Infatuated with a God

Chapter One-Hundred and Nine

When I returned to Loki's room I jumped at the sight of a figure before me. I was so accustomed to being alone in this room now, that seeing Loki before me put me at slight unease. I also became acutely aware of the wine that had somewhat clouded my judgement. He stepped out of the shadow, chalice in his hand. Part of me wondered if this was to be my life in the future. To become wary of the man I love as his behaviour continues to derail. I hated that he made me feel on edge. That I couldn't just rush into his arms and let him hold me.

"Is this to be a quick visit, or will his highness be gracing me with his presence for the rest of the evening?" He sauntered over to me, feeling somehow taller. As if his ego had caused him to tower higher over me. Despite the room around me, I felt trapped by his presence. He noticed instantly, circling me like a vulture circling its prey. All bravery from earlier had long since vanished, the wine clouding my judgement. So I stayed trapped by him, waiting until he slowly made his way back round to my front.

"Did you have a good time tonight, pet?" His tone was low and he spoke quietly. As he asked, he gently pushed his seiðr into my hair, letting it all fall from my braids. Once it fully cascaded down, he pushed it off of my neck and shoulders. Goosebumps spread across my skin as his fingertips grazed my skin lightly. The use of my nickname too caused my body to react, sending shivers down my spine and heating my cheeks.

I didn't want to react to him. If anything I wished I could force my body to stop responding to his touches, to his words, to the way his breath danced across my skin as he inched closer. It wasn't just his presence that put me on edge, his actions gave me cause for concern. He'd been drinking, the honey scent of mead lingering in the air, that could fuel his actions. But I'd now seen him drunk, and he was not currently drunk. Part of me wondered how much of an eye he kept on the banquet. I suspected the Lord from earlier was spying on me, or he could himself do so. I knew he could hide his seiðr, with his strength in illusions I doubted I would know. He could be mad at my words, or for dancing with Thor. Perhaps my plan worked faster than I intended. Or maybe he was too consumed in his own mind to pay heed to me at all. When his eyes met mine all thoughts died. It no longer mattered to me what fuelled his actions, only that something did. Any retort to him died on my tongue before it even formed. With few light sources around the room, the shadow threatened to swallow us both, his black hair blending into the darkness around him along with his dark clothes. It felt strange. Like we were no longer the people who stepped into this room, but who were on a deeper level. Two assassins alone in the dark, each with an ulterior motive. But if my goal was to understand why he acted like this, I'd already lost.

His finger brushed over my pulse point on my neck and a lazy smirk lit up his face as he felt it quicken. Slowly, his fingers made their way to my chin and held it in place. He forced me to gaze up at him, demanding an answer with a small hum and a raised eyebrow.

"Y-yes. It was okay." His smirk grew slightly as he let go of my chin and ran the back of his index finger down my neck and to my shoulder.

"Just okay? Hmm?" He couldn't even make it seem like he wasn't paying attention to what his hands were doing. He was not invested in the conversation at hand, nor did I think he actually cared about my time at the banquet. A fingertip slipped just under the fabric of my dress at my shoulder. My breath hitched as warmth exploded throughout my body.

You should have been there, Loki." My voice was barely a whisper as my eyes fluttered closed. His finger slowly moved left, across my neckline. There was no escaping this now. He knew I wanted him and I knew I craved his affections too much to push him away. Regardless, this was dangerous. Both of us should have put a stop to it. Neither of us should have indulged in our worst habit. We ran from each other before but ignoring how we truly felt and getting lost in each other was something new. I'd ran to sex and alcohol before and I believed he had done as well. If we continued to do so with each other I feared the damage would be irreversible. And yet my body didn't move away. If anything it leaned towards him.