Chapter 42
Zayn and I sat down in the back lounge of the bus. He shut the door giving us privacy from the others. I sat down on the black leather couch while Zayn just stood there, leaning against the wall.
"So, where do we start?" Zayn asked as he ran a hand through his dark hair.
"I guess I'll just start with Alex and I." I shrugged. Zayn nodded in response, "So you know how Alex and I are JUST friends. And I really mean that. We're JUST friends." I really emphasized on the 'Just friends' part because I had a feeling he thought the rumors were true.
"I know he's interested in you. I can just tell. I really don't like that guy."
I stood up and put my hand on his arm. Zayn dropped his eyes to avoid eye contact. I sighed, "Zayn, hey, looked at me," I said calmly. Zayn slowly brought his eyes up to look at mine, "Zayn, I love you. I would never cheat on you. I wouldn't even think of that. Alex was just trying to help me."
"Help you what? Get rid of your boyfriend," Zayn huffed and moved around me to sit down on the couch.
I let out a breath of disbelief, "Are you serious?" I turned to face him, "Zayn, are you crazy? I was just so upset about you being gone on tour. I spent the first three weeks in my bed crying, missing you like hell! God, it hurt so bad to know you were on the other side of the god damn world! And you think I would cheat on you? Cheat on you! You must think I'm some heartless bitch!"
"Stella, I don't think you're a heartless bitch," He muttered out.
"It sure sounds like you do. I hang out with one guy one time and I'm cheating on you! When all I was trying to do was actually get myself out of bed and stop missing you. Yes, I still missed you so much but I can't spend four months doing that! When I heard about you and Perrie I didn't think you were cheating. Yeah sure I had my doubts but that was because of Perrie. I trust you, not her."
Zayn put his head and his hands and waited a while till he lifted it back up, "In New York, I ran into Perrie at Starbucks. We talked for a little bit and had a goodbye hug. Someone got a picture of it and people thought we were back together. Management thought if Perrie and I hung out it'd make the fans happy and give us more publicity. It was never meant for us to get back together, though. It was only to hang out as friends. Nothing more. I'm sorry."
I sat down next to him wrapping my arm around his shoulders, "I'm sorry too." I whispered, "I hate this. I feel like management hates us together. I feel like they'll do anything to separate us."
"I know. But you know they can't right? They won't break us." Zayn said to me, staring at me.
I didn't return the eye contact though. I just nodded.
"You do know that right? Management won't break us up."
"What if they do? What if they force you to break up with me? What if they threaten you in some way you can't refuse so you HAVE to break up with me. I don't want to have worry about all that. I don't know if I can do it."
"What do mean? Are you saying you want to break up?"
I stood up and started to pace, "I don't know. I just think it'll keep both of us safe for a while. I mean the media is all over us right now and management obviously doesn't approve. I just don't know anymore."
Zayn stood up and put his hands on my arms to stop me from pacing, "Don't talk like that. Please. I don't want to break up with you.That will just kill me. I love you more than anything. Don't leave me." Zayn's eyes held my attention. His eyes were begging me to stay. He voice shook as he talked.
I shook my head. I was on the verge of tears. One escaped and slowly rolled down my cheek, "I don't know what to do. I'm scared, Zayn."
Zayn wiped away the tear, "I know. I'm scared to too. I scared you're going to leave me. I'm scared management will take you away from me. I never want to lose you. I will do anything in my power to keep you cause I love you Stella. I need you."
"I love you too," I whimpered.
"Then don't leave me. If you do both you and I will be a wreck. It won't help us at all. I'll just sit there all day while I feed on a tub of ice cream," Zayn cracked a smile.
I let out a giggle, "I'd probably do the same."
Zayn chuckled, "See? That won't be good for us. Why do it alone when we could do it together."
I smiled and threw my arms around him for a hug, "I'm never going to leave you." I said into his neck.
Zayn's grip on me tightened as we hugged, "I'm never going to leave you either."
Zayn pulled away and and then brought me back in for a kiss. The kiss was sweet and slow because we knew both we would have plenty of time together.
We parted lips. Zayn rested his forehead on mine and whispered, "Forever?"
I nodded my head slightly, "Forever."
Zayn cocked his head at the door, asking me if I wanted to go out where everybody else was. I nodded and opened the door. Everyone's heads turned to us as we walked out. Even Harry's and Niall's whose eyes were previously glued to the video game they were playing. No one said anything. They were waiting for Zayn and I to say something.
I looked at Zayn and said, "I want to take a nap. Where's your bunk?"
