silent dream

340 16 4
                                    

Ike tried to keep his composure as the dumb jocks joked around about how horrible their parents were. So they were strict, that made them pricks and assholes? Ike was leaning against the gym breathing hard from having had to run all the way here with short breaths because of his tears. Why was it that people never appreciated what they had until it was gone. He kicked the grass under his feet, green. His dad, his dad wore a green coat and dark green pants... Kyle stopped wearing his green hat after it happened. His mother had repainted all the walls to a dreary beige. She wanted no memory of that dreadful green. Still when Ike thought about Kyle he imagined that hat, and that facetious smile. He didn't think of the Kyle who looked down at Ike with a stern expression, saying no words but, "Don't cry." and laying his heavy hand on Ike's shoulder like a thousand rocks being piled onto him. He couldn't think of that, still as he cried leaning against the gym only the face of that Kyle, enveloped his mind.

His father's smiling face was the last thing he saw, but Ike couldn't help, but imagine it decaying in the floor, thousands of maggots and worms eating the entrails of what must've been his bones. He was spared the tragic image of his father's body since open xasket funerals weren't a Jewish custom but still his imagination filled in the blank spaces.

Ike had done all the steps in mourning for his father, he had torn his clothes, he had believed in an afterlife, he cared for his father, he had done everything but still he felt the gaping hole, and he felt every poke and jam when people spoke of a father, if they asked him, if they looked at him with that certain look that his father had. Maybe it was because he had mourned half-heartedly that he still felt so much of the pain still present. Kyle uncharacteristically immediately picked up all his stuff and moved out a month earlier than expected. Maybe that was why...

Ike tossed a rock into the sky and waited for it to drop. He really didn't know where it went, he heard no plop and after a few seconds of scanning the area he really didn't care. Things did that. They disappeared without a second thought of who got them up in the first place. Hadn't Firkle done that? Hadn't the dumb goth used Ike to stop feeling lonely then just disappeared? The tears felt hot on his face. It was the first time he had really processed that people could disappear without actually leaving Earth. Now Ike was alone, just like he had felt so long ago.

News spread fast in South Park. The morning after the drunk driver had killed Ike's father every single student at South Park Jr. High already knew of the most popular kid's grief. Ike's mother didn't let him go to school though. He was forced to take two weeks off to mourn. He was still going through the process of mourning when Ike got to school. Immediately when he walked in, he heard the whispering of every student, every student talking about him. It wasn't long until finally his best friend Ruby came to his 'rescue'.

"IKE!" She shouted, tackling him. Ike took a few steps back as she hugged him.

"What?" He grumbled. Ruby frowned at him.

"I heard about what happened.... Do you want to talk. I mean it's okay to cry..." He bit his lip at the last part. Cry, he had been crying for two weeks straight. He was tired of it. When did the gut wrenching pain in his heart stop? He didn't want to cry anymore. He wouldn't cry at school he wouldn't cry anymore, period.

"Thanks." He lied and tore away from her. He could feel her eyes burrowing through him as he walked away looking at the floor trying hard not to lash out at the people whispering, at those who said, 'how tragic,' or 'Ike must be devastated' towards someone they didn't even know. The worse thing he heard all day was, 'Why isn't he crying, I'd be crying if that happened to my dad.'

Ike was in art class pondering what anyone could do with the skill of art when someone tapped him on the shoulder. She was a pretty girl Ike had known since third grade, her name was Molly and she usually wore a smile but today she was frowning. "Ike, you're usually so talkative. What's wrong?" Ike doubted that Molly didn't know about his situation, because the WHOLE school knew that his dad had died, and he wasn't going to say that, still Molly stared at him with her huge green eyes expecting an answer.

It's Just High School South Park Next Gen FicWhere stories live. Discover now