Spidergirl Here We Go Again

Choose

  I didn't exactly sleep that night, just getting up and making coffee, sitting and watching the news the rest of the night while I thought about everything Peter said. He was right about so many things like how happy we were, how happy I made May, and life just felt right when it was us, but for some reason Loki crawled his way into my life and everything changed. I had kids when I never really wanted them until I was older, but they were my everything now. I couldn't go back to hurting Peter either, he was my best friend before we were anything and after I realized how much I really hurt him I knew I couldn't go back to that. I had to choose between them, and with everything I had been through if it was an option I would choose neither of them, but I couldn't hurt Loki like I had Peter, and that was something I knew for sure.

  "I know I usually get up in the middle of the night but you...what's wrong," Loki asked as he sat next to me, my index finger tracing along the rim of my mug as he took my hand in his.

  "Gwen?"

  "Hmm," I asked as he looked directly into my eyes.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Just thinking," I said as he sat up, showing me he was ready to listen.

  "You can tell me anything...you know that," he said as I nodded, tears forming in my eyes as I tried to look away, but he just pulled me into him, trying to calm me down.

  "Shhh, I'm right here, it's okay," he said, kissing my forehead as I continued crying.

  "I'm not a good parent, a good wife, a hero...hell I was a terrible girlfriend, I always hurt everyone why couldn't it have been me and not Nat, and Tony," I sobbed as he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

  "What makes you think any of that," he asked as I pulled out Loki's drawings, showing him.

  "The teacher pulled me aside...she asked if their home environment was stable and showed me these...our son drew those," I said as he looked at them with sadness in his eyes once he saw the picture of his throat being held by Thanos, me trying to reach him, and it almost looked like it was drawn from Thor's eyes.

  "What if I was wrong?"

  "About what," he asked, looking back up at me as I looked down.

  "About everything," I said as I met his eyes again.

  "You're an amazing mother, you're the best wife I could ever ask for, your friends, your family never lost hope because you didn't, you used to save people more than anything, and Peter was happy," he said as I searched his eyes for an answer to the last part.

  "I heard your conversation earlier...you're scared of hurting him, that's why you broke up with him before you married me, but when he said he wanted you back you told him I was different. I know a part of you wants to go back to him, and I won't stop you, but I just hope you know that no matter what you choose as long as you are happy that's all I ask," he said as he took my hands.

  "I wish everything was that simple...I'm going for a walk," I said, abruptly standing from my spot as I set my cup on the island and walked out the door. I really did wish everything was more simple, but the fact that I absentmindedly found myself at Peter's door told a whole different story, and truly I was torn between them. I knocked on the door, knowing it was a Friday night Peter and May would be up watching movies still.

  "Yeah I got it May," I heard Peter's voice chime happily as he opened the door, looking at me as I looked at him, not knowing exactly what to say.

  "I couldn't sleep," I said simply as he nodded, letting me in. 

  "Gwen...it's nice to see you, come sit," May said kindly as I smiled, wiping the stray tears from my eyes as I sat between the two of them, May smiling at me as we watched Rise of The Skywalker.

  "Have you seen this one yet," Peter asked as he handed me the popcorn bowl which I kindly refused.

  "Yeah...I knew you'd like it," I said as he looked over at me, both of us smiling gently at each other as the movie played.

  "I'm going to head to bed, it was really nice to see you Gwen," May smiled as she put a gentle hand on Peter's shoulder and went into her room. I started nodding off a little while later, my head resting on Peter's lap and his hand running through my hair as we chose random movies off Netflix, my phone ringing startling me as I fell off the couch with a loud thud and a groan as Peter laughed.

  "Who's calling at four thirty in the morning," peter asked as he looked at the clock and I sat back on the couch, pulling my phone from my pocket.

  "Loki...what's wrong," I asked into my phone as I heard muffled grumbles.

  "Shut him up," I heard a familiar voice say as I looked at Peter, putting it on speaker.

  "What do you want Sharon," I asked angrily as I heard small shouts in the background.

  "Rude much...that's no way to greet an old friend Gwen, no matter. You have twelve hours to turn yourself and the stones in, or all three of them-" she said as I heard a gunshot go off and a small scream as my breathing went ragged and I looked at Peter.

  "Both of them that are left to die...and I won't be gentle," she said as the line went dead and I stared blankly at the phone screen.

  "What does she mean turn the stones in? Cap brought them all back...didn't he," Peter asked as I looked up, meeting his eyes.

  "She means they're going to kill me to extract the parts of the stones that are inside of me...this is what I was afraid of," I said as I stood up.

  "What does that mean? What were you afraid of?"

  "I have to learn how to use the powers I got from the stones in twelve hours."