𝐌𝐞𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬 - 𝐽𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝐻𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑟

chapter 61

September 24th, 2021

OLIVIA'S P.O.V.

Last few days Jaden and I haven't talked at all. And I did feel guilty for the things I said, but I don't fucking want high people around my child. Even if it's his dad.

Jaden has been clean since we started living together this year. Or at least I thought. And it was just few days ago that I found out he would smoke every now and then.

I know it's hard to come through addiction, probably harder than I can imagine, but what the fuck?

He promised that he won't do drugs, and then managed to lie to me about it.

How do I know now that he didn't hide more things? Am I supposed to pretend like he didn't use my trust in him against me?

Well, I'm not going to fucking do it.

I know he's been on those things since he was like 12 or 13, something like that. And he is 30 now. But he could've at least told me he relapsed months ago. Then we could've tried to get through it together. If he wanted it. But it was just important that he didn't lie to me about it.

But instead, he did it behind my back.

And if he doesn't want to get clean, then I don't wanna do this anymore.

I grew up with my dad being high every day and abusing me and much more stuff. And I don't want our children going through that. I know he would never abuse me or our kids, but still.

It has too much effect on kids. Especially when they grow up and realize what has been happening their whole life.

And weed every now and then will grow to weed every day again, and then just worse and worse drugs.

And I don't fucking want that around Josh, Alyssa when she comes here in few weeks, or baby that will come here in months.

"Do you think it's time we talk about this or just ignore each other for the rest of the life?" I asked as I sat next to him on the sofa where we drink coffee every morning.

Maybe I was the one to tell him to don't talk to me, but if he cared he would still try to talk to me and fix his shit.

He just remained silent while I looked at him.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I nodded my head. Now he doesn't even care.

"Great. Good to know where we're at." I got up as I wanted to leave inside of the house.

"Wait Liv-" Now I was the one to ignore him as I continued walking in the house, "Please wait." He pulled me back by my wrist, turning me around.

"I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry." He cried as he looked at me. It took me all my strength not to cry with him and pull him in a hug.

"Please just don't leave me again. I promise I will try to fix myself. I just need- I just need you. Please don't leave."
"You had me all these months, yet you've managed to use my trust in you. That's not how we act towards each other. You don't just fucking use someone's trust."
"I know. And I'm fucking sorry. So sorry. But I just- it's fucking hard. And I was so ashamed to tell you. Because I knew how you would react. And I'm not fucking proud of myself. Actually the complete opposite. And I hate lying to you. But I just- I just couldn't bring myself to admit it."

"When?"
"What when?"
"Did you relapse?"
"I don't know. July?"
"God-fucking-dammit Jaden. And you've been lying to me for three months?"
"I'm sorry. Okay? I am fucking sorry. But you don't fucking know how hard I've tried."
"I'm not saying you didn't try hard enough. But why did you lie about it? How am I supposed to trust you for anything else when you've lied to me for months?"

Finally, my voice cracked as tears started rolling down my face.

"I swear- I swear Olivia, I never lied about anything else. I swear on my life. What do you want me to do to prove you that I didn't lie about anything else? I can swear on Josh if you-"
"Don't fucking swear on our child's name when we are fighting!"
"Well I can't do anything else to prove you I didn't fucking lie about anything else. Only if I had a surprise for you but that doesn't count."

"I've tried so hard to help you, Jaden. But I can't help you if you don't fucking want it. You wanna use them? Go ahead. I won't fucking stop you. But that same moment you chose them over your fucking family, you can forget on seeing me and any of your children again. Because I'm not gonna fucking let my kids go through same shit like I went through! And as far as I've seen, you already made your choice."

"It's not like that. I promise you that it's not more important than you guys. I swear on my life they are not. But I just needed it. And I'm fucking sorry, but my body has been addicted for half of my fucking life, it doesn't just go away when I want it."
"I knew you will relapse at some point. Because I know that you can't just stop doing it from one try, especially where you work at. But I fucking expected you to tell me that. As your fiancé, as a mother of your child, am I not supposed to fucking know about it? Not that it's ruining your fucking body, but it's having effects on people around you. Especially child!

We're not supposed to keep secrets away from each other."

"I know! How many times do I need to tell you that I'm sorry for you to trust me?!"
"I don't know. Maybe one time would've been enough if I knew that I could trust you on every word you say."
"Please just give me another chance. Please. I won't use your trust against you. Please. Please Olivia. I can't lose you."

He held the sides of my face as he placed his forehead on my and looked me in the eyes. My hands were tight on his wrist as we both cried.

Goddamn.

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