✓ KISS TO KILL | JAKE

38-guilt and kisses

38-guilt and kisses

Jake stood there, his eyes darkened by a mix of sadness and anger. The weight of guilt consumed him, and he couldn't help but blame himself for not being there when Y/N had the accident. It felt as though he had failed in his role as her protector, and the thought tore at his heart.

"I'm sorry," Jake said, his voice filled with remorse as he looked at Y/N lying in the hospital bed. The words felt inadequate, unable to truly express the depth of his regret.

Y/N's eyes widened with surprise, confusion evident on her face. "Why are you sorry, Jake?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," Jake admitted, his voice trembling with self-blame. He stood beside her bed, feeling the weight of his shame press upon him. He then made a decision and slowly knelt down, closing the distance between them. However, he refrained from touching her, as if he believed he didn't deserve that privilege.

Y/N's voice was filled with tenderness as she tried to ease his guilt. "It's not your fault, Jake," she assured him, her eyes filled with understanding and love.

Jake hesitated for a moment, his eyes still fixated on Y/N's face. "Does it hurt?" he asked softly, his gaze locking with hers. He wanted to share her pain, to bear some of the burden she carried, as if by doing so, he could alleviate his own anguish.

Y/N nodded, her grip tightening around his hand. "A little bit," she admitted, her voice tinged with a mixture of physical and emotional discomfort.

Jake's voice trembled as he continued, his fingers gently tracing the scars that marred her arm from the accident. He hated the sight of them, a constant reminder of the pain she had endured. "Can I touch you?" he asked, his voice filled with a mix of longing and trepidation.

Y/N nodded once again, her trust in him unwavering. "Yes, Jake," she whispered, her voice holding an undercurrent of vulnerability.

Jake began to touch her, his fingers exploring her face with utmost care, ensuring that he didn't cause her any discomfort. With each gentle caress, he committed every inch of her face to memory, as if trying to etch her presence permanently into his mind.

"Can I kiss you?" Jake whispered, his voice filled with a mix of desperation and longing.

A soft plea escaped Y/N's lips, her response filled with equal yearning. "Please do."

Their lips met in a kiss filled with a mixture of love, longing, and unspoken apologies. In that fleeting moment, the world faded away, leaving only the intensity of their connection. Jake's heart swelled with both joy and sorrow as he pulled away, his voice heavy with emotion. "I missed you," he confessed, his words carrying the weight of their separation.

Y/N's voice was filled with equal longing as she whispered, "I missed you too."

A knock on the door shattered the intimate moment, causing Sunghoon to enter the room. He stood at the doorway, his presence a reminder of the world outside their cocoon of emotions.

"Hope you're feeling okay, Y/N," Sunghoon greeted, his voice filled with genuine concern.

Jake's gaze hardened as he directed his attention towards Sunghoon. His anger flared, fueled by a mix of guilt and resentment. He blamed himself for not being there when Y/N needed him most, and seeing Sunghoon only served as a painful reminder of his absence.

Without a word, Jake rose from his kneeling position, his eyes locked onto Sunghoon's. The air in the room grew tense as the two men silently communicated their emotions. Sunghoon, sensing Jake's turmoil, stepped forward cautiously, his voice filled with empathy.

"Jake, I understand your guilt," Sunghoon began, his tone sincere. "But please know that Y/N and I are friends. I was there for her in a moment of need, just as you would have been."

Jake's fists clenched at his sides, his anger threatening to consume him. He struggled to find the right words, torn between his desire to protect Y/N and his need to confront his own shortcomings. Eventually, his voice trembled as he voiced his inner turmoil.

"I know," Jake admitted, his voice heavy with regret. "But that doesn't change the fact that I failed her. I should have been there, by her side, protecting her from any harm. Instead, I let her down."

Y/N's eyes filled with tears as she witnessed the anguish in Jake's expression. She reached out, her touch a gentle plea for understanding and forgiveness. "Jake, it's not your fault," she spoke softly, her voice filled with love. "Accidents happen, and we can't always control the circumstances. What matters is that we're together now, and we can face this challenge as a team."

Sunghoon nodded in agreement, his eyes reflecting compassion. "Y/N is right, Jake," he added. "Blaming yourself won't change what happened. What's important is how we move forward from here."

Jake's anger began to wane, replaced by a sense of resignation. He realized that dwelling on the past would only hinder their progress. With a deep breath, he looked at Y/N, his gaze softened by a mix of sorrow and determination.

"You're right," Jake admitted, his voice filled with a newfound resolve. 

Sunghoon quietly left the hospital room, giving Jake and Y/N the space they needed to process their emotions. His departure brought a momentary lull in the room, allowing the weight of their conversation to settle between them.

Y/N's voice, despite her pain, carried a touch of playfulness as she teased Jake. "You're still jealous of Sunghoon?" she questioned, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Jake's eyes flickered with a mixture of amusement and longing. Even in the midst of their struggles, Y/N's ability to inject lightness into their conversations never failed to captivate him. "That I am," he admitted, a hint of a smile gracing his features. "I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy whenever he's around."

Y/N's hand reached out, her fingers gently brushing against Jake's cheek. "You have nothing to worry about," she reassured him, her voice filled with affection. "You hold my heart, Jake. No one else comes close."

Jake's heart fluttered at her words, his gaze locking with hers. The love that radiated between them was undeniable, and yet, moments of vulnerability still lingered, threatening to overshadow their connection.

"I just... I wish I had been there," Jake confessed, his voice heavy with regret. "When you had the accident, I wasn't there to protect you. It tears me apart inside."

Y/N's touch grew tender, her fingers tracing the contours of Jake's face. "Jake, accidents happen," she reminded him, her voice filled with empathy. 

Jake nodded, his eyes filled with gratitude for Y/N's understanding and compassion. Her words offered him a glimmer of solace, soothing the self-inflicted wounds that plagued his mind. He leaned into her touch, savoring the warmth and reassurance it brought.

"I don't deserve you," Jake whispered, his voice laced with a mix of love and humility. 

Y/N's expression softened, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "You don't have to prove yourself to me, Jake," she replied, her voice filled with tenderness. 

As the hospital room buzzed with the sounds of life outside, Jake and Y/N found solace in the comfort of each other's presence. In that moment, they realized that love was not just about the absence of pain and struggles, but rather the unwavering support and resilience they found in one another.

the embrace that followed, Jake and Y/N sought solace and strength in each other's arms. Y/N made room for him to sit beside her, allowing him to envelop her in his protective embrace. They held onto one another, finding comfort in the warmth of their shared love.

As the night drew its curtain over the world, they lay together, seeking solace in the blissful escape of sleep with one thing roaming her mind how she will tell him about their baby.

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comment down your thoughts, btw i was writing now chapter 43, and i was like what  the heck am i doing i was planning to end this book at 40 chapters now- its 50- this book still has more angst-