Possession (Editing)

Chapter 50

A short filler chapter


"Did you tell him?" Amy asks.
"Hell no. I just suspect. I don't know for sure." I say with a sigh.

"Do you want a child?" Amy asks, trying to search my eyes for an emotion.
With everything that was going on was unfit, it was unstable for a baby.
"I do. But with Andre and Tina. My adoption and then just everything is scattered. Plus my stress levels are through the roof." I say, as I collapse on the bed.

"Well. Maybe it's stress weight." Amy points out.
"We've been having unprotected sex since day 1." I say and the reality is sickening.
He always asked to cum inside me...I always wanted him too...now look!
Coach Carr from Mean Girls was right...don't have sex.

"When my parents were in high school they had sex through their entire four years. Unprotected. My mom never got pregnant. When she was in college she stopped having sex as often and then became pregnant with my brother. Not everyone gets pregnant with unprotected sex." She informs softly.
She was right.
This was bittersweet.

"You just have to take the test to know for sure." She adds.
"Can I come over here tomorrow and take it?" I ask and she smiles and nods. "Of course," she says.
"I've just been so moody lately too..."My voice trails off as the realization hits me almost instantly.
"Face it Ray, you're always moody." She says with a wink.

"I just...I'm scared. I'm not ready to be a mother and Elliot..." I paused and my voice trailed off.
"You're being awfully paranoid. You haven't even taken the test yet or even brought the subject up to Elliot. One step at a time Ray," Amy says with a nurturing smile.
I nod and sigh as I rise to my feet, "Tomorrow." I say, nodding and bid her farewell for now.

Eli sensed me being distant as soon as we got in the car. "You've been acting weird all day. What's wrong?" He asks me trying to look into my eyes.
"Nothing." I say all too quickly. "Can we go see Link again?" I add and he blinks at me curiously.
Wondering what was my motive....when in reality. I was asking the same thing.

Link looked like he was going to have a heart attack when he say me at his front door again for the second time.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you twice in one day?" He says with a million dollar winning smile.
"May I speak to you?" I ask him, as I look back at Elliot in the car.
I told him I wanted quality time and that I'd call him later.
He was objective to the thought of me going alone at first but then he trusted my better judgement.
"Of course you can!" He says defensively and allowed me inside.
His house was large and reminded me of Eli's old penthouse. We walked into the living room and I sat on the love seat across from him.
"What's up?" He asks casually.
I pause for a moment and press my lips together briefly and sigh,



"Did you love my mother?" My question knocks the wind out of him and me to add as well. It was random, out of the blue.
He looks at me with an intense gaze, "With every bone in my body." He replies softly.
I rub my arm and inhale the fresh fragrance in the air. It smelt of vanilla and chocolate. So opposite. But both so addicting.
Man I was hungry.

"How did you two meet?" I whisper with a hoarse voice as if the questions pained me to get out. Which they did.
"Coincidently I was a rebel growing up. I was defiant to more than just the law but my parents as well. I met her by a fountain in Sacramento. She had just been transferred and was about to be let out but only on civil probation." He pauses and smiles at the faint memory and I close my eyes.

What did she look like? Like me? Or not at all.
"Was I planned?" What an odd question. "No, but we were planning on getting married." He replies slowly.
"What happened?" I ask.
"When we gave you up for adoption. It drove her mad. She said you were the only reason she even wanted to breathe anymore. You were the only thing that truly belonged to her. I was a man. I could choose to leave if I wanted too. That's what she suspected. I told her I refused to leave. But she wasn't convinced." He says shaking his head.
In that short moment, I realized how much me and Rayleà were alike. Both wanting something that actually belonged to us.
"You think about her?" I whisper.
"All the time."
We're silent for a moment and I look around on the bare walls. There's no pictures of him or even Andre.
"You haven't found another woman?" I ask notably. "I don't feel the need too." He replies with a shrug.
"So Andre's mom was just a one night stand?"
Link pauses for a moment at my question. "Andre's not my birth son."
I flinch back and look down, "So you gave me up to adopt another?" I spat hurt and his face drops.
"No! Not at all. Look. It's about time you knew. I wouldnt leave you." He says.
"Then why did you?" I whisper
"You're adopted father and I were friends as kids. But once he started to dabble in alcohol he changed. I got mixed up in some things. I owed him so much money and he had so much dirt on me. He wanted a daughter, so badly." He pauses and I already know where this is going.
I feel sick to my stomach. "He threatened to kill your mother and you if we didn't take his son." He says running between his eyes.
"And then gave me to him." I finish in a hushed tone. I looked up at his eyes and they were filled with glossy tears and he just nods.
"But please believe me. I had no idea what his true intentions were before it was too late." He says looking into my eyes for truth.
It made sense how my adopted father told me I was just like my mother.
Mental.
Feeling like I was about to heave over, a rush of relief washed over me as well. Andre wasn't my real brother in any way, shape or form.

