Kat's POV-
"You know what they said isn't true, right? You look beautiful tonight... You always do," Erik said as he looked over at me briefly before focusing back on the road.
I scoffed and looked away to the dark window. "Oh yeah? Is that why they kicked me out of the party? Is that why they treat me the way that they do? Because I'm beautiful... No. They kicked me out because I didn't lose the weight that I was supposed to and showed up with a leg that is less than perfect looking. I'm always less than perfect looking."
The champagne hadn't completely kicked in yet, but I could feel the numb weighted feeling from it trying to creep in. I welcomed it with open arms. I needed the drunken feeling to completely take me over. I needed to mute the harsh feelings that were always lingering in my mind. I felt useless and unloved. I was a waste of space...
"Kat, are you happy?" Erik asked in a slow and careful manner while refusing to look over at me.
"Obviously," I spoke with sarcasm in my tone and a sardonic smile on my face.
"Are your parents happy?" He asked in the same careful voice as the first question. It was almost like he was afraid that one wrong word would make me jump out of the car.
I could just imagine my mother's enraged face if I were to do that and come home with all those scrapes and bruises. Who knows, maybe they'd be so severe that I'd die. What a relief to everyone that would be. I had to physically hold my hand back from reaching to the door handle due to my new line of thoughts.
"Kat?" He asked after I had not answered immediately.
I let out an exaggerated laugh and shook my head vigorously. "Maybe when I'm not around they're happy," I answered finally.
"But you're doing what your parents want, right? You show up when they say to show up, wear what they want you to wear, say what they want you to say..." he trailed off gently.
"Yes. But, I mean, obviously not correctly though," I slurred my words slightly. It let me know that the effects of the alcohol on my empty stomach were finally starting to take over.
I truly didn't understand what I was doing wrong for them. I had always tried my best to do the things that they had wanted from me. Just me being alive seemed to piss them off. They wanted a son or the perfect daughter. I was never going to be perfect; it just wasn't me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it right.
"Maybe you should just do what you want to do then," Erik told me with a shrug.
I turned to look at him with a confused look. I didn't understand exactly what he meant.
"I'm just saying... You're not happy with what you're doing. Your parents aren't happy with what you're doing, and frankly, I don't think they're ever going to be happy. So, I don't know... Maybe you should just say fuck it to whatever your parents want and do whatever it is that you want to do. I mean, right now none of you are happy. So, I just think that you might as well just make yourself happy if you can't make them happy," he clarified.
I pursed my lips and held a very serious look on my face. "I don't think it's that simple, but..." I trailed off.
I sighed and shrugged while contemplating his suggestion over and over again. I mean, it was logical... They were obviously going to hate me either way, so it made sense to give them a reason to do so.
I nodded. "Maybe I should," I whispered more to myself than him. It was something that I had never given myself permission to think of doing before.
I had felt hopeless for all my life. I just wanted to be a normal person with a normal life. I didn't want to be Katherine Reynolds. I just wanted to be me, and maybe it was time to start living like that. Maybe it was time to start realizing that I was important too. It wasn't about only whatever my parents wanted me to be.
"I just-" he paused as he stopped at a red stop light and turned to me. "I want to see you happy. I don't like it when you cry. It- It, I don't know... I don't like the feeling I get from it," he said as he held my gaze.
His dark eyes looked amazing in the reflected car lights from in front of us as we stared at each other. I could see the care for me there in his eyes. It was genuine care that I had seen from so few in my life.
Did Erik Jones actually care about me? That was a crazy thought.
After a few moments of us simply looking at each other, neither one of us ever tore our gazes from the other even once, a car horn sounded from behind us. Erik ripped his eyes away from mine and began driving once again while shaking his head slightly and blinking rapidly.
The car ride was silent as he continued to drive me home. I welcomed the drunk numbing feeling that was finally overtaking me just like I wanted it to. Thank goodness, I needed that feeling in that moment. I needed it to lessen the feelings of utter worthlessness that I had in my heart. I needed it to quiet my berating mind. I could still hear my mother's shrill insults ringing in my head. It was all so loud.
