Dallas
Throwback.
My heart shattered when I put the pieces together... my angel was pregnant with his child.
It's fucking unbelievable. She finally dumped him, nothing was stopping us from becoming a couple with him in Lapland. And now...
I can't give up so easily. I love her and real love overcomes the biggest obstacles. She didn't break up with Matt for no reason and she won't go back to him because of this, right? No, she ain't like that. I will take care of her and her child like it's my own if she lets me. We are meant to be.
I take my mug with coffee and sit on the couch. Nova will be here any minute now and I'm going to convince her that I'm the love she is searching for.
I think back to the day we met. How stupid did I feel not believing Hannah on her word? I had been waiting my whole life for this sensation to run through my veins. To know with one look you found the one.
Honestly, I thought that was all bullshit. A fairytale that only the luckiest of luckiest would experience. And with my lack of it, it would never happen. But there she was in all her glory. She took my breath away and blinded me with her light, the light of an angel.
She changed my life and turned it into something good. I would wake up and feel happy. I didn't need sleep to dream, because my dream was right next to me.
Many times I watched her and I swear it's like she moved in slow motion. Like my mind couldn't comprehend what it was seeing. She always caught me staring at her. I know she did the moment her cheeks turned into a deep apple red and her luscious lips shyly turned into a smile. Just big enough to show me the dimple in her left cheek. I love how her big green eyes would look at me and she asked under her breath, what?
That changed after a month and I know it was my fault. I waited too damn long and it made her insecure. If she only knew that in my mind I asked myself the same question over and over.
Angel, tell me. How can I tell you, that I love you more than my own life?
Many times my tongue was unable to talk. Especially when she touched me, then I couldn't even make a coherent sentence. I wished she would take my hand and lead me the way to her heart. But she didn't. I thought she kept on playing hard to get or that she's simply was not interested. How wrong was I?
I could never figure out what she was thinking, even less what she was feeling. You couldn't tell if she was happy or not. She could have been crying all night long and walk in with the biggest smile you had ever seen.
I'm thankful she eventually opened up to me and showed me the pain she is living in. She is strong, so strong. And I hope I took some pain away by being there for her. That she could deal better with her bad nights when she spends her evenings with me.
My feelings for her are as strong as the first day. I kept waiting patiently and still am. I admit it is hard and sometimes put me over. I know I did some fucked up mind games to make her doubt the relationship she had with Matt. But I want to be loved by her. I can't help it.
The ring of the doorbell startles me. I wonder how many times she already rang it. I open the door and pull her straight into a hug as soon as I see her trembling lower lip. Her body shakes against my chest and she sobs "Please, Dallas." pushing herself away from me.
She looks how I feel, devastated. I cup her face and plant a soft kiss against her forehead, whispering, "I know angel."
Her eyebrows furrow in front of my eyes and she stares at me."What do you mean?"
I lead her to the couch, not wanting this conversation taking place like this, and sit next to her. I take her hands in mine and slowly draw circles with my thumbs over her palms while her eyes scan me up and down.
"I've been racking my brain since this afternoon and it clicked when I pulled the shirt I gave you Friday night, out my laundry basket. You're tiredness, constant nausea, the need to throw up after smelling certain things." I feel tears burn behind my eyes and I need to swallow to get the words to leave my mouth. "You're pregnant."
Her whole face falls and she chokes. "I'm so sorry, Dallas."
I meet her watery eyes and wipe my own. No need to show her that I feel drained and make her more upset. I straighten my shoulders and ask the question that is lingering in my mind. "Does he know?"
She shakes her head and looks down. "No, and maybe he never will."
I feel relief, but it short-lived, realizing what she means. "You're not keeping it?" my eyes search her face for an answer. She can't do this. Not to herself, nor the child inside her. "Nova, you have to keep it. You always wanted to be a mother." I say rather harsh.
"Dallas, I'm scared!" she suddenly yells out. "I can't do this alone and I don't want to. I know that's fucking selfish Dallas, I know." and I see her break down in front of me for what feels like a hundred times.
I pull her hands "Shush, angel." and wrap my arms around her. "You're not alone. I'll be there."
She doesn't say a word. I force her face up after letting her be for a moment, to look her straight in the eye. She needs to know I'm serious about this. "Angel, please keep it. I'll take care of both of you."
"No, Dallas." shaking her head wildly. "I can't ask that from you!"
A smile spreads over my face. "You didn't ask me."