Zayn pointed the bunk that was right next to me, "Right here."
I nodded and crawled in with the help of Zayn. He shut the curtains, leaving a little crack open. No one had said anything yet. I looked out the little space that was uncovered and saw that Zayn put his finger up his lips to tell our friends to keep quiet. I cracked a smile and shut my eyes.
****
"We should go! All we have is an interview and then the day is ours!" I heard Louis shout from the other room.
I rolled over in the hotel bed and crawled my way out of the tangled up sheets. The boys usually always have a couple of days in California which is why Zayn wanted me to come since we'd be in one place for a while. I walked out of the bedroom, as is, to the boys.
"Hey, morning love!" Harry shouted happily once he laid eyes on me.
"Morning," I sang.
"Lovin' the bed head," Niall snickered.
"Thanks. I'm trying to start a trend," I smirked at him.
"Go out like that and it'll be a trend within one day," Niall chuckled.
I giggled and made my way over to Zayn. He motioned for me to sit on his lip. I obeyed, his arms wrapping around me.
"Where's Em?" I asked, mainly looking at Harry.
"She went to get breakfast from downstairs," He said as he scrolled through his Twitter on his phone.
"Ah," I nodded, "So what were you guys talking about? You going somewhere?"
"Louis wants to go to the beach," Zayn replied.
"The beach? But it's chilly out!" I said.
"That's what I said!" Liam said.
"Yeah, but it could be fun. Beaches are fun!" Louis defended.
"I've never been to a beach actually," My eyes squinted in thought.
"See! That's why we should go!" Louis shouted.
"I say we should do it!" Niall spoke up.
"Yeah, why the hell not?" Harry shrugged.
Zayn sighed, "I'll agree to it."
Liam and I looked at each other since we were the only ones left to say anything.
Liam looked at Louis, "If we go we have to wait for Danielle and Eleanor. Dani texted me a while ago saying their plane landed. They should be here soon."
"That's totally fine! We still got the interview anyway!" Louis shouted excitedly.
"You're up for it, right Stell?" Zayn asked as he pinched my waist.
"I didn't bring a bathing suite."
"Ah! That's no problem! There are plenty of shops we could go to," Louis said.
I bit my lip, "Let me think about it, okay?" I got up from Zayn's lap and went back into the bedroom, closing the door behind me.
I sat down on the unmade bed. If I wear a bikini my scar will be out for everyone to see. I'm fine with Zayn, Emily, and Harry but no one else knows my story. I could get a one piece or even a tankini. I heard the door open and turned my head around. Zayn walked in, closing the door. He sat down beside me.
"What's up?" He asked.
"I don't want to wear a bathing suit," I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.
"And why is that?" He asked even though he already knew the answer.
"My scar," I mumbled.
"I know you aren't comfortable about that. But it isn't right to hide away. Honestly, I think you should show it. It symbolizes how strong you are. I mean it's amazing you survived that and it's amazing you had the courage to confront your dad about it. I say we should but you a two piece bathing suit and go to the beach."
"You just want to see me in a bikini," I mumbled with a smile.
Zayn chuckled, "Yes, that's one benefit from it. But I seriously think you should do it. It's like conquering a fear of yours. It'll be good for you."
I paused from answering, "I'll think about it," I said.
Zayn kissed the top my head, "It's your choice." Then he got up and went for the door, "El and Dani might come when we're gone so look out for them."
I nodded, "Okay, have fun at your interview."
Zayn smiled his beautiful smile, "I will. Later babe," Then he left shutting the door on his way out.
When he left, I went to clean up and get ready for the day. I came out of the bedroom and found Emily watching TV while eating her complementary breakfast.
"Hey Em," I greeted while I grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge.
"Oh, hey Stella," She replied with her mouth full.
I giggled and sat next to her, "So we're going to the beach today."
"What? But it'll be cold," She whined.
"That's what I said but everyone else agreed. And Eleanor and Danielle are suppose to be coming soon."
"But bathing suits," Emily said as she stuffed her mouth with scrambled eggs.
"Louis said we could go shopping for some,"
"But your sc-" Emily started to say but I interrupted.
"I decided I'll show it. I'll wear a bikini and not worry about it."
"You sure?"
I nodded my head and Emily pulled me in for a hug, "I'm proud of you, Stell."
"Thanks Em," I smiled.
A knock on the door caused us to separate. I got up and walked over to the door, looking through the little peep hole. I saw Eleanor and Danielle's little faces. I opened the door and greeted them with hugs. They walked and gave Emily hugs as well.
