Behind Closed Doors (studentxteacher) COMPLETED

Chapter 45

Two weeks flew by without much going on, I appreciated that brief period.

Bethany got official custody over us, the meeting had happened without incident.

Sky and Lily were doing well. they were fine during the day and some nights. A few nights they would wake me up and I would do my best to comfort them.

Will and Xavier were trying to form some sort of relationship. They were becoming friends again and it made both of them happier to be in each others lives.

I had cut three times in two weeks, I was proud of myself for that. Will tried to support me about it the best he could but I knew he hated when I did it. He felt helpless.

We stayed strong despite that, he stuck by me.

Treatment was bearable for the most part. I was now 105 pounds so I only needed two Ensures a week. Meals weren’t as horrible because they gave me slightly less food.

It was Wednesday afternoon currently and I was going outside with Adam for my session. He had been talking to me recently about the girls and Ash. Today was a bit more difficult.

“Tell me a bit more about your parents. You said your mother is unstable, was she always? What was your relationship with her like?” he asked. “Was your dad always abusive?”

“My mother was a lot more stable before Ash died and she was until I got out of my depression.” I stared up at the sky. “She locked herself in her room, crying, a lot. Sometimes she would yell at me, sometimes I would yell back.”

“What were the fights about?”

“Normally it would start with things like household chores or money but it would become more personal. I would often say she was selfish and weak for letting dad continue to terrorize us, she would call me stupid, fat or a murderer.”

I looked at the ground, crying silently. I heard the scribble of his pen on a paper. When it stopped I knew he  was watching me.

“You still want a relationship with her.” He stated.

“I wish we could have one.” I nodded. “She’s not ready for that and neither am I.”

“What about your father?” he asked.

I cringed. “What about him?”

“Would you want a relationship with him?”

“Never. I will not forgive him. I hate him for all he has done.”

“But you also fear him along with the hate. Which is stronger?”

I thought about it briefly, I’d love to say the hate cancelled out the fear but that wasn’t true.

“The fear.” I replied.

“Is he the reason you fear other guys?” when I nodded, he pressed on. “Can you explain the thought process?”

“I am just afraid of being hurt by other men like my father hurt me. I react as if I was being attacked. My mind goes to self defense.” I told him. “Sometimes my mind will flashback to memories of my father.”

His watch beeped to let us know we had to go back upstairs.

“Your doctors want your entire household to come to this Fridays team meeting.” He said, before we entered the building.

“Everyone? Even Lily?” I stuttered. I figured this place would freak them out.

“Even her.” He looked at me with a sorry expression.