Chapter 41

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Will and I were driving to his apartment the next afternoon. He held one of my hands as he drove.

“So tell me about this treatment center. How horrible are the people?” he asked.

“How do you know that they are horrible?” I wondered. I hadn’t spoken to him much over the past week.

He gave me a look. “You cried yourself to sleep every night. Some of that was my fault but you locked yourself in your room Wednesday night after you came home.”

“You noticed?”

“Of course I did.”

“I honestly thought you didn’t care.” I admitted.

“I always cared, I was just being an ass about it.” He winced, still feeling bad about it. “So treatment?”

I sighed and told him all about the nurses and therapists, Jess, Debbie and Adam. He told me just as Zoey did, to tell someone if Adam made me uncomfortable. I told him about Amber and Leah. I told him about Dr. Kestelic and Dr. Saunders.

“Group isn’t horrible, the worst part is the meals and the team meeting.”

We had parked the car and were going up to his apartment.

“How huge are the meals?” he asked, sitting on the couch but angling his body to face me.

“They tend to admit people who weigh less than 100. Because I am underweight and not being admitted, they hit every food group, stuff me with calories and make me have a supplement.” I played with a strand of my hair. “At the meeting yesterday, they told Bethany I should be eating that much everyday and getting the supplement five times a week.”

“How much do they want you to gain?”

I hesitated to answer but forced myself to. “A little more than 30 pounds.”

“Wow.” He said after a moment. I winced at his brief silence.

“I’m going to look horrible, you know that right? I completely understand if you-“ I had started rambling but he cut me off with a kiss.

“Beauty,” he started when I pulled away. “I don’t care if you weighed 500 pounds, that’s just more of you to love. You will always be beautiful and I will always want you.”

His eyes held so much sincerity that I couldn’t doubt him. He would be there no matter what.  It felt like some weight was lifted of my shoulders from hearing him say that.

“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.” I told him.

We lounged at the apartment, Will ordered Chinese food delivery for dinner and I ate a decent portion. We had been watching television shows when Will’s laptop beeped saying he got an email.

“I don’t feel like getting it.” He groaned. He was laying with his head in my lap. We had been changing positions a fair amount.

“Sit up and I’ll grab it.” I flicked his forehead.

“That also requires moving.”

I laughed and lifted his head to get up. I grabbed his laptop and he sat up to take it from me.

“Someone just sent me a recording of the talent show.” He looked at me. “Care to watch?”

“Sure.” I agreed.

We watched it on his laptop, commenting on who we liked most and where people made mistakes.

When it went my performance, I wanted to see how I looked and sounded.

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