"That flight was exhausting!" Danielle said as she dramatically fell onto the couch.
"I know and we still have to go back," I sit with her.
"Can't wait for that," Eleanor huffed.
"So guess what your boyfriend wants to do?" Emily said to Eleanor.
A smile came across her face, "What does he want to do now?"
"Go to the beach."
"My god, of course he does," Eleanor laughed.
"So, Stella and I need to get bathing suits. Do you guys?"
"Yeah, I didn't even think of going to the beach," Danielle said as she stood up.
"Alright, let's go now then, while the boys are at their interview," I said, standing up as well.
We grabbed our bags and left the hotel to find some bathing suits. We decided to make it easy and cheap on ourselves and just go to Target. When we got there, the three of them went straight towards the bikinis. I hesitated at first and glanced over at the one piece bathing suits.
Emily noticed, "Hey, Stell, you gonna look?"
I looked over at her and nodded. I slowly walked over and scanned through the racks of all the bathing suits. Emily found a red bathing suit that she wanted within minutes. Eleanor and Danielle found one shortly after too. I was still deciding but not deciding on what pattern or color I wanted. I was still deciding wether I should get a bikini or not. Emily helped me look as Eleanor and Danielle checked out.
"Hey what about this one?" Emily held up a black bathing suit top that had three gold studs going down the center and the bottom had two studs attached to the sides.
"That's cute," I said honestly. I took it from her hands and just looked at it debating if I should get it or not.
"Get it Stell," Emily whispered.
I looked up at her and nodded. She linked her arm with mine as we walked towards the checkout. We paid for the suits and got a cab back to the hotel. When we walked through the door, we heard shouting and yelling. We turned the corner and saw the boys yelling at the TV.
"Whoa, what's going on here?" Emily asked.
Harry turned his attention over to us, "Soccer," was all he said then brought his attention back to the TV.
"We still going to the beach?" I shouted over their yelling.
"Yeah, we'll go just hold on," Louis said, not bothering to look at us.
I let out a exasperated sigh, "We'll get ready."
The girls and I went to the bedroom to get ready. It took us only about a twenty minutes. I threw on shorts and grey crew neck sweater over my bathing suit. We went back out and the boys were still glued to the TV.
I rolled my eyes and stood behind Zayn who was sitting on the couch. I put my hands on his shoulders and slowly wrapped them around him, "Hey babe, the girls and I really want to get going," I whispered in his ear.
"Yeah, we'll go soon." Zayn said carelessly.
"But Zayn, come on. I got my bathing suit and everything," I whispered.
Zayn finally looked at me, "Two piece?" I know that meant my scar when he said two piece and not how I looked in it.
I nodded and Zayn shot up, "Well, lads I think it's about time to go!" He picked up the remote and turned off the TV.
"AYEE!" All the boys yelled.
"We have a beach to go," Zayn said.
All the boys let out grumbles as they went to change.
"Thanks," I gave Zayn a kiss on the cheek as he passed by.
Zayn smiled and went to the bedroom. The boys came out within ten minutes and we all left to go to the beach. Louis and Harry decided that we'd go to El Matador Beach. The drive was a little less than an hour long. We jumped out of the van once we were there, stretching as each of us stepped on to the sand. Since it wasn't really that warm out, the beach was pretty much ours. Barely anyone was there, only two other couples. We chose a spot to set down all our stuff and that's when the other girls started taking off their cover ups. I stayed in my shorts and sweater, not wanting to take it off. The boys also peeled off their shirts and Harry was the first one to run into the water. Emily shortly followed him. I sat down on a towel bring my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Zayn came and sat next to me.
"You going to come in the water?" He cocked his head towards the ocean.
I shrugged, "I don't know."
"Come on, it'll be fun. I know you can do this. They're your friends. They aren't going to judge you or hurt you."
I looked at him for a little bit and stood up. I unbuttoned my shorts and slid them down my legs. Zayn watched me as I did. I let out a breath and took the bottoms of my sweater in my hands. I slowly lifted it up, pulling it over my head. My scar was out to show now. Zayn stood up and his eyes traveled down me then back up to my eyes.
"You look beautiful," He whispered, resting his hand on my cheek.
My cheeks went pink as I said, "Thank you," and leaned in to kiss him.
After we pulled away, he took my hand and started running towards the water.
"Zayn, it's gonna be cold!" I shouted.
"I don't care!" He laughed.
I let go of his hand once he ran into the water. He dove in, his body disappearing under water. His face popped up as he floated.
