Dear Sophia,
I love you. I can’t sit still. I don’t know what to do. I need to talk to you. I need to know you’re ok. I think I might be really ill but I can’t worry about that. I’d probably feel fine if I just knew you were ok. I’m panicking and it’s giving me a really nervous energy and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m sweating and I can’t focus and my head feels really really hot. Your name isn’t on the calendar for today. I wasn’t expecting to see you. I went along just in case because I couldn’t sit in the house all day doing nothing. You weren’t there. That’s ok. Your name isn’t on the calendar for today. I wasn’t expecting to see you. It’s just that I didn’t see you on Friday so I’m already worrying about what I’ll do if you’re not there Monday. I don’t know what to do. I thought about calling the police but that would be no use. I don’t trust them to understand or do the right thing anyway. There’s not been a single arrest since those break ins. They never catch the really dangerous ones. They just stay out there planning and doing horrible things while the police are completely unaware. I picked up the local paper in Starbucks and looked at the headlines of all the big papers too. I just wanted to check if there were any missing people or bodies found or any big accidents I didn’t hear about that I need to be worried about. I don’t think there was anything. There was a big car crash up north somewhere where a child died and a man was injured. They didn’t mention any women in the cars. I don’t think you have any family that far up north anyway. I can’t picture that. That didn’t really ease my worries though. The police probably wouldn’t know if something had happened to you anyway. I got on my old bike and rode around trying to get the energy out of my body and just looking everywhere I could think of. It was already dark this afternoon and I wasn’t wearing enough layers and it started to rain but I wasn’t bothered about that. I just wanted to get through the rain and find you. I rode up and down the high street and went through the park too but it was pretty empty there. I went round the back of the industrial estate and rode around the car park there but you weren’t there either. I had to come back when it got too dark to see anything. It was getting a bit pointless. I didn’t notice how wet I was until I got in. My clothes were all clinging to me and my arms were freezing. I’m warming up a tiny bit now but it’s just making me feel weird. I don’t want to feel ok when I don’t know you’re ok. Sophia I love you. I’m finding it hard to focus Sophia. My nose is running and I need to warm up somehow or I’ll just get worse. I know that doesn’t matter but I need to be able to focus to make sure you are ok.
I love you.
Yours,
Andrew