"So, how did you know you were gay?"
"One day, I was walking and a rainbow tumbled from the sky and onto my head. Consequently, my brains fell out and I forgot what a vagina was. So, suddenly, when I accidentally walked into a changing room and tho...
[that weekend, the night they planned to spray-paint ass milk on buildings...]
<< Calling... <<
<< Calling... <<
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<< 00:01 <<
"Ferne speaking."
"Not your little sister then."
"Oh, hey, Charlie!"
"I bought the spray paints! Tonight's deadline is prepared!"
"LET'S BREAK SOME LAWS."
"What time?"
"FUCKING MIDNIGHT YA CUNT, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK."
"You sure are excited..."
"EXCITED DOESN'T BROACH THE EMOTION I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW."
"You sound like you just had another cup of espresso. And nothing like you were in art class."
"BECAUSE I HAVE?!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy."
"WHAT?!"
"Sarcasm and rudeness suit you. Espresso-fuelled excitement does not. I'm just imagining a black-clad bundle climbing the walls."
"ACTUALLY, I'M BOX-KICKING MY SISTER'S MY LITTLE PONIES, FUCK BOY."
"Shouldn't that be kick-boxing?"
"I DON'T KNOW, SHOULDN'T YOU BE DRINKING BLEACH?"
"You need to stop drinking coffee. Seriously."
"WANT TO PLAY A GAME?"
"No."
"OKAY, YOU GO FIRST-"
"FERNE."
"YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO POUR SOME BLEACH INTO A CUP-"
"I'm hanging up on you."
"YOU WOULDN'T CHARLIE, YOU LOVE ME."
"Yep, I'm definitely hanging up on you, Coffee Goth."
"I LOVE YOU, CHARLIE."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"IT'S JUST A JOKE, PSYCHO."
"OH. THAT'S... HAHAHAHAHA-"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA-"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"
"HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA-"
"HAAAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAA!"
"GOOD ONE, RIGHT?"
"RIGHT."
"..."
"..."
"You know, Charlie, it's a lot of fun when you're hyper too."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"You still there?"
"I'll see you tonight, Ferne."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"I'm going to hang up now."
"Okay."
"Bye."
"Yeah, bye."
"Keep away from the espresso, okay?"
"No."
"Ferne. Please. I don't want a fucking mentally challenged goth howling about bleach drinking at dickhead o'clock. Do you realise how many people will get triggered?"
"My answer remains the same. No. I gave birth to espresso, so I shall drink it."
"That's fucked up."
"So?"
"Seriously. No. Coffee."
"Why?"
"This is my warning voice."
"Dominant. I like it."
"I'll make you like it."
"..."
"Your giggle is so girly."
"I don't giggle I laugh! Like a man!"
"Giggler."
"You can't spell slaughter without laughter, Charlie."
"I'm out. Bye, bitch."
"Later."
"Yeah, bye, Ferne."
"..."
"..."
"Okay, bye."
"Bye."
"..."
"..."
"YOU HEAVY BREATHE LIKE A WALRUS SNORING INTO BLANCMANGE. IT'S PISSING ME OFF, CHARLIE. HANG THE FUCK UP."
