Second Chances. (WATTY AWARDS 2013)

Chapter 57: The Drummer's Daughter.

Chapter 57: The Drummer’s Daughter.

I hesitated outside the room. My mom and dad tried to pep talk me into the room but nothing worked. Since we’ve gotten here I’ve been sick twice and had three panic attacks. Those aren’t fun. I just gotten over my most recent panic attack but I was still really nervous about all this. I’m about to become a dad. My daughter is about to be born, the mere thought of having that little child in my arms soon was dizzying. I had to swallow everything and go in there. Rosie needed me. Peasnie needed me.

I inhaled deeply and joined the rest of my family. Rosie looked like she was in pain as she lay there in the bed, with wires and tubes running into her arms. I tried not to hover nervously in the door way but it was scary. She looked like she was tired and she’s been ill. Her hair was tied up messily in a messy bun. Her face was as white as the bed sheets while her eyes were sunken in and darkened. Her lips were pail and chapped. But instantly her face lit up when her gaze fell to me. I sheepishly smiled and gave her a little wave as I hovered in the doorway. What was I supposed to do? I’m not sure how to comfort her right now. Do I tell her she’s doing well? Do I say she’s beautiful and I’m still madly in love with her?

I knew there were things we needed to talk about before she was born. I know that for a fact. And she did too. An unsettling feeling stirred at the pit of my stomach, I wasn’t having another panic attack but it was a disturbing feeling. Something was going to happen, and it was going to be big. It made my bones shake and my stomach turn while my heart beat quickly inside my chest. I slowly breathed in and out deeply.

Rosie stirred in the bed, trying to sit up but her mom tried to tell her to keep still. Rosie was really stubborn and that’s one trait I wouldn’t mind Peasnie inheriting. It’ll be a handful but it’ll be a good trait for the future for her standing for things she believes in. I smiled sheepishly at her as she sat up in the bed with a calming smile. Her gaze ran across the room.

“Can I have a moment with Jimmy?” She asked sullenly, her voice was weak and tired. Our parents nodded and left the room quickly and quietly. I was left alone with Rosie for the first time since the summer. I wasn’t very comfortable with this but if she needs to talk to me, then I guess she needs to talk to me. I shoved my hands in my jean pockets and tensed my shoulders slightly. Rosie sighed heavily and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered softly. My head propped up with wide eyes. Did she just say she was sorry? Rosie actually apologized for something. She’s so stubborn; she never says she’s sorry for anything. She must be feeling really bad. I swallowed hard and nodded. I didn’t know what she was sorry for but I’m sure she must really mean it.

“It’s okay.” I muttered.

“No, no. It’s not okay. I was a bitch. I want to be apart of this baby’s life.” She announced suddenly. I was left breathless. Rosie is actually taking responsibility for this?

I smiled shyly and went over to her side, taking her hand in mine gently. Her skin was soft and warm. The smell over lavender lingered off her skin gently. I shivered slightly in delight. She smiled at me lively. Her smile still captivates me. I love it; it puts a spell on me. The way her lips felt against mine drove me mad. They were so soft and warm, fermilure. They were sweet, like cherries. I know I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I fell for her spell again, now I’m cornered. I can’t get out and I’m under her spell. I don’t know why I love her but I do. She may have cheated on me and lied to me but I still love her. Why? Why am I attracted to the one person who can bring me to my knees? When I pulled away, I instantly felt like I had the whole world in my finger tips. We’re going to be a family, a proper family. I smiled slightly and blushed.