemingly to shield herself from the collision. They now lay on my chest, for the second time that night. I glanced down at them.

"Hey," I answered, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. She seemed to have felt its increase, and she looked down at her hands in confusion, before putting them away.

"I thought you guys had left, or were in some corner or behind some column," Alice told me suggestively.

I forced a smile. "Malcolm left. I came in to say goodbye."

Her face fell. "Already? What happened?" she asked.

I exhaled, torn between wanting to keep our fight private and telling her the truth, which she'd probably be getting out of Malcolm later anyway. I didn't want to appear as a liar in front of Alice, even though he'd probably be mad at me for telling. "We had an argument," I admitted to her, meeting her eyes. A couple of people tried passing by from next to us, and I found myself squashed against the door of the bar, extremely close to Alice now.

The universe seemed to be against me this evening. The only way for it to be worse would be for Malcolm to pass by now, and see me in this position which had been forced on me.

"About what?" Alice asked, referring to the argument. "We were laughing at the bar just minutes ago."

"You and I were laughing at the bar," I answered. "Malcolm was just watching. He thought I was hitting on you."

Alice's eyes widened. "What?" she asked me. "Why would you be hitting on me? Aren't you gay?"

I pursed my lips. "I'm bisexual," I said.

"Oh," Alice answered in surprise. Then she seemed to really take in what I'd said. "Oh," she repeated. I could tell she was uncomfortable at this news, and was probably processing all that had happened earlier in her head once again, with the new information of my not being gay. "Well, were you? Hitting on me?" She stepped back from me and I knew that no matter what I said, she wouldn't be believing me. Her loyalty was to Malcolm.

"No, I don't think I was," I answered, feeling uncomfortable now. "I'm all confused now, to be honest. I may have been flirting a little, yeah, but it's harmless - I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry if it looked that way."

Alice looked back at me in shock. "I- I didn't realise. I thought we were just laughing around, and I was happy that Malcolm found someone so great. I hope he's not angry at me, too. Maybe he thought I was flirting too."

I smiled sadly. "I'm sure he didn't. This was my fault," I said, and unconsciously lifted my hand and put it on her arm to clarify something. Both her and I froze when our skin made contact. I pulled my hand away quickly. "I'm sorry," I apologised, trying to step even further back. "Look, I screwed up. I adore Malcolm. So please, if you manage to speak to him, do tell him this."

"I will. I'll try calling him later." Alice watched me. "You really do care about him, don't you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I love him," I said in a lower voice. My heart raced at this. I'd already said it to John, and now to Alice. All that was pending was for me to say it to Malcolm himself. But first I needed him to forgive me, and to get Anthony out of the way.

Alice smiled back at me. "I think you need to tell him that," she said. "And you need to decide whether you want to commit or not."

"I want to. I just need to solve a few things first," I admitted.

"Maybe if you tell him what your issues are, he'll understand."

I forced a smile again, making it very obvious that I couldn't speak about it. "Thank you, Alice. I think I'm going to head off now. Thank you for listening to me."

"You're welcome." Alice smiled at me, and it was her turn to place a hand on my arm. She didn't see me as a threat now. "Take care of him, okay?"

"I'm sorry for the hassle I caused. I hope he'll find it in his heart to forgive me," I said to her. "Goodnight, Alice. It was lovely to meet you." I nodded at her and turned around to leave. I didn't look back as I emerged from the bar and into the street.

I exhaled deeply. See, I could speak to an attractive person without making advances on them. Only Malcolm wasn't around to see it now. I took out my phone, and tried calling him again. Nothing. I hoped he would speak to me again. I was genuinely worried.

I texted him. I'm sorry. Please speak to me when you're ready to.

I put my hands in my pockets and sighed, and started the long, therapeutic walk home.