Second Chances. (WATTY AWARDS 2013)

Chapter 95: Pictures and Some Memories.

Chapter 95: Pictures and Some Memories.

Warped Tour ’03.

It’s tough living on a tour bus with five people but it’s really hard to do it when there’s seven people, six ‘adults’ and one child, but we make-do with what we have. Bailey, Val, Michelle and Kier are in a camper van driving behind us. Peasnie wasn’t able to be in there with them because she was far too happy in the bus with us. I’m so happy Peasnie is here with me for a while. She’s an inspiration to me. She’s the reason why I’m doing this; I want her to have a good life. I’m no good at anything else but making music, so I’m going to use it to provide for her. And she thanks me by being happy.

It was going on nine o’clock and we’ve been watching movies most of the day and evening. Brian was driving now but I’ll be driving soon. But for now I sat on the couch with Peasnie lay across my lap and in my arms with her head on the arm rest. Every once in a while I’d catch her eyes swinging open as she tried to stay awake. Peasnie was already in her PJs which was an over sized tee shirt; one of our band merch shirts. She’s got a few of our shirts and other merchandise. I smiled and perched her up right so I could stand up.

“Alright, I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” I told her and unlike every other night she didn’t protest. She just held her arms up so I could pick her up from the couch. Her arms and legs wrapped around me and she rested her head on my shoulder. I’m surprised I can still pick her up. I took Peasnie to the bathroom and sat her on the edge of the sink so I could get the hair brush and hair elastic. I brushed her long blonde hair before braiding it and tied it with the elastic. I was rather happy Val taught me how to braid because now Peasnie’s hair can still be wavy and curly; the way I like it. When I finished with her hair I got out her purple tooth brush and put some tooth paste on it. She took it from me and opened her mouth. Peasnie’s six years old, she knows damn well how to brush her own teeth.  She leaned over to her side and spit the now foaming paste out. She rinsed out her mouth and wiped her mouth on the wash clothe.

“Do you need to go before I put you to bed?” I asked curiously. She nodded so I put her on the floor and she went to the toilet to do her business. When she finished she washed her hands and dried them. I picked her back up and carried her to the only bunk with a safety bar on it, which was mine. Usually she sleeps in the back with Val but lately she’s been sleeping with me and since she goes to bed before I do I get paranoid that she’ll fall out and get hurt even though she’s always jumping from up there. I’m still worried that she’ll fall and land on something one of the guys left down. Yes I get it she’s six years old but it still makes me paranoid.

 I hoisted her up there; she was now taller than me. I stepped up onto the bottom bunk so I could tuck her in. She snuggled down into the bed and cuddled her stuffed bear. Peasnie looked at me with tired eyes but she looked wide awake. She grabbed onto my shirt tightly and gave me a blank expression.

“Daddy, can you sing me a song?” She asked with a weak voice. I smiled and nodded at her as I thought of a song to sing. I know that this could possibly change things but it’s the only song that is in my mind right now.

“Never feared for anything, never shamed but never free

A life that healed a broken heart with all that it could

Lived a life so endlessly, saw beyond what others see

I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could

Will you stay? Will you stay away forever?
How do I live without the ones I love?

Time still turns the pages of the book its burned