[that saturday after two days spent together spray-painting ass milk on elderly pensioner's driveways, narrowly dodging a police incident and pressing their faces against the windows of the coffee shop they kicked out of (don't you worry you didn't miss much), the unlikely couple look forward to their first romantic date]
"Drive."
"Nice to see you too, gorgeous."
"Seriously, fucking drive."
"Why-"
"DRIVE OR YOU WILL FEEL THE HOMOPHOBE'S WRATH, FERNE."
"Shit. I'm on it."
"THE SHE-DEVIL IS COMING OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR! DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE."
"THE KEY WON'T TURN!"
"SHE'S ADVANCING AT BREAK-NECK SPEED! HURRY IT UP!"
"SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT-"
"DRIVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR WE'RE GOING TO END UP VIOLENTLY SUCKING THE ASS OF A MADWOMAN."
YOU ARE READING
Ass Milk
Short Story"So, how did you know you were gay?" "One day, I was walking and a rainbow tumbled from the sky and onto my head. Consequently, my brains fell out and I forgot what a vagina was. So, suddenly, when I accidentally walked into a changing room and tho...
