To Save a City (Divergent/Eric) 2 of 3 COH Series

Chapter 1 (Eric's POV)

(Matt Hammitt- 'All of Me')

I watch her, the girl I loved, on her knees in my bathtub. She wipes the tears from her face and looks me in the eyes.  I aim my gun at her head, prepared to do as I was taught.  She sobs but it has no affect on me.  "You are guilty of the crime of Divergence.  You admitted this freely of your own volition.  Divergents are a threat to the faction system and must be eliminated.  You are hereby convicted of your crimes and sentenced to death.  Do you have anything to say for yourself?" I say without any feeling whatsoever.
"Eric... I forgive you for this, always know that, and... I love you," she says with her voice cracking.
"Hosanna, be brave," I say before pulling the trigger.

I jump up at the sound of the gunshot, breathing heavily and covered in sweat.  I have a pain in my chest—like a knot—and a huge feeling of guilt and regret. I put a hand to my head, sitting up and looking around.  It was just a dream... only a dream. 
I rub my chest where the pain is and get out of bed, heading to my bathroom.  Turning on the taps, I splash cold water on my face a few times.  I grab a towel and dry off.  Glancing to my bathtub, I see there's no blood. I didn't kill her.  She's okay.  We're okay.  She didn't leave me. At least, I think she's okay.  I step out of the bathroom and walk to my living room flipping on the light switch.  I start to pace.  Am I really sure she's safe?  And how can she forgive me for what I did?  I don't even forgive myself for doing it.  My Hosanna. What was I thinking? Am I really that far gone?
I grab my keys and the untouched flowers from the counter.  Locking my door, I cross the hall and put her key into the deadbolt.  I turn it slowly unlocking her door.  I step in able to see where I'm going from the moonlight shining in her windows.  I quietly shut the door, locking it. I set her flowers on the counter, making my way back to the bedroom. 
I step in her doorway seeing the moonlight caressing her delicate features.  'Please be alive,' I plead in my head.  I'm reminded of her body laying on the roof after Jacob attacked her—lifeless.  A feeling of dread courses through me.  For a moment, I really believed she was dead.  Until the second I felt her pulse, I really thought he killed her.  That could've been me.  I'm no better than Jacob. 
"Hosanna?" I whisper quietly frowning. 
I hear the sheets shift. Thank God.  "Eric?  Is that you?" she asks.  I'm so incredibly relieved to hear her speaking... her angelic voice. 
"Yes," I say lowly not moving any closer.  I don't want to hurt her.  I love her. I'll never threaten her again... but can she really trust me? I could've killed her just a few short hours ago.
"What's the matter?" she asks sitting up.
I feel like a child admitting, "I had a bad dream.  I'm just making sure you're okay."
She pulls back the covers, inviting me into her bed. I hesitantly walk to the far side of the bed, climbing in, and clinging to her like a child to their mother. I begin to sob, feeling so ridiculous but so relieved she's still alive, still here with me. She shushes me wrapping her arms around my body, rubbing my back and running her fingers through my hair. The movement is soothing and I eventually calm.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks gently still stroking my hair.
I don't respond nuzzling my face in her breast hearing her steady heartbeat. I think that sound is the most beautiful, calming thing I've ever heard. I just listen to that for a moment, soothing my racing, cold, hateful heart. She's just like me; she's no different... just like me.
I eventually get the strength to admit, "I dreamt that I went through with it. I'm so sorry."
She turns my face gently to meet hers. Her beautiful eyes look black in the moonlight yet so concerned for me. There's so much love there. "I already told you I forgive you. Do you not forgive yourself?" she asks softly caressing my jaw.
How can she be like this? She really is amazing—nothing like me. Is this what they're all like?
I shake my head in answer of her question—truthfully. She's always been honest with me. I need to be with her as well. "Can I pray for you?" she says.
I don't know what to say to that. She's never prayed for me, at least not that I know of. It feels kind of selfish to ask. She kisses my lips gently. "How about I pray?  If you don't like what I have to say, you can ask me to stop," she offers kindly.
"Okay," I whisper. She kisses me again, already making me feel a little better.
She places one hand over my heart, where I've had pain since we've returned and the other on my head. She asks her God to forgive me for what I've done, she asks him to help me forgive myself. She asks for me to be comforted and at peace because I've asked for forgiveness. She asks to take away any other barriers there might be and she asks for me to sleep without trouble. She pulls her hands away and I feel a release of pressure in my chest and my mind feels at ease. She kisses me again gently. "I love you," she says.
"I love you," I whisper back. She holds on tightly to me, pulling me closer. I hold onto her content to be in her arms, feeling calmer than I have in so long. I snuggle nearer to her and fall into the most restful sleep of my life.