Taming The Tiger

29. Panic Attack

Yu Hua buried his head into his new scarf which Jing Yong bought for him as he waited in front of GL Entertainment. Indeed, he could wait inside, but he didn't want to take the chance to be seen by anyone he knew. Finally he had some peace on the set, so he didn't want to risk losing it again because of a rumour.

After ten minutes of waiting, a black BMW stopped in front of him and the back door pushed open.

"Get on," Hu Jing Yao said and the actor jumped in quickly. Looking at his reddish cheeks and swallowed eyes, the CEO asked, "is it that cold? Sorry to make you wait."

Yu Hua just shook his head, wondering if the ice he put on his eyes had any effect at all. One glance and the CEO immediately realised something was wrong. Good that he blamed the weather for that.

As the actor chose not to speak, Hu Jing Yao didn't try to initiate any conversation. They sat in silence, watching the fast-passing lights of the night through their respected windows. Well, the CEO took a few furtive glances towards the actor, but the latter seemed too deep in thought to notice his gaze. Only when the car stopped, he came to his senses and hastily left the car behind the CEO.

"What is this place?" Yu Hua asked innocently, seeing the huge marble entrance.

"A restaurant, best in the city," Hu Jing Yao answered and gestured to the actor to follow him. After learning the actor was working two jobs just as he claimed before and God knew why, the CEO felt some pity for him, and when it combined with the dejected look Yu Hua had that day, Hu Jing Yao wanted to cheer him up. A dinner was always a right choice, right?

Obediently, Yu Hua entered the luxurious place after the CEO, but the regret was instant. The restaurant was full as if it was giving free food and all table-occupants were screaming high class. Yu Hua didn't belong to that place. Even the waiters were dressed better than him. He could feel the disapproving eyes on himself and felt like an intruder. He wanted to turn around and run out for dear life, but before he could take action, he found himself sitting on a velvet chair across from the CEO.

"Choose whatever you want," Hu Jing Yao said when a thick menu was slipped into his shaky hands.

Being unable to hold the heavy burden, it slipped from Yu Hua's grip and fell on the white table cloth with a thud, a random page open. It was the meat meals' page and the poor actor's gaze wandered on the prices with shock. A plate of seasoned beef was worth his monthly wage...

"Did you decide?" Hu Jing Yao after the waiter took his order.

Yu Hua didn't even hear the question. His heartbeat was raging inside his chest, blaming him for being a hypocrite. He was selling his body and soul for money, yet he was there undeserved, letting himself to be treated. It was wrong. All wrong. His brother was about to leave him behind for a comfortable life... A plate worth a month's salary... Yu Hua felt the room coming down at him with a madly speed...

"Sir?"

Yu Hua tilted his head up to the waiter who was now standing on his side. Was he laughing at him? He knew... he too knew he didn't belong there... he could smell his cheap shampoo...

"Yu Hua?" Hu Jing Yao finally noticed there was something wrong with the actor. He seemed as if he could faint in a second, his face drenched in a pallid hue.

Yu Hua indeed saw black spots dancing in his vision. He was embarrassing the CEO... a plate worth a month's salary... all eyes on him... he didn't belong there... pretentious...

"Yu Hua!" Hu Jing Yao rushed to the panicking man and yanked him off his chair, "let's go out for a second," he said with a soothing voice and grabbed the younger's waist with one hand and his arm with the other, and half-carried him out of the restaurant.

All that time, Yu Hua was unaware of his surroundings. He just grabbed the CEO's coat to anchor him and trusted himself to the CEO's warm hands. Before long -it was one hundred years to the actor-, Yu Hua felt the cold night breeze on his face and felt he could breathe again.

"Good, keep breathing," Hu Jing Yao said as he helped the unstable man to a cold bank near the restaurant. Then he crouched down in front of the shaking man and grabbed his cold face with both hands, tilting it up gently to make eye contact. Caressing his small face with his thumbs, he said "breathe with me, in and out, good, you are doing great."

Yu Hua stuck his gaze on the CEO's reassuring face and mimicked his movements. In and out... in and out... Gradually, his panicking mind was mitigated and his breathing went back to normal.

"I... am so sorry" was the first sentence the actor uttered as he withdrew his hand which wrinkled the CEO's shirt terribly.

Almost reluctantly, Hu Jing Yao let his face go and shifted his position to sit beside the actor. "What happened? You almost had a panic attack," he said concernedly.

Yu Hua drooped his head and focused his tired gaze on his hands on his lap. Why did he have to be that problematic? He always caused troubles for the CEO and now the man even missed his dinner to sit with him outside in the cold.

"I guess you don't want to go back to the restaurant, hmm?"

"I am so sorry, Mr. Hu," Yu Hua repeated again, "you should go in, I am fine."

"And leave you here after you had an attack?" Hu Jing Yao rhetorically asked, squinting his eyes, "do you think I am that low?"

"No!" Yu Hua heaved a sigh and covered his face with his palms. Damn, he couldn't even express himself properly! Or nobody really wanted to understand him...

Like the actor, the CEO also heaved a sigh and stood up while pulling the other up as well, "what do you want to eat?" he asked softly, trying not to agitate him more. Jeez, it was so weird, he couldn't even treat the actor to dinner without an incident. Although he was itching to know, he had no idea why the younger had an attack when everything was as normal as it could be.

"Maybe it would be better to-"

"No." I won't let you go like this.