Erik pulled up to the gate that was at the entrance to my neighborhood. The same security guard was there that had been there the last time he dropped me off. The man instantly recognized Erik and let him through with no questions. He had barely even looked to see if I was in the car with him.
Erik laughed heartily as soon as he made it through the gate. It was a velvety deep laugh that made my insides melt with attraction. He definitely needed to laugh more often, it suited him.
I turned my gaze to him and tilted my head in question, wondering what had been so funny. I was amazed that he was being so openly expressive with me in the car with him. It went against everything that I had ever heard about Erik. Then again... Everything that I had ever heard about Erik Jones was not what seemed to be the truth. I was realizing that more as I spent more time with him.
"You must've made a lasting impression on him for him to just wave me on through like that. You scared the poor man," he said before he chuckled again. "I'm going to have to keep you around as a bodyguard. You're obviously way more effective than I am."
I smiled goofily back at him and shrugged. "He deserved it; I have no regrets."
He pulled up to my house and parked in the driveway just like he had done the last time he had dropped me off. I found myself wanting this to be more than just an every so often occurrence. I genuinely liked his company and found him easy to talk to.
"Thank you again, Erik. I guess you're turning into my knight in shiny armor," I said with a goofy grin.
"I'm no knight, Kat. Far from it," he replied.
I shrugged. "I see what I see, and what I see is a good man," I told him before squeezing his hand affectionately. "Thank you... for everything."
I opened the door and got out of the car. What I hadn't expected was the alcohol to hit me all at once as soon as I stood up. A wave of dizziness washed over me, and I immediately hit the ground. I groaned as I waited for the dizzy spell to pass so I could get up and continue walking. Maybe two full bottles of champagne on an empty stomach were not such a wonderful idea...
"Shit Kat," I heard Erik say and his car door open and close. Still, the world was spinning a bit too fast for me. "Are you okay?" He asked when he got to me and crouched down to see my face better.
I opened one eye and stayed down on the concrete to look at him. "Next time, remind me to eat a bit before I chug two bottles of champagne, yeah?"
Erik chuckled at me and shook his head in exasperation. "Yeah, that would be wise. Come on, Princess, I'll help you."
I rolled my eyes as I clumsily grasped the hand that he was offering to me. "I am not a princess," I protested.
"You are way more of a princess than I am a knight," he answered playfully as he pulled me into his body and slung an arm around my waist to help guide me. I instantly felt butterflies at his closeness.
I narrowed my heavy eyes at him as he smiled at me cheekily. "Fine, I'll compromise. Not a knight in shiny armor... A-" I paused and was looking for better words to describe him as. "My dark knight."
He busted out laughing and shook his head in amusement. "That's racist, Kat."
I elbowed him playfully and gave him an unimpressed look when we finally made it to my front door. "That is not how I meant it and you know it, you jerk!"
I couldn't help the laugh that slipped through my lips. Erik seemed to know just how to keep my mind off things and make me laugh even when things were going so incredibly wrong. I really appreciated that about him so much.
"I meant my dark knight because you seem to think that you're some big bad wolf type of dude. However, knights are still usually chivalrous, and you have been nothing but chivalrous to me so... Here we are!" I said exaggeratedly and stuck my tongue out at him childishly.
He grinned at me and shook his head in an amused manner before teasing me more, "Yes, well, you are still a princess, Princess."
He shrugged and tapped my nose affectionately making me blink at him in surprise. I hadn't ever expected such a gentle and childish mannerism to come from him, it was endearing how playful he could be. No one would have ever expected the big bad Erik Jones to be playful... Especially with someone like me.
After a few moments of me trying to put the code into our fancy digital lock and me failing several times, Erik sighed and pulled my hand back exasperatedly. "Just tell me the code. I promise I won't break in and steal anything," he finally told me.
