September 6, 1999
School is all right, I guess. Today is Labor Day so we got it off, even though we just got back. The major thing in my life right now is this:
Scott told everyone that I let him feel my boobs. This is technically true, but... it was outside the shirt and I pushed him away as soon as he did it. So I decided to tell everyone that it was definitely not true.
I was talking to Jacob online a few nights ago and he asked me about it. I denied it, but I could tell that he didn't believe me. About an hour later, I checked Tyler's e-mail, the messages he'd already read. [Gah! Snooping!] There was a message entitled "Convo with Emily" from Jacob. It was a copy of the conversation I had just had with him, and at the bottom, Jacob had written: "Don't believe her. She's lying. Emily's cool, but... she is a SLUT... I don't care how big her boobs are, don't believe her lol - Jacob" [Everyone knows it's much easier to believe someone who has big boobs.]
This made me want to cry, but seeing as I wasn't supposed to be checking Tyler's email, I couldn't very well confront either of them about it. James called right then and, not thinking clearly, I told him what I had just read in Tyler's email. That was a big mistake. Here is a section of the conversation I had immediately afterward with Jacob online:
Jacob: emily...
Me: what?
Jacob: someone told me you were mad at me over an email
Me: the one about how I am a tease?
Jacob: no a different one. an email that wasn't to you
Me: stop it. just tell me what you are talking about
Jacob: I'm talking about the email that I wrote to Tyler that you told James about
Me: that never happened
Jacob: I know it happened
Me: Talk to you later, okay? I have to go
I tried to use an evasive technique. [Er... I don't know if "technique" is the right word.] But the problem is, it didn't work on Jacob. I know he can see right through me.
YOU ARE READING
The UnSlut Project
Non-FictionI was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that my own diary entries could provide some perspective to girls who currently feel trapped and ashamed. I am publishing these entries one at a...