Infatuated with a God

Chapter One-Hundred and Thirty-Two

It was the early afternoon before I finally let my seiðr fade away from around her, letting her naturally wake with the afternoon light. She smiled slightly as she began to stir, stretching her body out and turning into the light. For that brief moment, before the shit conversation I knew we had to have, I allowed myself to smile with her. To relish in her beauty in the way the light of the sun made her hair glow and how her half-asleep self subconsciously sought me out, leaning towards the dip in the sofa where I sat beside her. Unable to help myself, I reached my hand out to her cheek, letting my fingers run over the soft skin there. With a wider smile she moved her head to meet my contact.

"Good morning. Or I guess, more accurately, good afternoon." I corrected myself as she finally opened her eyes. As I expected she groaned at the realisation that most of the daylight hours she had been asleep but given that the darkness under eyes had faded drastically and that there was more colour in her face I would happily face those consequences. At least she was rested.

"Fuck, what time is it?" Eventually, she began to sit up and I moved back into the space now void of her legs, before bringing her legs back over my lap and trying to place myself as close to her as possible. She soon got the hit, shuffling onto the fabric to allow me closer access to her as I responded.

"Around 4pm. You should go get ready, Stark should be here soon." That's what I said, but I still kept her legs trapped by one of my arms as I let the other smooth over a particularly wild section of hair.

"Gods, that is not a conversation I'm looking forward to." I couldn't help but smile at her phrasing. Over time she'd become so much more accepting to our terminology, amalgamating our culture within her speech. It was such a small change, but one that made my heart sing. A sign of wider acceptance of the life I was hoping she'd still choose to have with me. Before I could tease her with it though, she voiced the concerned thoughts that caused her smile to falter. "Have you slept at all, my love?" It was too soon to have such a conversation. I wasn't ready for the relaxed, beautiful moment to fade so soon. I wanted more peaceful moments with her, I wanted to see her smile for a while longer. I didn't want the hurt and pain I knew the conversation would cause.

"Too much to think about. Don't worry ást, it isn't my first sleepless night." I leant over and kissed her between her eyebrows in an effort to vanish the worried crease forming there. Neither my words nor actions helped her to move on from the conversation.

"I don't like the thought of you not letting yourself rest, Loki." Without being able to stop myself I took a sharp breath out of my nose in frustration. If she truly cared about my rest right now, we wouldn't be on Midgard. How did she expect me to sleep when we knew people could be after her? Did Hydra and Barnes cause her to hit her head so hard she failed to be logical? No, she's never been truly logical about such issues.

"Vision didn't sleep, Kaya. It was the only reason I did. If you want me to sleep that bad you'll come back to Asgard in the evenings." When she visibly stiffened beside me, I moved away from her slightly with a sigh, giving her room to leave. The hand I had rested over her legs, I brought up to pinch the bridge of my nose in order to relieve some of the tension I felt but also as a distraction from my anger. I didn't want to be angry with her, it didn't solve anything. Still, she could attempt to make it easy for me for once.

"Loki–"

"Not yet, Kaya. Just go get ready. Please." There was some hesitation. With her shields up I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I imagined she wasn't too sure if she was ready to have this conversation herself. Eventually, she decided to listen, silently leaving the sofa and disappearing into the elevator. I didn't watch as she left, but the moment I heard the doors to the elevator close, I sighed. This growing unease within me was bleeding through into almost every interaction we had, and with the time we could ignore the situation rapidly decreasing I knew it was only going to get worse. She wasn't going to come back with me, forcing me to stay on this planet. The one thing she refused to let me do before we left for Asgard. Perhaps deep down she expects me to go back without her. A deeply insecure part of myself even began to believe that was the main cause of her actions. Fortunately, Stark arrived with enough of a distraction to break me from such thoughts.