"I don't care if you do, just as long as you take me with you when you go," I said without thinking and blushed instantly at my thoughtless words. I told him the code shyly.
He put the code in, not acknowledging my awful flirting- if we can even call it that. The door unlocked and he opened it for me. He hesitated to come inside my house as I stepped in it, but he caught me by the arm when I tripped over the doorframe, so he was forced inside to steady me again.
"Well, I was going to ask you if you could make it from here, but obviously you can't," he commented dryly.
"Pshhh, I'm fine!" I slurred sloppily. "Okay, even I heard how fucked up I sounded in that statement," I giggled stupidly. "But don't worry about it! I'm good. I'll make it to my room just fine."
"You're going to feel this tomorrow," he commented, ignoring my assurances that I was fine and putting an arm back around me. He looked around the immaculately decorated house and cringed slightly. "Homey..." he said sarcastically about the décor.
"Yeah, well, trust me... I had no say about the home decorations. But nah, I usually don't get hangovers unless it's like bad, bad. I'm only like this right now because I haven't eaten in a while," I explained before I pointed Erik towards the stairs to get up to my room. "I usually don't even get dizzy or clumsy when I'm drunk, just numb. It's such a good feeling to feel like that sometimes, you know... But it turns out that not eating fucks you up... who knew?"
"Literally everyone, Kat," Erik said with a skeptical look at me and walked us over to the stairs. "And how do you know all of this about drinking? Do you get drunk a lot? And when was the last time you ate then?"
"You just seen how they treat me, yeah? You'd get drunk a lot too if you had to be around them for more than half a second... trust me."
"And the food?" He pressed. "When is the last time you ate?"
I stayed silent for a second and looked away, but Erik just scrutinized me even more and even paused at the steps. "It's been a while..." I said quietly.
"And how long is a while?" He asked in a serious and dark tone that made my stomach flutter.
"A few...." I paused and looked at the floor. "...days," I finished quietly.
Erik took a sharp breath in, and I could see his jaws clench. "Why?" I could hear the restrain in his voice as he swallowed thickly.
"Umm, well... I had to lose the weight to fit into the dress. It was a requirement from the designer and my mom. It was pointless anyways.... You saw the way I looked tonight; I obviously didn't lose enough."
Erik grabbed me gently by the shoulders and held me at arm's length. "Kat, listen to me... You are so fucking beautiful. This dress," he gestured to my body and looked me up and down causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach. "...fits perfectly, and every single person in that place had their eyes on you tonight because you look so absolutely flawless." He touched my cheek and brushed some hair from my face. "There is no reason to ever starve yourself. You are so damn gorgeous; you don't ever need to do that. Please don't do that."
I was speechless as we stood there and looked at each other wordlessly. He was breathing heavily as he stared at me. When he looked at me, I could feel him seeing me. Me, not Katherine Reynolds... just me.
He gestured for me to take a step onto the stairs, but I instantly stumbled making him roll his eyes at me. "Just let me carry you, it'll be a lot more efficient that way," he said with an endearing smile on his face.
"Erik no, I'm way too heavy for you to carry me up all these stairs."
He snorted and swept me off my feet without a second's hesitation. "Kat... Shut up," he said with a playful smile and began walking up the stairs with no strain. "I think we've established that you are just fine the way you are. In fact, I feel a little attacked that you didn't think that I could carry you up these stairs. Way to emasculate me."
I rolled my eyes and rested my still-slightly-spinning head on his shoulder. "My room is down at the end," I told him lazily and breathed in his scent. It was a manly aroma with pine and something sweet. It was intoxicating.
He brought me to my room and opened the door. He paused and looked at it for a minute. I knew that it probably wasn't what he had been expecting. It wasn't all pretty and nice like the rest of the house. My room was the only room in the house that I had control over. It was a bit unorganized and filled to the brim with records, CD's, and books. It was my personal oasis. The only place that I could be me.
