Ass Milk

especially

"Hey Ferne?"

"What is it?"

"Yesterday, when I called you fucking dumb, you said something about your parents-"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"Do they call you dumb?"

"Obviously. Catch on, Charlie."

"And other shit?"

"...Of course?"

"Is that why you're an emo now?"

"Huh? No? They don't abuse me, if that's what you're getting at."

"..."

"Why?"

"No reason."

".."

"..."

"You know, nothing seems to make you happy today. It's been forty-five minutes and you still look like a constipated platypus."

"Thanks. Means a lot, Ferne. When your mum is religiously homophobic and comes back from her business trip, it tends to suck the living penis out of you."

"Living penis?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hey. Psycho."

"..."

"I thought of something funny."

"..."

"To do with asses. And milk."

"...What?"

"Ass milk."

"How is that...?"

"Ass. Milk. Milk is white. Think about it."

"Milk is white...?Ass mi--------? OH."

"Yeah, oh."

"Oh!"

"Took you a while."

"Oh, oh, oh! Oh! I see it!"

"Charlie-"

"That's punny!"

"It's not even a pun. It's an inuendo."

"In-your-end-oh!"

"Grow up."

"I'll use that epic innuendo on my mum! "Don't mind me mum, I'm sitting on my bowl of cornflakes to let the milk drip out." Oh my god-"

"You're laughing so hard you're wheezing-"

"'The milk is inside my ass because I take it up the-""

"ALRIGHT! Keep it PG!"

"Sperm-flakes!"

"Charlie! You just knocked over the fucking paints!"

"Ass milk!"

"..."

"Ferne?"

"..."

"Does that make my penis an udder?"

"PULL THAT DICK LOGED UP YOUR ARSE STRAIGHT OUT, AND HELP ME CLEAN THIS THE FUCK UP."

"It's funny because you said straight-"

"Well, pull that dick lodged up your arse homosexual out doesn't make a lot of sense."

"..."

"Stop laughing, freak."

"You're smiling too!"

"PAINTS. ON THE FLOOR. HELP."