Ass Milk

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I really want to know, are you guys Team Ferne or Team Charlie? Which character is your favourite and why?

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               Charlie and Ferne were inevitably going to get arrested.

What? Did you seriously think they would be able to get away with spray-painting Ass Milk on walls, billboards, elders driveways and only a God knows what else?

Charlie was sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. He saw the newspaper headline today.

Strange Graffiti Adorns the Nation

A little overdramatic, don't you think? It didn't matter. Charlie was going to die in a prison cell.

The police were looking everywhere for any sign of who could have committed such a weird, milky crime. They'd find out today.

Today was the day Charlie and Ferne presented their controversial artwork, along with a (ugh) speech, in front of the entire school, including the talented staff of the art gallery. The thought made Charlie's heart race. All those eyes, raking over his masterpiece of creativity and-

But at least one pair of those eyes would have seen the newspaper.

So, Charlie and his boyfriend, were fucked.

In the arse.

               "Charlie! Are you awake? It's time for the big reveal. Have you got all of your art-pieces? You better bloody do-"

"I have them read, Mum." Charlie rolled his eyes, heaving his body off the mattress. I am fucked.

He took one glance in the mirror, taking himself in for the last time as an innocent civilian. Beautiful blonde hair chopped across his forehead in a rather abstract fringe, his clear glacial blue eyes pleading, his mouth set in a queasy line.

"I'm too beautiful to go to jail." he said, before leaving the house.

               Meanwhile, Ferne was loving it. He was sat back on a bench in the school grounds, tapping his black leather boot to the beat of his heavy metal, legs spread-eagled, unashamed of his manhood, hands behind his head. Due to the beaming sunshine, he was wearing a tight black shirt, one which showed off the intricacy of his sleeve tattoos.

When he felt the presence of someone slowly advancing, he whipped the earphones out from either side of his head, and grinned up facetiously at a stormy-eyed Charlie.

"Fuck me, Charlie! Did you see the headline?"

"Yes, I fucking well did." Charlie hissed, grabbing his boyfriend by his heavily tattooed arm. "And I'm going to dunk your dick in acid. You said you've never been caught before!"

Ferne, being frog-matched to the entrance of the school began laughing. "I haven't! We're so close to being found out!"

"Why is that something to be cheerful of?!"

"You're boring."

"If you weren't so cute Ferne, I'd have you strung up on a tree like a Christmas decoration long before I came to school."