You Give Me Fever || Michael Jackson

Chapter 71: I'll Be With The Angels

Man, only ten chapters left! And yes, that includes the epilogue. I'm gonna miss this story once it's over! :(
Buuuuut, it's You Give Me Fever's first birthday today! This time a year ago, I published the very first chapter! :)

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January 12, 1994

Becky's POV

It's been a little over a month since my operation, and I'm doing okay. Admittedly, it's really hard knowing that it's terminal cancer, meaning I'll be dead within a few years ... it's been tearing me apart inside.

At the moment, Michael is at the dentist, having some sort of ... I don't even know, but apparently he'll be in a bit of pain when he gets home, and the drug they've used to keep him out of it has worn off. I think he said he's staying at the dentist until the drug has worn off, so he can drive safely. That's a decent decision, to be honest.

As for the kids, they're at Jasper and Charlie's because they offered to look after them, so I could have some alone time. They've been so sweet to me since they found out about my cancer – everyone has. It's making me realise who really cares for me.

But now I'm bored. There's literally nothing to do, now that everyone has gone out to do something. That's how the majority of my life is now – boring. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that I have things to do, but most of the time, I don't feel like doing them because I spend most of the time thinking about life and making myself sad.

Maybe I could read a book? No ... I probably won't get into it. Perhaps I could play a game of solitaire? No ... I'm not that bored. Or maybe ... I could hear music on Michael's Walk-Man? To be honest, I don't really feel like it.

I know what I could do! I could make another video for Miracle, for her to watch when she's older. I mean, it's not like I'm going to see her grow up, unless some sort of miracle happens to cure my terminal cancer, so ... a video is what I'll make.

Happy with my decision, I stand myself up from the sofa and head up the stairs, to where we keep the video camera – in Michael's bedroom drawer. Once I've gotten the camera, I make my way downstairs again, before entering the living room. A series of possible things to say runs through my mind as I set it up on the coffee table, then once I have, I hit record and sit back on the sofa.

A small, slightly-forced smile forms on my face, "Hey, Miracle. I want you to know how much I love you sweetie. Now listen ... if daddy finds this video before you do, I want him to wait until you're old enough to watch it. By the time you see this, I won't be here any more; I'll be with the angels in Heaven."

A few tears start to gather in my eyes, so I blink them back before continuing, "Uhm ... but maybe by the time you watch this, you'll have someone else to call mommy. I really hope you do, because I want daddy to be happy even if I'm not here. You'll always be in my heart; never doubt that, okay?"

My eyes close as a sigh passes my lips, "Michael ... this part is for you. Baby, words will never say how much you mean to me. I never thought we would get as far as we have, but I'm glad we have. I think you said something along the lines of "You're every wonder in this world to me" on our first date, and ... it's the same to you. It's words like that, that I can't forget.

"Just ... if you don't find this until I'm gone, then I just want to say: never forget me ... please. Of course, you can find another girl and be happy with her, but ... I want you to remember me, always. Never forget the fever we have for one another."

I have to stop talking, because I become choked up with tears all of a sudden, causing me to swallow hard and blink rapidly. My God, this is so hard for me. You can never really judge this kind of thing until you're living and experiencing it. It's giving me so much emotional pain.