Dark Prince [ Lestat De Lioncourt ]

Chapter Thirty Five - Humanity

Author's Note: This takes place when Louis and Rose get together in the last chapter. The beginning is Lestat's thoughts and his battle with humanity. At the same time, he's unconscious from his necked being snapped by Derrick from the previous chapter. He's also retelling the event through his POV.)

Lestat's POV

They say that once you give up your humanity, that you're basically cursing yourself for all eternity. That the chances of you actually getting it back, in the end, are very slim. Even if a miracle were to happen and you were somehow able to bring yourself back into the light, you would still be unsuccessful at the end of the day. Once you flip the switch, you never come back the same, despite how hard you try, and from what I've seen in my life as a vampire, that is partially true.

Some of them come back crazy, unable to accept the reality of their choices, and some come back broken, frightened of the mess they created in their parade of chaos, unsure of how to fix it. Either way, they both lose in the end. Tragedy at its finest.

It's part of the reason why I don't want to come back. It's just easier for me not to. I want to forget my old life and start anew, even if I'm not as happy as I was before. I need to move on, despite my fears. I can't risk letting the old Lestat back in. It wouldn't be suitable for anyone, especially Rose...and that is the sour truth of it.

I've practically traumatized her at this point. Coming back would do her no good. If anything, it would make moving on from me harder for her. However, the old Lestat inside me begs to differ. I tried reasoning with him, but oh, how he loves to fight me on this matter.

That's the thing about humanity, if you still have an attachment lurking around you, it can easily slip back in with just enough effort. As long as Rose remains alive, I will always have an attachment to her. There will always be a small part of my brain trying to come back, whether I want it to or not.

However, this causes a predicament for me. Every day and every night, it's the same routine. When Akasha and James aren't around, the old Lestat is constantly fighting to claw his way back out, determined to get back to his sweet and most precious Rose, which is why I have been so unsuccessful in killing her lately. He manages to stop me every time.

It really gets me angry sometimes, especially since I am so close to succeeding in this. If I could strangle the old me right now, I would. He's driving me absolutely crazy. I almost got rid of her tonight, and he managed to walk in and ruin it for me.

I could literally feel her life slipping through her veins. Her blood tasted so sweet and pure, not to mention powerful too. It was almost similar to Akasha's blood, but not nearly strong......it tasted too innocent for that, which is why it was so desirable.

It was basically liquid power....just less tainted, I guess. So it wasn't as corrupted as Akasha's blood was. Plus, it didn't really play tricks on your brain, either. If anything, it made me feel saner, as if the world had started to become a bit clearer for once.

My senses were so high. It felt like they were in overdrive or something. The rush was completely indescribable. Adrenaline was practically flooding through my body. My strength felt doubled, if not tripled.

The energy engulfing my veins was exhilarating beyond words. I didn't expect Rose's blood to have such a euphoric effect on me. In a way, it made me feel like a vampire on drugs somehow. I was essentially in a state of pure ecstasy, eternal bliss if you will.

It was a high unlike any other. Honestly, I couldn't find the right words to explain it. It felt so fucking amazing. The taste, the thrill, the pleasure of it all. It was like I was on another planet. Her blood just tasted so good to me. Too good, for that matter. I couldn't get enough of it.