The UnSlut Project

The type of place where you could just sit, smoke a cigarette, and think.

August 13, 1999

Today is Friday the 13th! Oooh! Melanie came over and Scott called. He had Jacob, James, and Steven over and asked if I wanted to do something. I said sure, that we would meet them in town. Now, our downtown is nothing big, but it is spread out over about a mile and a half. I figured we could probably find the guys behind the pizza place.

When they weren't there, we decided to cut through the cemetery and come out beside the church. [Sounds like a good idea on Friday the 13th.] Well, we walked a while into the cemetery and then we saw four guys sitting on the side of the walkway. I thought it was probably Chris Walker and his friends. I tensed up immediately - I didn't want to deal with them and what they might say or do, but we couldn't very well turn around after they had already seen us and probably recognized us. I started feeling like I couldn't breathe well.

Luckily, Jacob called my name from back the way we came, so we had an excuse to turn around and head that way, away from Chris. We sat and talked for about twenty minutes and decided we were bored. So the boys led Melanie and I up behind the school, into the woods. I had never been in there and had certainly never known that they were a short-cut to Starbucks, which they are. [Everything is a short-cut to Starbucks.]

We sat down in the woods and the guys started reminiscing about fights that had taken place there. It seemed like the type of place where you could just sit, smoke a cigarette, and think. [For the record, I have never smoked cigarettes.] We sat there for a while, talking, and then walked to Starbucks. Starbucks has air-conditioning, which was awesome after sitting outside in the 85-degree weather.

James, Scott, and Steven were supposed to be at football practice, but they decided it was stupid and they didn't want to go. It was optional, anyway. Jacob had to drop his bike off at his house, so we decided to just go there to hang out. On the way, Scott and I lagged behind the others, talking.

I said, "I can't wait for the first day of school! I have this whole outfit picked out and I'm going to look so cute." He smiled and said, "How does it feel to know that... when you walk in a room, all heads turn to look at you?" I was so flattered by that comment, and I had to fish for more. "I don't think that's true..." "Oh, come on," he said. "You could just strut in, being like, 'I own the world.'" "Do you think I think that?" "No. But you could, and it would be justified. Whenever you enter a room, everyone stares at you. You didn't notice that?" I said, "Oh. I thought there was something wrong with me. Because people whisper about me." He sighed. "They're whispering about how hot you are. And some of them are probably calling you a slut." [Awesome...?]

In my letter to Stacy, I lied and said I had hooked up with James. He knows I did that, so if she asks, he'll lie, too. I don't know why I did that. He said, "Well, I don't want to have to lie... so why don't we really hook up?" I laughed and said, "James, you're making me uncomfortable." So he stopped talking about it. But I don't know. I don't really like him as anything more than a friend.