We're silent again and I inhale and rub my thighs. "I think I'm pregnant." I suddenly says and his eyes shoot up. "R-Really?" He stutters. His expression unreadable.
"I'm gaining weight and I'm moody and craving peanut butter balls with marshmallows." I say with a sigh.
"Have you told Elliot?" He asks me and I shake my head.
"The timing is just completely and utterly terrible. I don't know if I can do this." I say and shrug,
"Are you think about getting an..." His voice trails off.
"An abortion? Good God no! Never! And I most definitely won't do an adoption agency either. I know that trail and the generational curse and mental torment well end with this baby. If there's a baby..." I mumble silently.

"I think you'll make a fine mother. You have a high paying job and you have your head on straight. After everything you've been through. Especially the last couple weeks. It's impressive." He says with a reassuring smile.

"I'll tell him. I just want to be sure first, just so I won't bring any unwanted tension." I say, nodding.
"Maybe just bring up the thought of a baby. See what he says." Link suggests.
I nod in agreement and look away for a moment.

"Wow." Link mumbles breathlessly.
"What?" I whisper. "I just can't get over how much you look like you're mother." That causes me to pause and look at him hesitantly.
"Why did she kill herself?"

"She just couldn't live here without you in her arms. She reached her breaking point and it just so happened to be when she was walking alone in the woods with a gun she took from me. I was in training as a police officer. Trying to change around my life, in hopes to get you back for us-" I stop him.
"Wait the woods? I thought she jumped off a bridge?" I ask and he blinks back, surprised by my words.
"I never heard that before." He says blinking.
"At the agency that's what it says." I mumble.
"Couldn't be. We found her body." Link says flinching.
"Are you sure she shot herself. Maybe wasn't ...shot?" I question.
"Why would she..." He pauses and I close my eyes. "My adopted father." I guess.

"I'll look into that." He replies and I stand to my feet. "Me too. Tomorrow." I mumble.

"No. You may be with a child, my grandchild. I don't want you stressing in general. As my daughter." My heart flutters and fills together and I look at him.

"You'll stand by me?" I whisper. "Always."
I nod and turn to my feet.

"Leà." He calls out and I turn and look at him.
Was he talking to me.
"I will never abandon you again." Link adds.
Leà. He called me Leà


Elliot was eager to know all of my details when I got home . But I didn't. I was still too stuck on everything.
"You okay, Kitten?" He asks me as I sit on the bed.
"Yeah. Just settling. How are you?" I ask, putting on a soft smile.
"Just worried about you. I have a surprise for you tomorrow by the way?" He asks with a smile.
"What is it?" I ask sitting up quickly.
"Why would you ask that when I said its a surprise?" He asks with a smile.
"Can you give me a hint?" I ask, poking my lip out.
"You'll love it." He says and I roll my eyes .
"I'd love any surprise you'd give me." I point out rolling my eyes.
"Fair enough," he mutters.
We're silent for a moment.
I guess it's time to ask.
"Do you want kids some day?" I ask and his brow furrows.
"Not really. Why?" His reply makes my heart plummet in my chest.

"Why not?" I report back defensively.
"I don't want my kids having the possibility of going through what we went through." He says, frowning.

"But they wouldn't." I defend.
"Why are you pushing this? Are you pregnant?" He asks.
"No!" I shout, uh oh. It wasn't technically a lie but it was the truth either.
I didn't know. "I just don't get why you wouldn't want to bring someone else into the world." I add.

"Bring them? Into this dark, dangerous, manipulative, repulsive world? Filled with magazines telling people how to dress, how to act. All of the blasphemy everywhere! Do you want to bring a precious innocent child into this Hell? This world won't even allow everyone equal rights. I don't want my kids going through this!" He yells.

"They don't have to see that side. You and I might have but we can show our kids the better. Make them want to make a difference. Just because we got molested doesn't mean they will!" I yell.

"Do you want the possibility of out daughter or son. Getting raped? Or touched? Do you want your daughter to feel like anything you did? With your securities?" He questions.

"Don't bring me into this. I want to be the mother I never had. So my daughter won't go through that. You're just too afraid out kids might end up like us!" I practically scream. My blood boiling.
The air was lethal, dangerous.

"Like what? Still fucking broken?" Elliot shouts.
"They don't have to even come close to where we were. I'm not broken. I'm on the road to recovery and you have to cut me some slack because just two damn weeks ago, I was anally raped and scarred. Someone pulled the rug from under me. Put me upside down and shook everything out of me. Drained me of the innocence I had left. Broke me. Shattered me. But look. I'm here. Strong. And our kids could too, without going through what we went through." I end the last part lowering my voice .
"I'm not afraid of that. I'm afraid they'll end up like me." He whispers.
The silence between us is thickening and the room feels like its spinning.

"I don't want kids. I just want you. " he says stepping back.
I sigh and look down and I hear the door close and notice he's left the room.


Leaving me speechless, starving and possibly his child growing in my stomach.



~*~*~*~
Before you go getting mad at Eli. Listen.
When my mom was raped she didn't want a daughter. She didn't even want kids.
But she had my brother and then years after she had me.
She was petrified with the possibility of something happening to me.
Eli is being protective and doesn't want them to go through torment he and Ray went through. Cut him some slack.
It's also weird cause I never thought my book would get to chapter 50!!! But here we are!

Laters slaves
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