113 | Gooey Eyes & Farts

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WEIRD

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WEIRD. It felt weird being in the driver's seat again after so long. I opened my eyes, feeling a warmth covering me like a toasty blanket. It took me a moment to realize that I was in someone's arms.

"You okay, Bet?" Sebastian kneeled on the floor in the icy water with me in his arms.

"I think so," I whispered, staring into his light blue eyes. They were so dark before like raging storms, but now they were light again. Bright.

Isn't he so dreamy? Huh? He sacrificed his life for us. What guy has helped us that much since we've been here? Jookie did admit the truth to the viewers, which technically saved us. And Khan did heal us when we almost died, and he helped us — Okay? Still — just go somewhere. You're not needed. Look. Why don't you like me? Because you're reckless and you try to kill without thinking. I already have Tini to look after, I don't need your trigger-happy ass too.

You know what? You're a mean person. What? You paint yourself as this nice person when you're not. Since I'm actually a nice person, I'll give you this hint. Layla's killer. Look into Fee.

And then I felt her retreat, guilt riding in my bones. She was dangerous. She had to be buried. I wasn't being mean — I was just trying to keep us alive.

"Bet?" Seb shook me, bringing my attention back to him.

I blinked. "I'm sorry. I just—"

"I understand," he said, cutting me off.

I glanced at him, seeing him in a new light. He did truly understand. He was like me. Tini couldn't face the truth about us — hey I barely understood our current dynamic and what was going on. Everything was happening so fast, but I couldn't let it get to me. I had to keep pushing forward to keep us all alive, even her.

But if Seb was like us, maybe he could help us. Maybe he could help us understand ourselves better. Plus, I was curious. What was it like for him? Did he switch like me? How did it happen? How many did he have? I had so many questions on the tip of my tongue that I forgot where we were for a moment.

"Bet?" Rucker asked.

"Yes?" I said, rushing out of Seb's arms and to the chair. I almost stumbled, but I kept myself up. My body felt incredibly weak. It was like something was sucking my energy away like a psychic leech. It must be Tini. She felt so far away and was a jumble of emotions, yet she also felt at peace for some reason.

Tini went through so much just now. And she went through even more while watching Rucker suffer. It brought up so many bad memories. Last time she was bad like this was when the ID special on our family came on. She was gone for a year. It wasn't until now that I realize how lonely it was without her.

Even though playing this game was shitty and we clashed and argued a lot, it was nice having her around. It was like having a sister. And now without her, it felt so weird. Lonely.

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