"Are you a vampire? Do you have to be invited? Come in," I said sarcastically.
"What if I am? You just invited me in. Now I can have free reign at you in your room."
"Well let's just hope that this is more like one of those slasher movies and not one of those stupid teen romances. A relationship with a vampire is way too impractical and complicated. Just kill me and get it over with. But you are way too warm to be a vampire anyways," I said and nuzzled my face into his neck without thinking about it as he chuckled and walked with me still in his arms into my room.
"And here I was thinking that you actually liked me... Instead, you'd rather me kill you. How disappointing," he joked.
I threw my head back laughing loudly and clutched at my stomach. "Only if you're a vampire, otherwise..." I wiggled my eyebrows and shrugged as I laughed without thinking about my words once again. I finally stopped laughing and found him studying me intently. "What?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Nothing..." Erik said with a small smirk. "Just admiring you. You don't smile near enough."
I blushed at his intense gaze and words before looking down at my lap, I quickly realized that he was still cradling me in his arms even though we were right next to my bed. He had officially gotten me to my room safe and sound... There was no other reason for me to keep him from his already ruined-by-me night. I felt oddly disappointed.
"Right... Well, I guess this is me. You can see yourself out, right?"
Erik cleared his throat and nodded shakily. "Um Yeah..." He answered awkwardly.
He looked around one last time and then bent down to set me on my bed gently. It had felt so nice to be in his arms, and I was sorely disappointed that he was leaving.
"Thank you, Erik," I said when my bottom touched the bed. He avoided my gaze, so I kept my arms around his neck and moved his face to look at me to make sure that he knew that I meant it. "Seriously, Erik... Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you there to rescue me once again."
Our eyes locked and we were barely inches apart. I'm not sure who leaned in and closed the few inches first. Maybe it was even just a simultaneous thing or something. I'm not sure. All I knew was that his lips were suddenly on mine and nothing else mattered.
At first the kiss was slow and unsure, like neither one of us wanted to push the other too far. But before too long, I could feel both of us pushing up against each other for more. More passion, more fire, more him, more me, just more. I needed everything that he'd give me, and I'd give him anything that he wanted.
His lips were plump and soft as they moved against mine. I couldn't help the soft whimper that came from me when his tongue entered my mouth and warred with my own. My stomach burned with desire as a groan came from him when I grasped his shirt and pulled him on top of me in an odd bit of confidence.
His hands were warm as they stroked my hair, my waist, my neck, my thigh, slowly. I moaned at how amazing his hands felt, even on the places that my dress covered. He consumed me and it felt so damn right.
My hands somehow found his hard abs and I ran a light finger over them making him sigh heavily into the kiss. His lips moved from mine, and he kissed down my jaw to my neck and nipped softly at the sensitive skin earning another moan from me. My hips bucked on their own as he paid attention to that certain spot. Both of us moaned at the barely-there friction, and I could feel the hard line of his erection. My stomach fluttered excitedly at the thought.
His lips found mine again and he kissed me even more feverishly. I nipped at his lips, and he practically growled at me as I did it. It made me feel so damn powerful. Suddenly, without warning, he pulled away. I couldn't help the wanton whimper that left my mouth.
"What?" I asked and sat up to see him better. He was already off the bed and pacing the width of my bedroom.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what came over me," he said frantically without even looking at me.
"What?" I asked and tilted my head questioningly. I didn't understand even a little bit.
"I shouldn't have done that. I should not have let myself do that."
"Erik, what the hell is the matter with you?" I asked and tried to get up from the bed, but I was still a bit too dizzy to stand. That time, I wasn't sure if it was the champagne or the breathtaking kiss that caused the dizziness though.
"That shouldn't have just happened. I'm sorry."
I finally caught his hand and made him stop pacing as he came closer to me. "Erik, I am fine. Nothing is wrong," I said and looked him in the eye to convey that it was all fine.
