<< Calling... <<
"Pick up, pick up..."
<< Calling... <<
<< Calling... <<
<< Calling... <<
<< 00:01 <<
"He-?"
"YOU ABSOLUTE TWAT-EATING BALL- BUSTING PROSTITUTE! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO TURN UP?"
"Fe-"
"DIDN'T YOU SEE THE TEXTS? I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL SHOVE A KNIFE THROUGH YOUR JUGULAR. AN ACTUAL LEGITIMATE OCCULT KNIFE THE SIZE OF A WHALE CO-"
"..."
"Are you crying?"
[muffled voices at the end of the phone line]
"Hello? Hello, Ferne?"
"..."
"Ferne?"
"What in the living fuck were you saying to my little sister?"
"..."
"She's bawling her eyes out, thinking she's going to get a knife the size of a whale shoved in her, for, and I quote, "art-eating"."
"..."
"She is five-years-old, Charlie Kingston."
"..."
"..."
"I'm so sorry..."
"Whatever, man. My mum can handle it. What's up?"
"Didn't you see my texts?"
"I saw."
"I've been waiting outside the coffee shop for you for, oh, only several millennia!"
"Well damn! Why didn't you say so? I would have dropped everything for you!"
"Sarcasm suits you."
"Ugly suits you."
"At least I don't sit in front of my mirror and paint my eyelids pitch black."
"Charlie, honestly, I'd love to insult you back, really I would, but it looks like nature beat me to it."
"Look smart mouth, are you coming to meet me or not? That's all I called to know."
"And not to call my five-year-old sister a prostitute? I'd love to, but I just don't have the time-"
"Why?"
"..."
"I mean not that I care..."
"I have to go."
"HOLD UP, SUNNY BOY. THE ONLY PLACE YOU'RE GOING IS OUT OF THAT DOOR TO MEET ME."
"Pah! You wish!"
"I'm sorry."
"That flew out of nowhere?"
"For your sister, Ferne."
"Oh. She'll be okay, buddy. I mean she's already- CLIMBING THE CURTAINS OH MY GOD- MAISY GET DOWN FROM THERE!"
"Sounds like a madhouse."
"It is. MAISY-"
[sounds blur and muffle and resound on the end of the line until silence resonates]
"Okay. Back."
"I missed you."
"..."
"Are you... Taking that seriously?"
"What, no! Me? Take your brown-nosed arse-licking shit seriously? HA HA HA HA-"
"Ferne?"
"..."
"I..."
"What?"
"I... Thanks. For telling me you're not coming to meet me."
<< 02:44 <<
<< ending call... <<
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