Infatuated with a God

Chapter Forty-Seven

It was far too early in the morning when we were all on a quinjet setting out to the middle east. As we flew there we all gathered around to talk through the mission. The layout of the base was fairly simple and entirely similar to the one I was held in when they found me, if not just smaller. It was meant to be the last one, the very last few Hydra agents in the world. It was doubtful, though only Steve and I expressed our concerns. Others held them but said nothing. The thought that we would never really be rid of them was far too disturbing to think about for too long. Then Tony and Steve talked through the plan, that we would all circle the base to prevent any escapees, with FRIDAY informing us of any runaways. I was confused, believing that I would be going in as a distraction first. It is what the briefing pack we had all received stated.

"I thought Fury said I was–"

"And I thought you were smart enough to realise that even if we said we would agree with it to him, that we would never risk you like that." I blinked. It was the only movement I seemed to be able to do. I thought back to how they just sat there during the meeting. The meeting continued around me, but I needed space, so I walked off into the cargo space of the quinjet to get it. I still listened in, wanting the more vulnerable members near me so I could shield them still but settling on the fact it would be hard for me to manage to shield anyone I couldn't see. They all knew Loki could, and none of them trusted him to protect them, so it was never mentioned.

It wasn't long before I was joined by Wanda. She sat opposite me, our shoes touching from the tight space.

"It may be over soon." She spoke. I only nodded, not wanting to doubt what little optimism she somehow managed to maintain. We continued in silence until Loki walked over to us. I gazed up at him, watching him maintain his uncaring demeanour. I wondered if it was an act like I'd come to believe it was, if underneath he still cared. If she still planned no to betray me. Or if the caring side of him was an act.

"I... I wish to know more about Hydra. But I was concerned that looking through your thoughts could reveal more horrors you are not ready to face." I nodded before saying that after the mission we could, but not before. He became hesitant, stating he wanted to know what we were up against before. It was unlike him to push these types of boundaries, and he would know it would affect the mission for me to relive things I couldn't remember.

"Loki I can't before the mission, you know it would distract me." The suspicion in my voice was clear, it was far too obvious of a plan for him to be trying to distract me during the mission. Not befitting of a God who ruled over deceit and lies.

"Kaya, it is not just you with such memories." I frowned and began to instantly disagree with her allowing him into her head. Of course, I couldn't stop her from allowing it as it was her life. She would remember it all anyway. So, I decided to listen in through Loki's mind, my own reactions be damned. I needed to know if he planned to hurt her.

Instead, I watched her, and Pietro being introduced to Hydra. I watched myself standing there, my eyes looking completely vacant. Parts of this I remembered, and others were new but felt too distant to feel like me. During the initial tests I fought each of the recruits, hurting every single one of them. I'd even broken Pietro's arm which I had no recollection of doing. Then the tests began. I already had access to seiðr, my power glowing green as I healed the twins. It was an odd memory, one that didn't fit the soldier I watched. I longed to understand myself in that moment, in what happened to me to begin to care about the twins. Then the experiments began. It killed many, others it drove mad, and I was tasked with killing them. A harrowing moment when one 'volunteer' refused to try, and I was also tasked with killing him. Then I watched as the sceptre reacted to me one day, Wanda not meant to be there but watching through the vents as the power of the mind stone changed me. Hydra were ecstatic, too happy with their success to notice the change in me. The next memory was me casting my magic around Wanda before she was tested on, the magic taking to her as well and causing her red powers. Then both of us infusing Pietro with our magic to ensure his success as well. I thought it would end there, but instead it was Strucker who found me with the twins when I should be. He finally noticed I had too much control and compassion over myself. I watched in horror as Wanda remembered him beating me in front of the twins and guards. The laughter I heard from the agents, the comments, and the sneers were truly awful. Then he spoke the words and I watched as I writhed in pain trying to fight the losing battle. One final memory of my lifeless bloody body being dragged away and the smile on Strucker's face as they did.