Possession (Editing)

Chapter 20

It came to no surprise that Eli had a penthouse, but not just any normal male humble abode penthouse. Like an exotic designer penthouse that dmelt of foriegn fruit and expenive vanilla fragrance. Eli fixed me chicken alfredo and some Italian wine I couldn't pronounce. "Is this place new?" I ask him as he refills my second glass. We're sitting in his living area right by his fireplace. "Yeah, I still havent renovated it that much yet. None of this stuff is mine but honestly I could care less how this place looks." He says smiling at me. I look around at th large grandfather clock across the hall. "Nice place." I mumbled and looked down at my glass. "What's wrong?" He asks me. His question completely took me by shock, he saw my attitude wavering. "What are you talking about?" I ask subtly and sip at my wine. "You avoid eye contact when somethings bothering you. Talk to me." He whispered gently stroking my arm. "Nothing just some silly fax I got kind of freaked me the hell out." I add a laugh at the end to hide how serious I actually felt it was. "Well what did it say?" I pressed my lips together, "Speaking of dirty secrets I know yours." I said, glancing up at him. He frowned immediately, "You got that as soon as you went back to your office?" I nodded slowly and he inhaled. "Ms. Newmort probably." He finalized, nodding his head. I kept my comments to myself. "If anyone finds out about us-" I stop him, "Yeah I know. I lose my job." I say matter of factly. "Well so do I...we just have to be more careful." He says positively. I nod and look down at my drink again. "Why do I feel as though you arent on the same page as me?" He says eyeing me. Oh God here we go. I swallow the rest of my wine and turn for a refill. "Rayleen what are you hiding?" He asks quietly and watches me intently as I pour more wine. "Nothing." I say back all too quickly. "You're practically drinking out the bottle, what are you hiding?" I groan and fill my wine bottle to the top. This subject made me feel like I had to throw up- how coincidental. "Nothing of your concern." I reply hotly. My mind felt like it was already racing and I barely said anything yet. "Im your boyfriend, yes it is. Now stop drinking so much , you barely ate." 

Already feeling bold from the champagne I chuckled. "Why are you laughing?" He asks me angrily . I slam my empty glass on the table. "Barely ate? Bareky ATE? You have no idea." I say covering my mouth to hold back the strange laughter. "You cant hold alcohol worth shit. What the hell are you talking about?" I backed away from him and shook my head. "Nothing. Nothing. Im surprisingly not feeling tonighy. I wanna go home." I muttered a tried to walk towards the door, but it was at a staircase instead. I dropped to my knees, feeling uneasy and lightheaded. "What have you eaten today?" He asks me and I shake my head trying to get away from his arms. "Chicken Alfredo, now leave me alone."  

"We're in my house. Im not leaving you alone. What else have you eaten? Didnt you go out to eat with Amy?" He asks, trying to look into my eyes. "Yeah, but I dont like Red Lobster." I reply groggily. "Damn, do you eat?" He asked chuckling. He was saying it jokingly but I kept my face straight. His expression dropped and he looked at me nervously. "You starve yourself." It wasnt a question. It was out now. He knew."Hardly just that. What? Surprised?" I said with a smirk on my face. " I had nothing to hide now. I mean why not? He swallowed and looked down. "What? Cant bare to look me in the eyes now?" I said humorously. "I dont see why. Look at you-youre beautiful. Youre talented. Youre-"  

"Compliments dont cut it Eli. Okay even if I was complimented..by a hundred guys, thats not goomg to change anything. That's not going to change the fact that when I wake up every single got damn morning I see everything I dont want. I see fat, I see ugly, I see worthless....I see everything." I felt tears in my eyes, a hole in my chest opening. "So me being around isnt working?" I groaned at his ignorance and stood to my feet. "Making me cum a few times doesnt make me feel beautiful. You dont know me." The words were knives to my heart and made my stomach clench together. "You wont tell me anything so how am I supposed to?" He exclaims, raising his voice. I nod my head in a fast pace motion. "You wanna know...you want to know everything? Like how my mom was overweight with her entire marriage. My dad left her and eventually left me cause I was a fat fuck too. He used to starve me every night so id lose weight. Every time hed catch me eating he would...he would hit me. I wanted him to love me so bad, i told him I was trying ..I was. I would do anything to make him happy. He would get his friends to come over...and they would sneak into my room and..." I paused at the vivid flashbacks of strange hands moving under my night dress...strange tongues exploring my innocence. My eyes were blinded by the tears and I choked a sob. Eli's eyes were red and his face looked strained, "Rayleen-"