Tingles Raveng: The Tingling

Chapter 48: Daddy Issues

Chapter 48: Daddy Issues

AN: OH MY GOSH GYS DAT WAS LIKE DA BIGGEST TWIST EVER AND IT WAS ALSO DA MOST ORIGINAL TWIST EVER 2! WHAT A TWEEEEEEEEEEEST! I wish I could take Tim's neck and twist it around so many times that his stupid Asian head falls off. I BET U KANT BELEVE IT IT WAS LIKE SOOOO LIFE CHANGLING! Anyway, some answers will be revealed with dis chopper. It won't be as long, but expect a CRAZY chapter soon enough (probably).

Chaptre Fordyseaven Recap!: Linker huntress down Lynx, day get made at eachother, day get magical anime uniforms, theay sexx, navis they're, BIG FITE, Mellon comes, she gets like totally pissed off, and then she tries to blow up the entire world, I mean, what a bitch, a misterious finger stomps her, ITS TINGLE, LINK AND LINKLE ARE SIBLINGS WHAT, Navi is grassweed oat, and then...TINGLE IS LINK AND LINKLES FATHER OMG WHAT THE HUGEST TWITS AVER WOW!111111111

Chaptre beggin!

"Link, I am your father!"

'WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111" evry1s yelped.

"You remember Zelda's babies from that earlier chapter?" Tingle asked. "Those babies...WERE YOU!"

"Wait, that means..." said Navi, "THAT LINK HAD SEX WITH BOTH OF HIS PARENTS AND HIS SISTER! WHAT THE F*CK WHAT THE F*CK WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK! THIS IS A NEW LOW EVEN FOR THIS STORY, OH MY F*CKING GODDESSES!"

"WOW!" yelled Link and Linkle.

"I fish I nu dat win I secsed wif u!" yeled Lung. "It wilduv ben a loot sexyer if I new dat!"

"I no rite i wanna secant with yooo now!" Longley lunged.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE F*CKING DISGUSTING!"

"Can i call u daddy now?" axed lint.

"Hay daddy du u want 2 have sum funzies!" yyd Twinkle.

"Letz si if u ken take both of us at one's!"

By now Navi was throwing up all over the place.

"Tingle cant beleve Tinlgehas a sun and a Daugherty!" sed tingle "But ting is an EEEEEVIIIILL candybull and he cannot haves da kiddies because he is EEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIL! But...I WILL TAKE LINKLE 2 BE MY GIRLFREND!"

"YAY!" yeleddeed Inkle. "HA LINK TAKE THAT I WILL BE THE REAL HERO BECAUSE IM EEEEVIIIIL 2!"

"wate but I'm elsa evil!" helled link.

"Yah but U SUCK!"

"No u do!"

"No u do!"

"No u do!"

"No u do!"

"Kelm doewn kiddies!" yeled Shingles.

"Hes Wright!" Srta. Linkela habla. "anyway, I don realy luv him, I'm just gooona dait him BEXAUSE I HAT U LINIK U ARENOUT THE HETHAN OF TIM I AM!"

"LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEES!"

"ANywai," sed STingle. "Letz go lukle!" an den day ran of intwo the sonset holding manos.

LATER:

"Master Tingle, are you sure that adding that girl to the team is a good idea?" asked Epona.

"Oh, don't worry. I have it all figured out. It's all going according to-"

"HEY!" someone yelled. And that someone was...Navi! She was pointing a gun towards Tingle!

Without thinking, Epona took out her lightsaber, but Tingle stopped her from taking any further action. "It's okay, I can handle this myself."

The horse hesitated for a second, but then put away her weapon. "As you wish, master."

After Epona left, Tingle was the first to speak. "Hi! Welcum 2 da tingly clubhouse! Tingle tingle koooooloo Limpa!"

"Cut the shit, Tingle. I know you aren't as dumb as you pretend to be. Now tell me, what are your intentions in all this? Do you have some 'master plan' going on?"

Tingle smiled. "Why, of course! Everything that happened in this story is part of my master plan. But it's not like there's anything you can do to stop it."

"What if I shot you?"

"I'd like to see you try. There's-"

*BANG*

Navi gasped as Tingle caught the bullet.

"Man, you should see the look on your face! And I can't believe even you underestimated me so much!"

"But...how did you-"

"Alright, Navi. I feel like you deserve at least a little explanation. You and I are two of the only people with any sense anymore. Actually, it's a lot of fun being a genius in a world of insects. Ever since the Fanfiction Goddesses-"

"Wait, do you-?"

"No, I know just as much about them as you do. But despite my lack of knowledge on the Fanfiction Goddesses, I am very thankful for what they've done. Because of them, I have been awakened. Younger me was a fool, a weakling. I lived in my parents' basement, obsessed with dreams of becoming a fairy. Now I'm an evil mastermind, manipulating all of Hyrule! But one thing that you probably don't know...is that there is some of that fool still in me. Sometimes I hear voices in my head, saying, 'Please...stop! Make it stop! I can't take it...please!' At first I started freaking out when I heard that. I thought, 'What if part of my former self is coming back?' But then I realized something hilarious: part of that annoying younger self is still in there, but he is forced to live with being in the mind of a murderer. He has to live with torturing, killing, and eating hundreds of people, and there is nothing he can do about it! I love that fact, that I can make my younger self miserable! Sometimes I torture and kill people just to make him suffer! Isn't that hilarious!"

Tingle paused for a second, before continuing.

"And do you want to know the funniest part? That means that the same thing is happening to your Link! Link, the hero of time, is stuck inside the body of an insane serial killer! I wonder how he feels in there! The new Link has probably killed more innocent people than I have, and your Link has to live with it! Isn't that hilarious! ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS!" Tingle broke into hysterical laughter, taking a while to calm down. "Man, that's some good stuff. Anyway, my team's probably getting bored without me. See you around!"

Navi just stood there in shock.