Who will I be, Jesse St James

034. BIRDS AND THE BEES

Chapter thirty four
"Birds and the bees."

Sitting in the choir room, this strange rumor was going around about how Artie got Britney pregnant as Mr Schuester walked in the room "all right, folk. Regionals is in a week, it's time to get deep into our setlist." he told them but then noticed Artie's face as Caroline sat next to him trying to comfort him "Artie, are you okay?" he asked "my life is over. How am I supposed to support a baby?" Artie asked as he looked to Britney "how could you not tell me about this?" he asked her "wait. Britney, are you pregnant?" Mr Schuester asked her "definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't wanna upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off." Britney told them.

And when she did, Caroline brought her arm from around Artie "what?" she asked, furrowing her brows "I'm pretty sure it's a boy." Britney told them "um, babies don't get dropped off." Puck shared "Britney, have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure." Mr Schuester told her "I don't need to go to the doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago, a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid, it's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from." Britney shared, in which Caroline leaned toward's Artie "you're all good, dude." she told him, standing up and going to her original seat.

Although with all of lot, Caroline didn't expect Mr Schuester to come into glee club the next day and right sexy on the board "sexy." he told them all "I really hope that's not a requirement for regionals. Because with Berry in those tights, we don't stand a chance." Santana shared "no this isn't about regionals. I'm less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that, it's become clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the..uh, the intricacies of adults relationships." Mr Schuester shared and as some laughed "why are you telling us this?" Caroline asked him "because along with preparing for our regional, next week, I wanna spend the week educating ourselves on some of these intricacies." mr Schuester shared.

"Is this the appropriate place forum for that?" Rachel asked "look, whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it. So, this week I've invited a special guest. Ms Holiday." Mr Schuester shared as a women with long blonde hair and wearing all black walked in as many of them cheered "hola, clase." Ms Holiday told them all "oh, no, it's the salad lady." Mercedes told Caroline as Caroline's eyes went wide "let me guess, the crazy substitute?" she asked "ah huh." Mercedes told her "okay. So, sex. It's just like hugging only wetter." Ms Holiday told them all "yeah, it is." Artie said "okay, let's start with the basics. Finn?" Ms Holiday asked, walking over to him "is it true you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?" she asked him.

"I have always been dubious." Finn shared as Mr Schuester slammed his hand down on the piano, Ms Holiday walked down to the right, going up to Britney "and Britney, you think storks bring babies?" she asked "I get my information from woody woodpecker cartoons." Britney told her as Mr Schuester then slammed his elbow on the piano "and then I heard one of you had a relationship with an older boy.." Ms Holiday shared, looking around almost for who it could be, and as she did, everyone looked to Caroline, who sat there frozen, as Ms Holiday looked in the direction everyone else was and saw Caroline, and smirked, which made Caroline shrink further into her chair, where Mr Schuester then slammed the piano shut at that.

"Well, that's gonna all gonna end right here right now because today we're gonna get under the covers, all together, and get the ditty on the dirty." Ms Holiday told them as she backed up to the middle of the room "I'm so turned on right now." Puck said, as Sam was looking across the way seeing how awkward Caroline felt "uh, what about those of us who choose to remain celibate?" Rachel asked "oh, well, I admire you. Although I think your naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice." Ms Holiday shared "I think this is a good time for a song." Mr Schuester told her "oh, yeah. Okay." Ms Holiday said "okay." Mr Schuester told her, getting up from the piano bench and going to find a seat "rule number one. Every intimate encounter that you're ever gonna have is gonna start with a touch. Hit it!" Ms Holiday said as the band started playing.