Second Chances. (WATTY AWARDS 2013)

Chapter 46: Come Together.

Chapter 46: Come Together.

A couple days later we were able to take Peasnie home, she wasn’t too pleased with the idea of not being able to run around; neither was I but she needs those nerves to heal so she’ll be in a wheel chair for six months until she start physiotherapy then she’ll still be in the chair but she’ll be able to use crutches as well. She’s determined to be able to walk within three weeks of starting physiotherapy; I believe she can do it. Bailey was already home with Kier, the guys and girls are there also. They wanted to help Bailey make the house wheel chair accessible.

I still felt horrible about what I did a few days ago, wishing to not start Peasnie’s life. How could I do that? It was like I was completely shit faced but I could still think clearly. I felt horrible about saying that. Peasnie hasn’t spoken much; well to me at least. Honestly I don’t blame her. I’d ignore me too. I’m furious at myself for all those things I’ve said.

Driving from L.A seemed to take forever. It was an overly warm day; thirty degrees is what the forecast said. The sun was shining brightly near the horizon; it was just after seven in the morning. Peasnie seemed to enjoy that fact that I went to Tim Horton’s; I knew those coffee shops are usually in Canada but there’s one in L.A. She enjoyed the French vanilla latte I got her while I just had my usual; coffee.

She sat in the front seat with the cup in her hands; she stared out the window thoughtfully. She was deep in thought which is rarely ever good on my part. I kept my eyes on the road though even though I wanted to just stare at her appearance; she’s so different. It’s astonishing how much someone can change in two years. I saw her head swivel into my direction.

“Dad,” She whispered to me. I glanced at her quickly before dashing my gaze back to the overly busy road ahead. Damn traffic.

“Yes?” I mumbled. Peasnie hesitated slightly, biting her lip. Her gaze fell from my face to her lap momentarily before moving back up to see what my reaction will be when she says what she needs to.

“Were you happy when I was gone?” She asked hesitantly. I felt angry at her for even thinking that. I can’t believe she’d ask me such a question. I swallowed all the misery and shook my head, trying to figure out what I was going to say. I knew what the point was but I didn’t know how I was going to put it. I wanted to cry so badly but I can’t, I won’t.

“Do you know how it feels to let go of someone you really love for a long time just so they can be happy?” I asked with a steady voice. Peasnie nodded and looked down into her lap. The void that ripped through me at one time came back and I felt emptied by the memory. Peasnie looked up at me and sighed.

“It hurts. You’re not yourself and you’re never gonna be yourself until they come back. You want to cry all the time but you know that if they’re happy you should be too because that’s the whole point of loving someone, is to make them happy.” She put how I felt into words perfectly. That’s one of the amazing things she can do that leaves me speechless. Peasnie stopped speaking and she thought for a moment while we were stuck in morning traffic. Her eye brows knitted together as she thought before she looked at me with a sincere expression.

“You let me go so I can be happy?” She asked curiously. Bingo, she finally got it. I didn’t want to let her go but I wanted her to be happy. And with how Rosie’s living now, she can have everything she’s ever wanted without compromise. I nodded in response and shyly smiled from the corner of my mouth. Peasnie shook her head in confusion.

“Why? Didn’t you think I was already happy?” She questioned me.

“Your mom could give you more than I could. You could get everything you wanted.” I told her flatly. Peasnie shook her head again and frowned.

“I don’t need things to be happy, I need people. I need Bailey, Kier, grandma and grandpa, my aunts and uncles and most importantly I need someone who’s been there from the very start, which is you.” She told me sincerely. “-I need you dad.” She added. That’s one of the many moments where I know that my parenting is right; she knows what her priorities are and family is number one, always. I couldn’t help but smile at her compassion and love for people who love her. I know this’ll sound slightly mean but in a way Peasnie’s like a puppy; you show her simple acts of affection and she’ll spend the rest of her life being loyal to you. 

Our conversation turned to what her life was like in Portland, Peasnie told me she was sent to an all girls private school and was put of a strict routine and diet. She wasn’t allowed to have male friends. Rosie was paranoid about her getting pregnant at a young age because teen pregnancy influences about 60% of their kids. She had to play the piano and violin which isn’t bad because now she can place a few instruments. She had to be a certain size so no junk food. Basically she lived the complete opposite life then she already was. So one night she got up, packed her things, stole her mom’s credit card and left. She walked to the nearby gas station, dyed her hair in the bathroom and then cut it. She knew that there was a bus stop nearby that could take her to the bus station and from there she came here. Basically what she did last time. I don’t know if I should be proud, last time she ran away she was fourteen this time she was eight. She should’ve called me and I would be up there in a heart beat. But she’s safe and that’s all that matters.  

When we arrived back at the house they had a banner outside that said ‘welcome home Peasnie!’ It was homemade with paints. Everyone was waiting outside on the porch while Kier was playing in the grass. He instantly recognized my car pulling into the drive. Peasnie smiled widely as Kier got up and came bolting towards the car, Bailey ran after him and scooped him up before he could get to the car though. Peasnie looked at me with a wide grin.

“Kier’s gotten big.” She obviously remarked. I nodded in agreement. She hasn’t seen him in two years and four months. Last time she saw him he was four months old so of course he’s gotten big. The guys instantly came over and took her bags from the trunk and wheel chair from the back seat. I had to carry her in but I don’t mind, neither did she because her little friends that lived down the street came peddling down our street. We don’t live far from our old home, a two minute walk and it’s a five minute walk to PCH.

The small group of kids hung around on the front porch as I took her inside and set her down on the recliner. Bailey let them come in to see Peasnie but they were all gobsmacked by what they were seeing.

“So the rumors are true.” Her friend, PJ stated with a cautious tone. Peasnie flashed a quick smile and nodded.

“Peasnie, we’ve missed you so much.” Lucas told her. Peasnie’s face lit up like a red light with blush.

“I’ve missed you guys too.” She told them proudly. And just like that they were filling her in about what’s happened in the last two years and she was making sure they knew about what her life was like in Portland. Each of them had something to say about her leaving. But soon they had to go considering they weren’t technically supposed to be here but they just had to see if the rumors were true. Peasnie said Good-Bye to her friends for today and they left. Now it was just family over. Kier was all too eager to crawl onto the chair with her. He never left her side for the duration of the day. They actually looked like siblings but what made me see exactly how much alike they are to me was when Peasnie started to tell Kier the story of the little star. She was very protective of that story and by her telling Kier that story made me feel like the storm was finally over.