"Come on babe!" He called out to me.
"Isn't it cold?"
"Nah, it perfect!" He grinned.
"Still no!" I shook my head.
"Aw, you bought that bathing suit for nothing then!" He swam towards and then walked to me once he was on shore.
"Don't you dare come close to me, Malik," I warned, taking a step back.
"What you going to do?" He teased and came closer.
I started to run away and followed closely behind. I ran around Liam and Danielle who were laying on a towel together. Niall noticed Zayn chasing him and decided he'd help, who I might add was soaking wet too.
"Ahh!" I screamed as Niall came close to catching me. He laughed showing off his teeth. He gave up after a while, leaving Zayn to do it himself.
I came close to the shore and that's when Zayn caught me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up.
"Zayn let me down!" I laughed, trying to pry his hands off me.
"No way!" He said as he walked us into the water.
The water splashed on me causing me to let out tiny squeals. Zayn was such a liar. The water was terribly cold.
"Hold your breath, babe," He said.
"Wha-?" I started to say but the rush of cold from the water surrounding me caused me to stop. Zayn brought us back up to the surface and finally let me go.
"I hate you," I smirked as I pushed the wet strands of hair away from my face.
Zayn took me in his arms, "Mm, love you too." He leaned in to kiss me and I decided to play with him. I leaned in slightly. As he came closer, I splashed him with as much water as I could. He backed away, wiping his face with his hand.
"Oh, I'm going to get you for that!" He laughed and swam towards me.
We swam for a little bit longer but as we got colder we made our way out. I wrapped myself in a towel, shivering from the water.
"You guys want to start a fire?" Liam asked.
"That'd be cool. We just need to find some sticks," Emily said.
"We'll get some," Harry said as he pointed to Louis and Liam.
"Alright, find some quick. Stella's freezing her bum off over here," Zayn joked as he wrapped his arms around me to help warm me up.
They nodded and rushed off the find some sticks. They shortly returned, their hands full. They set them down and Zayn pulled out his lighter from his bag. He brought it towards the sticks. The fire started slow but eventually turned into a rather big fire. The sun started to set, making everything better.
"I feel like we need to sing some songs," Danielle joked.
Niall took it seriously and said, "My guitar is in the back of the van. Should I get it?"
We all looked at each other then back to Niall. We all nodded, telling him to get it. He got up and ran to the van. He came back, guitar in hand.
"What should we sing?" Harry asked, his arm around Emily.
"I got it. You lads just follow along," Niall smirked. He began strumming he strings of the guitar. The boys all grinned as they realized what song it was.
Harry opened his mouth to start,
Do you remember summer '09
Wanna go back there every night,
Just can't lie, was the best time of my life,
Lying on the beach as the sun blew out,
Playing this guitar by the fire too loud,
Oh my, my, they could never shut us down.
Then Louis,
I used to think that I was better alone,
Why did I ever wanna let you go?
Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea,
The words you whispered I will always believe
The rest of the boys joined in,
I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah,
I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah,
I want you to hit the pedal, heavy metal, show me you care
I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah
A smile came onto Liam's face when he started to sing,
We were together summer '09,
Wanna roll back like pressing rewind,
You were mine and we never said goodbye
Louis laughed when Eleanor poked him indicating he was next to sing,
I used to think that I was better alone,
Why did I ever wanna let you go?
Under the moonlight as we stared at the sea,
The words you whispered I will always believe
The boys came together again for the chorus,
I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah
I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah
I want you to hit the pedal, heavy metal, show me you care
I want you to rock me, rock me, rock me, yeah
They finished the song and Danielle, Eleanor, Emily, and I clapped and woohoo'ed.
"You guys should really start a band," Danielle joked.
We all laughed along and continued to sit around the fire. Louis had the genius idea to tell ghost stories. Harry started with one that wasn't so scary but then Niall started tell one and I was scared as hell. I cuddled up closer to Zayn as the story became more intense.
Zayn tightened his arm around me, kissed the top of my head and said, "Don't worry. I'll protect you."
And I knew when he said that he didn't mean protect me for the story. He meant from everything else. From management. From the rumors. From anything that could separate us.
_________________________
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! If you don't celebrate it then Happy Thursday! I gave you guys a long chapter today. Also, I'm thinking this story is coming to an end. I have only a few more ideas which means only a few more chapters. So hope you guys like this one. Be sure to vote and comment! Oh and obviously the song is not mine. All credit goes to One Direction.
Thanks guys(: