Mine (Liam Payne/ one direction)

chapter 21

One week.

One fucking week I haven't stood from the bed. My sister or father would bring me food to my room and I would eat. I only stood from the bed to go to the bathroom and most of the times I just stared at the wall infront of me.

I couldn't think because my mind was not functioning properly. I have suffered a trauma and I can't get over it. Broken. Scared. Emotionally scared.

But something snapped in me that morning when I woke up and I decided to write about it.

Dear diary,

Today my mind said to me you're not going to be sad. you're going to get over this and start fresh. If it was a choice between me killing myself or be depressed and let depression kill me and having fun with my friends and not having to worry about anything, I choose to be happy. I have dealed with so much and I am fucking over it. I am tired of fighting the same battle over and over in my head and I am getting over it.

Depression does not make me happy and I want to be happy. I don't want to be the sad little girl who is afraid to experience life and be happy just because one bad thing happened to her. This things are lessons. I want to be free and live my life willingly. I want to be happy.

I dressed in short shorts and a crop top and I decided to go out with my three best friends: Spencer, Hanna and Emily.

We decided to go in Starbucks because they made the best coffee.

I decided to tell them everything just because I don't want them to think I'm hiding something. I wasn't here for a month and I needed to explain myself.

I also wanted to repeat everything that happened to me and just tell the story for the last time and I don't want to think about it anymore.

*

".. And I don't want you to look at me like I have cancer because I don't and i'm thankful I don't. I don't want you giving me pity and giving me advices on how to be strong because I have learned how to be strong. And I don't want you to feel like not helping because you're really helping by just listening to me" I said and smiled.

" I know you don't want to listen to this crap but I just have to say that you're literally the strongest person I have ever met and I can't believe that you got over it and you're smiling right now I mean I am so proud of you for getting out of depression by yourself you were all alone in this" Emily said and I smiled.

" Thanks Em" I said.

" Let's go clubbing tonight" Hanna said.

"Hanna she- " Spencer started but I cut her off.

"i'm totally fine I said you guys don't have to treat me like I'm sick or something there is nothing wrong with me" I said to them and they nodded.

"Well tonight at 8, wear something sexy" Hanna said and I smiled.

" I will" I said.

We said our goodbye's and went home.

I have to get ready for tonight.