January 7, 1998
Yesterday Zach didn’t say one word to me. We didn’t interact in any way.
Then today I found out he’s going out with Amanda Collins. Zach had told me that he hated her and that he thought she was a slut. I was furious. I also felt sick to my stomach.
In study hall today, Tyler was in my classroom, doing make-up work or something. He asked if we could trade binders and write each other notes on them. I wrote him a stupid one, about how green is a gay color (he was wearing green).
In the middle of writing it, I heard Tyler’s friend Ryan whisper, “Don’t write that!” Only without much emphasis on the exclamation point because Ryan is pretty much always monotone. Tyler whispered back, “Why not?” Ryan said, “Because she’ll show it to all her friends.”
When we switched binders back, I read his note:
Emily,
You’re the weirdest kid I know. There are lots of weird people in my life, but you’re the weirdest. Just kidding. You’re cool… I guess? I have no clue what to write. Oh, I just remembered something I can write. Will you go out with me? I really, really… no I don’t. I had just no clue what to write. Pretty pointless note.
Tyler
So… think he likes me? The thing is, I kind of like him, too.
This is the perfect opportunity to get revenge on Zach. Maybe Zach doesn’tlike Amanda Collins. Maybe he’s just going out with her to make me jealous. Well, I can make him jealous, too.
[Tyler was a perfectly nice, sane boy. What a shame that I mainly saw my flirtation with him as a way to hurt someone else. I don’t remember Ryan, but apparently he used very little vocal inflection.]
YOU ARE READING
The UnSlut Project
Non-FictionI was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that my own diary entries could provide some perspective to girls who currently feel trapped and ashamed. I am publishing these entries one at a...
