The UnSlut Project

You only want to dance with Emily because she's got big... titawkaninnies.

March 23, 1999

Today in the locker room before gym, I was talking to Emma. She is my semi-friend again, I guess. She said, "I was talking to Jacob yesterday and he said he wasn't going to go out with anyone this year. I asked him, 'What about Emily?' and he said, 'Well, yeah, but the only reason I would go out with her would be to get some.'"

I just about cried. The rest of gym class was ruined and I had to face Jacob in Science! I decided not to say anything to him about it. I told James what Emma had said. He was a little bit pissed at me for stealing his seat, but he shook his head and said, "Emma is full of shit." That was reassuring until lunch, when Gina confirmed Emma's story to be true. "He said that," she told me, "But he said it in a joking way. He was only kidding."

Louis came over and asked me, "Do you still like Jacob?" I said, "No. I hate him." [Well that escalated quickly.] He went back to his table, but I forgot to watch and see if he told Jacob.

At about 3:30, the phone rang. It was James, at Jacob's house. He's always the one who asks for me! Jacob must be chicken or something. Anyway, James asked, "Are you mad at Jacob? He wants to know. He's not on the phone or anything. In fact, he's in the bathroom taking a dump." I heard the muffled sounds of Jacob trying to take the phone away, and then James continued, laughing, "No, no, he's right here. But he wants to know if you're mad at him."

I said, "I don't know who to believe." James said, "Emma is messed up. She asked Jacob to dance at the last dance but he said no, because he was getting up the balls to ask you to dance. So Emma said, 'You only want to dance with Emily because she's got big... titawkaninnies.' [Did I spell that correctly?] And Jacob was like, 'No.' And he told her to shut up and walked away."

Then James changed the subject and said, "Jacob says you owe him a kiss from Stacy's part." I couldn't believe he remembered that! That is SO CUTE. Of course I remember it, but guys aren't supposed to remember things like that! Oh wow, he is too perfect.

I was just listening to Wear Sunscreen. I don't know the name of the guy who sings it, but he doesn't really sing, he just talks the whole time and says very deep and meaningful things. My favorite line is:

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

[For the record, the track I was referring to is Baz Luhrmann's 1998 spoken-word version of Mary Schmich's 1997 essay in the Chicago Tribune. Luhrmann remixed it with "Everybody's Free (To Feel Good)" by Rozalla, a song which he also featured in the 1997 film Romeo + Juliet.]