You Give Me Fever || Michael Jackson

Chapter 69: Calm Down

December 5, 1993

Michael's POV

So ... today's the day of Becky's operation. No words can describe how nervous I am; for me, for her ... for everyone involved in this. I just pray to God that the operation will be successful, and that the cancer can be removed.

Right now, me and Becky are at the hospital. We've been here a lot lately; what with check ups and meetings with the cancer support nurse. It's been quite an ordeal.

Becky's putting on a brave face; I can tell. Something in me is saying that she's mentally dying, but she has a faint smile on her face, obviously trying to appear calm. I know she's not.

"You know it'll be okay ... " I assure her softly, "Have you ever had an operation before?"

She exhales, "No ... never. Do they hurt, Michael? It sounds like a ridiculous question, but does any part of it hurt at all?"

The genuine concern in her eyes breaks my heart, so I take her hand and rub her knuckles gently, to give her a little comfort, "Sweetheart, I can assure you that you'll feel nothing. Maybe after the operation, you'll feel a little fatigued, but apart from that, you should be okay, providing all goes well—"

"Providing all goes well?" she cries, "You mean to say it could all go wrong?!" she asks in a panic.

"Hey, hey, calm down Becky. Operations to remove cancer ... they're just different to other operations. Each patient is different, like the nurse said, remember? Chances are, it'll be a complete success, so you'll be okay. Just think of the best outcomes, not the worst, okay?" I calm her down with my words, "Now ... you'll be going down for your operation in about five minutes, so you'll need to keep calm okay? Deep breaths, sweetheart, deep breaths ... "

She breathes slower than before, closing her eyes and tilting her head back a little bit to steady her nerves, "I just want this nightmare to be over, Michael ... " she whimpers, "I swear, I'll never take normal health for granted ever again if I get cured ... "

A sigh escapes my lips, as I rub her knuckles once more, "Gosh, I wish it were that easy, I really do ... but sadly it isn't. We can't just make a wish, and hope that it'll come true ... that's why you need to stay positive. Maybe it'll happen if you remain positive," I answer.

The nurse then enters the room, "Miss Summers, we're ready to take you down," she says invitingly.

At that moment, Becky starts to panic a little. I know why – it's because she's worried about being put to sleep, and the fact that the operation might not work. It's completely understandable – I'm feeling nervous about it, too.

"Sweetie ... calm down. Panicking won't do you any good," I tell her, taking her into my embrace, "Just ... shh ... calm down ... " I repeat my little mantra to her, stroking her hair gently and shushing her softly to soothe her, "Shh ... shh ... calm down ... " Once she's calmed down a little, I sit opposite her, looking her deeply in the eyes, "Now look. You'll be just fine, okay? I'll be staying at the hospital the entire time. I won't be leaving at all. If you want me, I'll come as soon as I can."

She nods, shaking somewhat violently from anxiousness, "Please don't leave," she begs, "Please Michael, please don't leave the hospital ... "

Seeing her in this state breaks me. The pain she must be bearing is simply unimaginable to me. I'll never be able to see it the way she does.

"I can promise that more than I ever promised anything, sweetheart. I'm gonna be here the entire time," I answer after a few moments silence between us.

"Miss Summers," the nurse presses politely.

Becky nods at the nurse, before turning to look at me, "I'm going to have to go ... " she states weakly.