To Save a City (Divergent/Eric) 2 of 3 COH Series

Chapter 59

Hillsong United-'Not Today'

(Hosanna's POV)

The shower and the pain pills definitely helped.  I'm having trouble controlling my emotions, though.  I feel like crying about what Eric said earlier.  I hope he wasn't being serious.  I've never been this emotional before and it's difficult to control my outbursts.  I'm trying so hard though. It almost feels like everything is crumbling down around me and I have to remain strong and confident.
We walk down to breakfast with Ava in silence. Eric's not even holding my hand, which really hurts my feelings.  It's like he's afraid to even touch me—disgusted by me.  I sigh letting it go; this is all new for him. Just the mention of a delivery room sent his stomach into convulsions—something I've never seen from him before. I need to be understanding with him. He still loves me.
I feel so torn lately though.  Just the pain, the stress from the events as of late, and my emotional roller coaster makes me feel as if I'm under spiritual attack.  I raise my chin up and push all of these things aside.  No matter what life throws at me, it doesn't change a thing.  I will give no foothold to this.  I am strong.  I am brave.  I will not allow these situations to shake me. 
Ava loads her plate, saying that she's glad her appetite is back.  She's been losing a lot of weight lately and said her ribs are protruding.  I'm grateful we can help her through this. She definitely has a more positive attitude than before.  We part ways, leaving her with Charlotte at their table.  Tyler isn't present, which is probably for the best. 
My guards follow behind us with their food.  We're all carrying bags with our clothes in them. We figured showering in the facilities downstairs is probably a good idea, so we can stick together and it'll be the most convenient for them. They both sit next to me at the leaders' table in full gear.  Mia and Ryan are at the far side of the table and Lydia is next to Eric.  I take a deep, calming breath and release it slowly.  The amount of gossip going around is insane today. 
"How do you do it Lydia?" I question feeling like the words around us are trying to chip away at my resolve.  I need a little advice from a friend. 
"What?  Deal with the gossip?" she asks. 
"Yeah, when you're... hormonal?" I ask quietly. 
"Oh?  That.  Well... it's definitely not my nicest time," she laughs.  "A lot of deep breathing and not scheduling important meetings for the next seven days or so."
"Seven?" Eric asks surprised.
"Yeah, five to seven days, Eric. Were you not paying attention in health class?" Lydia jokes.
"You said four," he whispers to me.
"On the shot it's been four days for me but off is much longer," I say monotonously pushing my food around on my plate. For some reason scrambled eggs sounded good but now that I have them, they're not what I want. They're much drier than I would make.
"Oh," Eric replies quietly. "How do you and Hale last that long without... you know?" he says softly to Lydia.
She laughs and looks at him to see he's serious. "Well... if you really must know..." she says and whispers the rest in his ear. She makes some sort of gesture that I'm not following. Eric looks at her in question and she nods to him.
I sigh and hope she's not saying anything perverse to my husband as I start shoveling the dry eggs in my mouth. I need all the strength I can get to make it through this day physically.  I notice Max approaching us with his tray in hand. He motions for my guards to scoot down and they do so quickly. I look up to see those same guards from Rosie's interrogation sitting on either side of Tobias at his table. Zeke, Shauna, and their siblings are seated with them. It looks like everyone has taken them in since they're all laughing together. Max sits next to me, sighing.
"How are you doing today?" he asks.
"I feel terrible," I mumble.
"It'll pass," he says rubbing my back. I lean into the touch since my back has been aching.
"You weren't kidding. Are you feeling well enough for your workout?" he asks.
"Yeah, I guess," I say.
"Good, it'll keep your energy up. I don't want you two on your usual path so close to Factionless. Lydia will be joining you today. There'll be a vehicle with a patrol keeping you all safe while you jog and your guards will be with you. I hear the five still training have been doing well and they're down there every day," Max explains.
I smile at that and turn to him. "Who told you that?" I ask.
"I've been viewing their progress. What were you planning on doing this week with them?" he questions.
"I was thinking knives and guns. We'll do a little sparring," I say.
He nods taking a bite of his banana muffin. "We'll set up a day next week for them to show all five of us their skills and make a decision," he says.
I nod and continue on my meal. We sit in silence for a minute eating when he finally says, "After our meeting yesterday where you agreed to meet with Evelyn next week, I sent a message to Factionless. Your brother said there was a house he'd been in the week before his Choosing Day where some Factionless man recognized him, said he looked like his mother. I had a guard send a letter to your mom through the man living at that house. He was still there, just as Four said. He took the note to Evelyn and she responded this morning."
I look to Max. Both my guards stopped eating as well, watching this conversation.
"And?" I ask surprised at this.
"And..." he says sighing through his nose. "She agreed to meet us at the border between Dauntless and Factionless. She wants only you, Four, and me there. I told her originally that we would have our own personal guards there for our safety. She doesn't say anything about not bringing security."
"So Lydia, Ryan, and most importantly Eric aren't welcome?" I ask, hurt that my mother is excluding my husband.
"So it would seem," he replies solemnly.
"So much for her being happy for me," I mumble. I'm sure the pain is clear in my voice. I breathe in deeply attempting to let the hurt go.
"I know. She's changed. I guess I could understand the lack of trust for Jeanine but Eric is something completely different," Max agrees.
"When is it?" I ask.
"Tuesday midday," he says.
I nod and push my plate away.