Roulette // Chishiya x Banda // alice in borderland

Fifteen

It didn't feel as good to be with friends again. If only he knew why.

"Is everything okay? You don't look good. Is it about Kuina?" Usagi crawled inside Chishiya's tent with a worried expression.

It was a pretty night, with stars shining so intensely they lit up the entire sky down to horizon. The temperature was a bit low, but with a campfire and a small tent Chishiya couldn't really feel the coldness. He really was thankful for what Arisu and the rest brought for him - he only wished he could appreciate it more.

Thinking about Banda made him sick. Chishiya stayed there, all comfortable, while Banda was most likely in a dying state right then, somewhere. If not already dead. His heart felt heavy and on the verge of breaking into pieces. He'd never felt so guilty towards anyone before so that kind of disgusted him, in a way.

It was a sleepless night for him and seeing Usagi awake caught him off guard.

"Kind of" Chishiya sighed in response. He never really bothered opening up in front of anyone, so it felt weird - receiving questions of that sort. "I've met someone who helped me out earlier but then I just left them behind, injured."

"Why?" Usagi looked deeply surprised. "We've got space for more people here."

"Some things happened and I don't think they could stay with us. I'm just thinking maybe I should be looking for them now."

"That's what Kuina did, for you. And she wasn't very succesful, as you can tell." Usagi sat next to him, staring into the fabric of a small green tent. "I think you know it's dangerous to split, so maybe it's better to assume they're going to be alright eventually. Also, you wouldn't want to leave at night anyway, would you?"

Chishiya nodded slowly. How would he search through Tokyo in a complete darkness? It sounded like a mad idea even during the day. Why would he want to leave his friends and a safe shelter for someone who tried and would still try to kill him anyway?

Was it worth to look for Banda if the only reason he even cared for Chishiya was because of his desire to play a final game together?

"I'll think about it" he said after a short pause.

"If you decide to leave I'll prepare you some things to take with. Just promise to wait at least until morning." Usagi crawled out of the tent and whispered a quiet "goodnight". Chishiya wondered if it was really that visible that something was wrong.

He laid down on a sleeping bag, looking at the sky through a transparent tent ceiling. Wherever Banda was, it made him feel better to know they were laying under the same moon right then. Maybe Banda managed to escape and find a good place to hide. Maybe he was sleeping, safe and sound.

Why do I think about it so much.

Chishiya didn't get much sleep, but it was probably the most he could've had in his current condition. He realized Usagi was probably right; Banda wasn't stupid and could easily survive on his own. That was how he lived through Borderland most of his time anyway, from what Chishiya remembered at least. There was no need to worry about him. Chishiya had his own friends to take care of and protect, if needed.

Despite those thoughts for the next two days Chishiya was insanely anxious. He enjoyed late night talks with his friends, as well as cheering for Ann when she had to join a game mid day. It felt good to spend time with people he could trust. At the same time he didn't want anything else other than to run as far as he could, searching every corner of the nearest woods. He warned everyone about Niragi, not mentioning Banda even once. The guilt was more than what he could really stand.

Another morning started quite early, with Arisu preparing some onigiri and canned pineapple for breakfast. The smell of food was what could wake Chishiya up from the deepest sleep, and it did once again, succesfully. He tried not to think about delicious, warm meals he shared with Banda just a few days back.