Possession (Editing)

Chapter 42

She stares at me, her nose crusted with drugs and her eyes red and bloodshot.

She was high alright.

"Dont- Dont tell Eli." She whispers and I step back. "I cant keep secrets from your son. You have a lot of family issues as it is and so do I. The last thing I need is this on my conscious." I say truthfully. 

She sighs and nods her head quickly. I turn away for a moment and grab her a glass of water. "I understand. I'm sorry I ask too much of you already." She says, her voice growing low and silent.

I sigh and turn around and grab her a glass of water, and she shakily grasps it in her hand. 

"Thank you," She mutters and my eyes cant get off the pile of cocaine on my table!

So that's what people were tripping about?

Ew.

"So when did this all of this start?" I ask, inhaling. Did I really want to know? I was already one foot in, I dont see why not!

She blinks hard and swallows, and wipes her face, "Uhm, well, when I found out my husband was paying for other females to get plastic surgery I suppose. I fell into a really deep depression." She admits and struggles to sit down. 

"Just because he was "paying for other females?" I ask, rolling my eyes. Even though secretly, I knew the truth.

"No. It occured to me that it was more than just him paying for other woman to get breast enhancements. He was having an affair- he was giving himself to another female. Letting someone else touch him and kiss him and take him. Made love to him. Something I should be doing. Another female was calling his name out, whislt I was oblivious to all of it. Then I also noticed- she was young and beautiful. Where did that leave me? Did I no longer attract my husband? Did I no longer appeal to him? What, am I ugly? Am I not beautiful?" She spit the last word out like it was a sin. And I noticed tears had gathered into my eyes. I saw light tears had formed in her eyes as well.

"Do you- know...what it's like to feel ugly all the time?" She whispers. I gape at her and smile and nod my head, "Damn right I do." I breathe silently. She shakes her head and puts her head down,

"So I had an affair too. He made me feel beautiful. Since my husband was never home- I didnt hvave to worry about getting caught. But the man I was sleeping with, he had drugs and he convinced me to try them. Said it would make me even prettier." She pauses and chuckles and looks down, "Jesus, I sound like a immature teenager. But I guess that's the phase I was stuck in. A sweet talking, goodlooking guy throws me a few compliments and Im struck." She says in disbelief. I swallow and she looks down,

"I was going to tell my husband. If I ever became clean." She adds. If? If. That was the word that stuck to me. What, she didnt want to change? Did she want to be clean? "So is that why the doctors didnt tell us anything about you?" I ask and she nods, "I have to go to rehab." She states and looks over at her pile of disgust. "I just wanted one last feel, you know?" She whispers. Knowing damn well I didnt know.

"Honestly Linda, you have to tell Elliot and your husband. Everything. The longer you keep it in, the more damage it will do." I say with a sigh.

"I cant forgive him. Not after he's hurt me. What good what'll do?" She asks and I press my lips together in a thin line, "You have to forgive. No matter what he's done to you. Forgive for yourself, not for him. He's fine, sleeping at night. When you're wide awake in tears. Dont you want to be free? From everything? Drugs, mental chains and all?" I whisper.

She pauses and looks down at her fingers, "Look, I dont know. I'm high, I dont know about anything right now." She says, truthfully and sips her drink and cringes.