He stared at me intensely for a moment before I saw him visibly relax. He even nodded with a tiny smile. He looked like his normal self once again.
I smiled back because I thought it was all taken care of. I hadn't understood what had set him off, and frankly I didn't care either. I just wanted his amazing lips back on mine. So, I leaned forward to kiss him again, but he stepped back away from me quickly. I felt rejection bloom in my chest instantly.
"Oh... okay. I get it," I said and forced a smile.
"No, you don't, Kat," he answered and tried to grab my hand. I jerked away from him too quickly though and he missed it.
"Yes, I do. You don't want me," I nodded through my hurt and plastered on an even larger fake smile. I really didn't want to have to go through the rejection speech that I was sure he was about to give me. I could handle a lot, but I wasn't sure if I could handle that. "I get it. It's fine. You may leave. I'm sorry to have been a bother. I'll try to not be next time."
"No Kat..." Erik said firmly and caught my face in his hands. I couldn't hide the piling tears as he looked at me. I felt pathetic. "That's not it. I want you so damn bad. How could I not? You are so beautiful, sweet, and cool," he assured me before he shook his head and released my face.
"Okay? So, what then? I want you. Problem solved"
"You're drunk," he said simply.
"What?" I asked him in a confused manner. I still didn't understand.
"You are drunk, Kat. I don't know if you want me because you're drunk. Or maybe because I have been there for you tonight when you needed me. Or maybe it's even just to piss them off. All I know, is that you are not in your right state of mind right now and I can't be with you like this. It's wrong."
"B-but..."
He cut me off before I could even say anything. He simply caressed my cheek and smiled at me sweetly. "Talk to me when you're sober, and if you still want me... Then I'm all yours." He kissed my forehead and brushed some of my messy hair out of my face. "Don't let what your parents say to you get to you. Kat, you are stunning... Especially when you're being you. The you that you want to be. Not the fake version of you that they want you to be. Try to remember that, yeah?"
"Uh... okay," I said awkwardly. I had never had someone be so gentle with me before in all of my life.
He kissed my cheek one last time. "I'll see myself out. Get some sleep."
"Thank you, Erik."
"Goodnight, princess."
"Goodnight, Batman," I replied with a chuckle.
He paused while closing my door and looked at me weird. "You'll have to explain that one to me sometime later," he said with an eyebrow raised.
"It's a date," I replied smoothly.
"Only if you remember," I heard him grumble.
"I'm not that drunk!" I answered.
"You can barely walk," He deadpanned and shut my door behind him without waiting for a retort.
I wasn't that drunk. Dizzy, yes. Upset, yes. A little tipsy, yes. But not drunk.
I was dizzy mostly because the lack of food. I was upset because of my parents. I was tipsy because of the champagne. However, I was not drunk. It took much harder stuff or much more champagne to get me drunk like he thought I was... I was just going to have to prove it to him.
I wanted Erik. I had never wanted something so much in my life... And that was scary. To want something means that you have you care about it. To care about something means that it can hurt you. I couldn't handle much more hurt in my life. I already had too much as it was.
That was the thing though, Erik seemed to want to save me from hurt, and I wanted to let him. He wanted to make me happy. He had been right before... I wasn't happy, my parents weren't happy, no one was happy. I just wanted to be happy. So, that was exactly what I had decided to do... I was going to make myself happy.
A/n-
Hey y'all! I'm back! ☺️🤗😘 Sorry it's been so long! I am not 100% better (Probably will never be😒😓😭) BUT I am WAY better than I was! I am finally able to write again and mostly over my awful writer's block. I do have a new job and stuff though. 😤🤮 BUT I will be making time in my schedule to write SOOOO be looking out for new updates on ALL my stories! ☺️ Thank you SOOO much for reading! Your support means the whole world to me and all of y'alls comments and encouragements have been so amazing! 😘💕💕💕I love y'all! ❤️ Please don't forget to Vote, comment and share!
-KAF ❤️