TW: Rape, Underage, and Swearing
Her first life had been a complete and utter disaster. As the rest of the queens could attest.
Katherine always thought she was going to lead a miserable life with a husband. And in the first life that had been true.
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Henry Mannox.
She was young and impressionable. She genuinely thought that he'd cared for her.
How wrong she'd been.
'Please, I love you. If you really love me, you'll do this with me.'
Katherine learned that when someone says 'if you really love me', they don't love you.
_________
Francis Dhereham
She was young, but she certainly wasn't 13. It was sad that was something to be noted. He'd been handsome and reserved. She'd thought that she could make him love her.
How wrong she'd been.
'Stop talking and bend over. I'm not in the mood to talk right now.'
Katherine learned that sometimes people were exactly as they seemed.
______
Henry Tudor
She was 17 when she married him. At first he was kind and paid her attention, he managed to convince her that he loved her.
How wrong she'd been.
'You think I love you? Ha. Now get on the bed. I need an heir.'
Katherine learned that some people were as terrible as they looked.
_______
Thomas Culpepper
She was married to Henry when she met him. He'd been kind, and hadn't asked for anything other than her thoughts. He'd been her friend.
How wrong she'd been.
'I want you. So I'm gonna get you. No matter what stands in my way.'
Katherine learned that some people were liars. And only wanted you for your body.
______
All these experiences combined taught Katherine something else.
That your head being forcibly removed from your body fucking sucks .
_______
Reincarnation.
That threw Katherine for a loop.
Which was unsurprising considering Katherine was stupid her whole life.
(Even though she barely even had a life to begin with.)
_______
Anna of Cleves
Katherine was 22. It felt nice to grow old enough to not be a teenager. Anna was nice. She'd known her in her old life. She'd been nice then too. When Anna told her that she had a crush on her, Katherine's heart sunk. She'd thought Anna was going to be like everyone else.
How wrong she'd been.
'Hey liebling come cuddle with me, I'm watching Mean Girls and people are being rude about it. So I need affection ASAP'
'I love you, but seriously you are so fucking drunk right now, so I'm gonna have to force you to go to sleep.'
'We don't have to do anything you don't want to Kitten. We can just lay here and watch that abomination of a movie series that you like. What is it called Twilight ?'
Katherine learned that some people were smart, kind, and loved Katherine. And meant it.
________
Anna was laughing as Katherine pouted at her.
"It's not funny."
"It totally is."
"You're so mean to me."
Anna laughed and pulled her close. Katherine nuzzled herself into Anna. "So, how am I doing?"
"Considering that you're bullying me on our date? Not well."
Anna just laughed and kissed her.
______
"This is a disaster . An absolute disaster."
"Don't be so negative."
"The store security arrested us Anna."
"And?"
"They thought that we were planning to rob them."
"I mean we sounded like it."
"That's because you started a joke about robbing the place, and I stupidly played along."
"I know you think this is a little funny."
"Shut up. You are going to have to explain to Jane why we got arrested instead of bringing back the groceries."
"Oh shit."
_______
"Hahahahahahahahaha. I - I can't breath."
"I hate you. It's official."
"You set the stove on fire !"
"I've never learned to cook. Stop laughing at me."
______
"Get it off!"
"What?"
"The bug!"
"Seriously?"
"It's a cockroach , and it's the most terrifying thing ever to exist!"
"You've been beheaded, but you can't stand a cockroach?"
"Yes! Now get it off!"
______
Anna walked up to Katherine approachably.
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"I love that you just apologized even though you clearly still think I'm wrong."
"You're never wrong."
"Smart girl."
"Where are you taking me?"
"Bedroom."
"Why?"
"Have you ever heard of make up sex ?"
"Oh. Continue."
_______
"I literally just said hi."
"She was flirting with you."
"How do you know that?"
"I just do."
"Okay, fine. I won't talk to her. Happy?"
"Yes."
________
"Nope."
"What?"
"Move over."
"Why?"
"That's my side of the bed."
"You're joking."
"........"
" Oh my god you're totally serious."
________
"I would never propose in such a flashy way."
"Okay."
"Hey Katherine?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't you think your last name sounds weird."
"Excuse Me?"
"What?"
"What's your sudden issue with my last name?"
"Nothing. Just asking."
"Okay then. What last name would be better?"
"Cleves."
"......."
"You did not just propose to me like that. Try again."
________
"You're beautiful."
"As you've said about a million times tonight."
"It's true!"
"You know what else is true?"
"What?"
"You are wasted ."
"Am not - oof!"
"You just tripped over nothing ."
"Okay fine. I'm wasted."
_______
Katherine always thought she was going to have a husband.
Well, the jokes on the male species.
She has a wife.
Next Up:
Araleyn
- AraleynTrash