She keeps on shaking her head and tears roll down her cheeks. "No Dallas. You have to understand that I can't be with you. Not now and probably never. Honestly, you have to let me go, I'm not good for you."
I feel my stomach squeeze painfully. "So this." pointing between us. "That was all a lie. You never had any intention to start a relationship with me?"
She looks at me with sorrow in her eyes. My grip on her face tightens and I feel the muscles in my jaw twitch with the hurt I feel. My voice comes out more angry than I intend. "Nova! Tell me the truth. Did you ever have feelings for me? Or was I just easy to get over Matt? Tell me!"
His eyes go wide. "No. I had feelings for you. You're much more than just a friend to me. But..."
I watch her mouth, her full lips ending with the word, but. My body slumps when I understand what she was going to say. "But, I'm not Matt."
We stare at each other for a moment. I'm not ready for this. I'm not giving up so easily. "Nova, I mean what a said."
She sighs and displays a torn smile. "Dallas, please don't. You have so much to give to the right girl. But I'm not that girl."
You are, you just don't realize it yet. "I only want you," I admit.
She takes my hand in hers and once more I drown in the deep green of her eyes. "You're gonna find that girl that doesn't waste your time. That girl is going to knock you off your feet and you'll forget about me in a heartbeat. You deserve that girl, Dallas. Please, try to find the one, do it for me."
No, I won't have it. She can't give up on us without even giving it a chance. I wrap her tightly in my arms and hear her let out a soft sob. Just then, I realize I'm crying too.
Her hands gently scratch the nape of my neck, feeling her hot breath against my skin when she says. "Promise me, Dallas."
I don't have a choice, do I? I inhale deeply and say. "I promise, angel." although I don't mean it.
We sit for a long time in each other's embrace. I don't know why neither of us I willing to let go. But eventually, Nova pulls back and takes my face in her soft hands.
"I know this is hard on you and believe me, I wish I could be the one Dallas. The one who could give you love, the kind of love you need, deserve. I wish I could share your dreams and experience unforgettable moments. I wish I could give you my heart, but I can't. You deserve someone willing to give her soul to you. I could say I stay forever, but that would be a lie."
She gives me a small smile, running her finger along my jaw. Her face falls, so as her hands." I hurt you too much, Dallas. I even made you cry. You need to realize I'm not the one. I love you and I hope someday when you find your true love, you'll understand why I'm not the one. I'm sure you'll find the one I will never be. You mean so much to me Dallas. You realize that right. That I do love you."
Unable to utter one word, I nod. I do believe that she loves me. I only wish she would never have met him.
Her eyes fill up again and her voice is barely a whisper." I'm scared of losing you, but I understand it if you can't be around me if that's hurting you. I rather see you happy without having you in my life, than be selfish."
The thought of her walking out of my life is unbearable. For me, it is the opposite. I rather feel hurt every day, than don't have her in my life. "No, please don't do that. You will always have a special place in my heart, angel. We will work this out."
Her head slumps against my shoulder and I lay mine on top of her head. We're both mentally exhausted. "So what now?"
We talked almost through the night. I think I helped her clear her mind and make the right decision. She is going to keep it. She will leave work and hop on a plane to tell that English fucker she loves him and expects his child. The lucky bastard. I left her on the couch to sleep and after a quick shower, I'm wide awake staring at my ceiling.
I need some time to think this over and her being away from here will help me. I died too many times waking up, hoping it would be the day she told me she loves me too. That day never came and it will never come. I could love her for a million reasons, for a thousand years and that won't change how she feels about me. The dark clouds above me will eventually vanish and the sun will warm me up. I suffered enough pain to know that time will make it better and open new doors when others close. I just have to be patient.
***
The present.
It's still hard on me, even after all this time.
She keeps on taking my breath away. My feelings for her are slowly leaving me, but that doesn't mean she is less special to me. I need to be brave though and push my doubts away. Everyone around me found their true love, so why won't I?
Nola is the mini version of Nova, only with his dark brown curls. Her eyes are just as bright green as her mother's and she has that same stubborn attitude. Boy, they are gonna have a hell of a time when she hits puberty and not only because of her attitude.
She can be very sweet though. I'm uncle Dallas to her. We're fond of each other. Every time she sees me, she opens her chubby arms wide waving and shrieking happily and nothing can stop her until I pick her up. Nova's face always lights up when Nola gives me one of her tight hugs with her little arms wrap around my neck. Matt lets it happen without pulling a muscle.
