1x20 - Theatrically

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IT WAS A NEW WEEK and we were all sitting in the choir room

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IT WAS A NEW WEEK and we were all sitting in the choir room. We noticed that Tina wasn't dressed how she normally was. She was dressed in a hoddie and sweats.

"It's so weird." Artie comments.

"This so isn't you." Finn mentions.

"I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian." Tina says.

"Tina, are there any other looks you can try? " Mr. Schue asks.

"Biker chick?" Santana asks.

"Hot." I comment.

"Cowgirl?" Finn suggests.

"Hood rat." Mercedes adds.

"Computer programmer." Quinn comments.

"80s rockstar?" I suggest.

"Cross-country skier." Brittany comments.

"Catholic schoolgirl." Puck says and Tina's eyes light up.

"Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken." Brittany lists and we look at her confused.

"Look, I appreciate it, guys,but it just isn't me. I know who I am, and I'm not allowed to show it. It's like communism." Tina tells us.

Rachel them rushes into the room.

"Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?" Rachel mentions.

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie asks.

"No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever ! Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the Dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights." Rachel responds.

"Oh, no."

"Which led me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace. They were sold out." Rachel adds.

"Oh, sweet Jesus." Mercedes comments.

"Oh, my." Kurt mumbles.

"Wait, what?" Mr. Schue asks.

"They're doing Gaga." I respond.

"That's it. It's over." Mercedes comments.

"Exactly." Rachel adds.

"We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them." Kurt says.

"What's up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?" Puck asks.

"Lady Gaga is a woman. She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation. And she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners." Kurt aggressively informs him.

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