48 | Fighting Myself

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Author Note

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

Author Note

Sorry for the late update, guys! This chapter was extra-long, so it took some extra time to edit/get right. I'm still not completely happy with it, but I hope you guys like it!  Also, I wanted to put a trigger warning on this chapter because it does get really dark/depression, even some suicidal thoughts, so if that's a trigger for anyone, feel free to skip this chapter :)

♟♙♟

WHAT the hell kind of riddle was this?

I almost tossed my iPad across the room in frustration, but I paused. Jookie did love to fuck with me, but what if he was really giving me a clue? But what if he wasn't?

My mind tried to grasp onto Tini and her feelings, but it felt like nothing was there. Just air. I was really on my own now.

That whole mother-live-audience thing must've been too much for her, even if she didn't want to admit it. Or maybe I was wrong?

I shook my head, staring down at the riddle again. I didn't have time to ponder such stupid things. I needed to find a way to survive the voting session, and that seemed impossible at the moment.

It seemed like almost everyone was against me, but could I blame them?

The way that Tini dissected that body — a delicious shiver whizzed across my chest at the intense memories. Fresh saliva formed at the corners of my lips, and I wiped it away, severe shame tickling my tummy.

Who would want someone like me around them?

I shook my head, needing something to get me out of my self-loathing because it felt like I was getting ready to go under, drowning in myself.

The black words of the cryptic riddle filled my vision again before slowly slipping off the tablet, swarming into the dark room like an army of cicadas on a mission as I continued to brainstorm the answer.

Within minutes, the letters formed in front of me, giving me the answer.

Thirteen.

Huh? What did that mean?

A notification flashed across my tablet — Layla with more bible verses and messages of her calling us all monsters and sinners. Unholy.

Still, I shuffled through them, reading them, and that's when I noticed that most of them were sent to all the other contestants, but some were only sent to me.

The ones sent only to me were weird.

One said, "Lily...."

Another said, "Lily, forgive me."

One said, "I miss you, Lily. Please."

And the final one said, "It didn't have to be like this. I love you, Lily..."

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