Yeah, I admit that it was hard to believe when Matt called me that night and said he wanted to bury the hatches. He did it and accepted me as one of Nova's friends. We're not anything actually, but there is also no tension between us either.
And another great thing happened, I became an uncle for the second time. Jaimy and Hannah became parents of their son, Caspian. His name hit me hard. It's the name of the sea between Europe and Asia where our parents disappeared. I'm sure they are looking over us and love that Jaimy keeps them in memory by the name of his son.
Nova and I joked about me working for her when she finishes school and opens a small company under her father's watchful eye. She is working her ass off to make it a successful and smooth start. She's always away with her father meeting up with new clients the days she isn't working at the Wakefield brothers.
I haven't seen her in two weeks, to be honest. She and Matt are on vacation with his parents in London to meet their grandchild for the first time and won't be back until next week. Nova was very nervous about it. That crazy-ass ex of Matt, Alita, would be home after completing her treatment successfully. She promised to call me when things would turn ugly. She didn't, so I guess no one got their claws out.
I stretch my legs and arms, happy that this workweek is over, and quickly gather my stuff to avoid Carrick. He has a nasty habit of dumping some extra work on my desk that needs to be done for the weekend starts. Well, not this time you old wanker.
I'm slaloming my way on my motorcycle through the heavily crowded roads when I see a familiar body frame with brown hair.
Nova? She shouldn't be here. I brake abruptly, earning a few car honks, and park my motorcycle horizontal between two cars. Officially, this ain't a parking spot, but I'll be back in a heartbeat.
I run across the street calling out to her. Either, she's in deep thought or she's ignoring me on purpose, walking into a Starbucks without reacting to my calls. I chose to believe the first option. She wouldn't deliberately ignore me when there's nothing wrong between us.
She's last in the waiting line when I walk in. I walk up to her and place my hand on her shoulder. "Jeez, Nova! Are you deaf? I've been calling out to you for like five minutes or so?"
"I heard you." she says, turning her face toward me. "But my name is Lea, not Nova." smiling wide at me.
My hands instantly get clammy and the air is knocked out of my body, the moment her blue eyes meet mine. I've never seen such intense light blue eyes as hers. They have the same color as the sea from Jaimy's honeymoon pictures in the Maldives.
It's so weird, I swear I thought it was Nova. They have the same bronze skin tone, the same hair color and I think even the same haircut. Call me crazy. Her body has the same hourglass shape and she's even the same height as her. But her face is not Nova's.
She's stunning. Very stunning. I don't even think she is wearing any make-up. Her lashes are thick, long, and dark brown, contouring her eyes like a piece of art. Her nose is the perfect shape for her face and her lips are a whole other thing. Her lips are amazing. They are full, luscious, and ready to be kissed.
"Are you okay?" She asks, frowning at me, with a little squint of the eyes.
I clear my throat and my sinful thoughts at the same time. "Yeah, sorry. I thought you were one of my friends. It's crazy, you two look a lot like each other."
She smiles again, a perfectly happy smile. "Sorry to disappoint you, I'm not her."
Normally, I would have my words ready and hook in on the sorry to disappoint you. But my mind feels fluffy and I'm being awkward right now.
She keeps on looking questionably at me. "Did you and your friend, Nova, agreed to meet here?"
"No, no. Did you?" I stammer.
She lets out a sweet laugh and her eyes light up even more. "No, I didn't agree to meet up with your friend Nova."
Could the ground under me open and swallow me now, please! "I'm sorry. I'm a... wasting your time. You're probably meeting someone and... Yeah." Leave now, Dallas! Before you make a bigger fool out of yourself.
"Actually." she says when I move to walk away. "I'm not meeting anyone. So, if you're not in a hurry..."
My wrong parked motorcycle pops up in my head for a second and I forget about it the moment I look into her eyes. She's worth the ticket. "No, I'm not in a hurry."
I walk back to her and extend my hand. "I'm Dallas. Dallas Navarro."
She places her soft hand in mine and a shiver runs down my spine when my name rolls from her tongue. "Hi Dallas, I'm Lea. Lea Montoya."
Hi loves,
I felt so bad for Dallas, I had to give him his own happily ever after. I hope you like Lea as much as I.
Have a lovely day ♥️.
Xoxo Gabriëlla.
And please don't forget to vote.